


Let's dance the night away

by GonerLoner



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Dancing, Felix doesn't know Korean, Found Family, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)-centric, Minor Violence, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, Protective Minho, Running Away, Woochan as the only couple, at least not at first, or well they become best friends, so sorry for Jeongin n Seungmin but they didn't have a place in this story, will make up for it soon though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2019-11-29 09:30:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18221315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonerLoner/pseuds/GonerLoner
Summary: There was only one thing Lee Felix was passionate about. Only one thing he would give up everything for. One thing, one dream he would go miles for to achieve it, make it his reality.And that was dancing.But wouldn’t it be too easy if life didn’t throw him a few stones in the way, to make him stumble and fall?Luckily, he finds friends on the way. Friends who help him up again, who make him realize that fighting for his dream is worth going through hardships on the way.





	1. Start Line

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, my first work in this fandom. Yiiis. I blame [Honey_Bunie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Bunie/pseuds/Honey_Bunie) for giving me this idea. Or well, making me want to also contribute sth for this fandom and writing out the idea I had. Let's hope I can do this fandom justice.
> 
> I have a rough draft of this story. As in: I know what happens in all the chapters. BUT: The new semester is getting more serious over the course of the next week, so don't expect regular updates. I'll try my best to make it worth your wait though!

** Incheon Airport, Seoul **

_“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Seoul Airport. Local time is 06:45 pm and the temperature is nineteen degrees Celsius._

_For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seatbelt sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that it is safe for you to move about._

_Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight._

_On behalf of Qantas Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Enjoy your stay!”_

Movement erupts in the economy class section.

The passengers of flight 028-691 start shifting, some looking around in a daze as they just woke up from a nap, some starting to talk to their seat neighbors.

Finally, the plane comes to a stop, the Fasten Seatbelt signs turn off and everyone starts to get up and move around, searching for their belongings in the overhead bins and gathering them together. The noise of talking people gets louder.

Felix stays curled up in his seat, watching the people around him move, leave the plane, barely hears the flight attendants talking to them through the loud music from his headphones.

After only a few people are left, he rises too, slowly pulling out his backpack from underneath the seat, clamping his worn-down skateboard under his arms and walking towards the exit. His head hangs low, his hood drawn up. He doesn’t see the flight attendants smiling at him, some frowning because of his obvious young age and him being on the plane all alone.

_Let them wonder. Let them talk._

He only looks up as he stops inside the airport building. People squeeze past him, some letting out an angry murmur at how he blocks the way.

Everyone here is in a hurry.

But Felix doesn’t find it inside of himself to walk faster, to even keep walking before he has digested the fact that he really did it. He’s in Korea now.

A shudder runs through him at that thought, a small, giddy smile appearing on his tired face.

_He made it, he made it, he finally got away._

Shaking himself out of his daze, he moves a bit to the side to not draw attention to himself anymore, looking around. The architecture of the building is amazing - high ceilings, light flooding through huge, floor-deep windows, plants on almost every corner, giving the place a feeling of luxury an airport shouldn’t normally have. People are still rushing past him, walking towards the shopping areas, talking to the people at the information booths.

The noise penetrates his ears even through his headphones.

_Focus, Felix._

He has to find the train station, find a way to get to his aunt’s address. Even though he’s not sure if the snippet with her dates he found on his mother’s desk is actually correct…if this information is still up-to-date.

Sighing, he lets his skateboard fall to the ground, steps on it and starts rolling to what he thinks is the exit, not caring about the glares people still send his way.

He has to try. He has nowhere else to go.

 

_This had to be it. Here must be her address._

He looks at the paper in his hands again, his mother’s messy handwriting barely readable.

 _Ms. Yunhee Lee_  
_Apt. 102 Unit 306_  
_Sajik-ro-3-gil 24_  
_Jongno-gu, Seoul 30174_

He looks around, brows furrowed in confusion. Is…is this really the right place? He can’t read any of the signs on the many buildings in the narrow street around him, but he recognizes the pictures of chicken and pork. Some takeaway restaurants, apparently.

He can’t really believe that his aunt, an employee in a pretty big design company, lives in such a narrow street surrounded by chicken takeaway restaurants.

People are squeezing past him, watching him with wide eyes. Some are glaring.

Probably because of his orange hair. Or the skateboard under his arm. Or the brightly colored hoodie he’s wearing.

The nice guy at the train station said he had to go here though. This was the address he had been searching for.

He had seemed trusty enough, so Felix takes a deep breath, gripping the skateboard tighter in his hands and walking around the building to search for the entrance.

When he eventually finds it, accompanied by an array of doorbell sings, he swallows.

All the names are written in Hangul.

(He probably should have tried to memorize the letters of his aunt’s name, just enough so he would be able to recognize it if he saw it.)

Felix closes his eyes, struggling to control his breathing. After a few minutes, he catches himself again, telling his nerves to shut it and ringing the first doorbell.

Nothing happens after a few minutes, so he rings the next one.

After four tries, the door finally swings open, revealing an annoyed man a bit shorter than Felix himself, clad in only an undershirt and shorts as he starts to yell at Felix in agitated Korean, making him almost jump back in surprise.

He swallows nervously and stutters out a reply with the few Korean words he tried to memorize during the flight. “Do you- know…Lee Yunhee? Live here?” He points at the entrance, then at the note in his hands.

The man stops with his yelling, taking a step closer to take a look at the note in Felix’ hands before he shakes his head, saying another few words in a much calmer voice before shrugging and retreating back inside the building.

The slam of the closing door makes Felix flinch again.

For a few seconds, he only stands there, staring at the doorbell signs. He doesn’t realize it at first when tears make the sight blur in front of his eyes.

His aunt doesn’t live here.

She…she doesn’t live here.

Only now, he realizes how stupid his plan had been. Running away to Korea after having spent all the money he had left on the plane ticket and assuming the address he found in his mother’s desk would still be correct and he would be able to find her…and what then? What did he assume would happen afterward?

Now, everything seems to be a hundred times worse.

He only knows a few Korean words, is barely able to find his way around in the streets of Seoul, his phone went dead not long ago, he doesn’t have any money with him – and now…

Now, the fact that he doesn’t know a single soul and doesn’t have a place to sleep for the night only adds to that.

Stumbling against the wall, he lets his skateboard and himself tumble to the floor. A shaking breath leaves his lips before he breaks.

He’s alone. Utterly and completely alone.


	2. Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: Lee Minho and Hwang Hyunjin.  
> On the way home from dance practice, Minho watches a street performance - a boy dancing in front of a café, a cheap speaker standing next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait and uploaded today even though I told myself I wanted to upload on Sundays. Guess you guys don't mind.

Practice is over early today, making it the only day of the week they’re able to go home before six in the evening. School work piles up together with dance practice and choreographies he has to look over, refine and probably start anew.

Lee Minho hums to the tunes coming from his headphones, eyes flitting around lazily as he walks through the bustling streets. He tries to not think about the mountain of work waiting for him.

The sun is shining, trees are blooming, the weather is nice even though it’s still cold and a sharp gust of wind makes him pull his jacket tighter around himself.

He’s glad they finished early today. He’s exhausted, in dire need of a shower, but he’d rather do that at home than in the cramped showers of the dance studio. Even if that means walking home as disgusting as he always feels after practice.

He walks alone. His friend Hwang Hyunjin had been asked to stay behind, probably for some talking about their new choreographies and the grading of the teachers. Dancing through the day since eight in the morning has worn them all down – Minho wonders how Hyunjin still agreed so easily to stay behind, beautiful smile still present on his lips. He must be exhausted like all the other students.

Minho hopes for him he’s done before lunch. Woojin agreed to cook for them today and that’s something he has been looking for during the entire morning. It’s not often Chan’s boyfriend finds the time to visit them – it makes them even more happy on the rare occasions he’s able to do so.

Until Hyunjin joins them, Minho will eat alone with Woojin. He can’t say he doesn’t mind – it probably had been some time since the last evening he spent alone with the eldest of their friend group. And since his other three roommates are almost always out of the house – sometimes Minho wonders if they live in their studio and not in their shared apartment –, silence reigns for the biggest part of the day.

But with Woojin, the silence gets bearable.

Exiting the train station closest to the apartment he lives in, Minho suddenly becomes aware of a small gathering of people in front of a café, a few meters away from the station exit.

He tilts his head and stops, curious.

Did something happen?

_It doesn’t look like a car crash or something similar, though…Then why are they all standing around like this?_

They look too excited to be witnessing the aftermaths of an accident.

Unable to contain his curiosity, he walks a bit closer to the crowd, pulls his headphones down to hear them talking animatedly to each other. There are not many standing around, some are holding their smartphones up to film.

That’s when he recognizes what’s going on.

Music. Different from the songs he normally listens or dances to – calm, mellow instrumentals, though mixed with hard, electronic drumbeats. No vocals. Coming from a speaker that seemingly doesn’t have enough power for music this energetic. It’s loud enough to be heard, but the quality isn’t the best.

It’s rubbish if he was being honest.

Minho’s dance teacher would beat him up for a set-up like this.

He blinks.

The first thing he recognizes, watching as a few people move aside, is orange. Bright, orange colored hair.

A wide, white sweater that seems a bit dirty. Worn down. Black, ripped jeans. Scuffed, white sneakers. And a skinny body that moves so flawlessly to the music, sometimes hits the beat a bit too late, but he recovers quickly, masks it with flowing, jerking, sharp moves - and Minho is in awe.

Being a dance major, he should be used to people dancing in total synch to the music - but this boy is something else.

He’s no professional dancer, he’s lacking most the accuracy a professional should have, but he more than makes it up with the intensity of his moves. It’s as if the music controls him, it's as if it flows through his limbs, muscles, veins.

 _He moves like he_ is _the music._

Like he was born to move his body like that. Minho recognizes talent when he sees it.

Continuing watching from the sides, he notices the small hat standing in front of the speaker, sees the way a few people step forward to let some coins and bills fall inside of it.

Donations?

Only now, Minho seems to see the backpack placed next to the small speaker – black and decorated with a few patches, worn down as well, a skateboard attached to it. He furrows his brows a bit at the discovery.

The boy ends his performance with a fall to his knees, a noise echoing that makes Minho wince. That must have been pretty painful.

But the boy doesn’t let it show, only continues to stay in this position, his chest moving in heaving breaths as Minho and a few other people start to clap. He doesn’t look up as some more decide to donate their spare money.

He does so too, staring at the boy for a few more seconds as the crowd disperses again. Sees him standing up, his knees buckling a bit as if the fall had hurt him a little too much. Sees him turning off the music, looking around. His expression is almost completely hidden behind his facemask, but his stiff body posture and raised shoulders are telling a whole tale of nervousness, of being uncomfortable, uneasy – or just plain exhausted – to Minho.

The boy – he is so small, his frame so skinny, he could be…he is probably…younger than Minho – picks up the hat, counting the money inside before his shoulders slump a bit.

Minho wonders if he’s able to eat this evening. He wants to go closer again, letting another few thousand Won fall into the hat.

He frowns, shaking his head at his thoughts and slipping his headphones on again, the sounds of his 2PM playlist filling his ears. With a sigh, he adjusts his black facemask, continuing his walk home.

He shouldn’t be dawdling like this.

Woojin is probably already waiting.

 

Minho wonders why the boy is still on his mind by the time they crowd around the sofa to eat dinner together. This time, Chan says he would make an exception and let them eat while watching tv. Only this time though.

It’s dark outside. Changbin, Jisung and he came home about half an hour ago, they have been in the studio for over nine hours. Working on music that would help them conquer the world one day.

They’re good, hell, they make some of the best songs Minho has heard to date and he’s sure they will break through one day, making them rise from the underground scene they are currently involved with.

But looking at the bags under their eyes, the dishelleved hair, realizing how often they forget to eat or simply take care of themselves…Minho sometimes wonders if it’s worth it.

Changbin leans against Minho’s shoulder as they watch a rerun of their favorite k-drama episodes. He yawns, blearily staring at the bowl with food in his lap. His eyes are slowly drooping closed.

Minho looks down on him, smiling softly and nudging his hands. “Eat some more Bin-ah, then you can sleep. You don’t want to let Hyung’s delicious cooking go to waste, right?”

Changbin grumbles but does as he’s told, quietly picking up more rice and chicken with his chopsticks and eating slowly, all the while still leaning heavily on Minho. A yawn leaves his lips again as he eventually places the empty bowl on the table and cuddles up against Minho. He’s asleep in a matter of seconds.

And Minho is too glad to see him fall asleep so quickly to be worried about how long they must have been awake for him to crash like this.

He lays his arm around Changbin’s shoulders, pulls him closer into his side.

Woojin chuckles when he watches them from the side of the couch where he has Chan cuddled up in his lap, then briefly locks eyes with his boyfriend. “You all work so hard”, he whispers, smile widening as Jisung turns to look at him. “No going back to the studio for today. You deserve the rest.”

“But…I still have-“

Hyunjin places a finger on Jisung’s lips, effectively cutting him off. “Nuh-uh. None of that. It’s already dark outside and whatever work you have left, it still can be done tomorrow.” He grins at Jisung’s pout, hugging him tighter as he lets his head fall to Hyunjin’s chest again. Minho doesn’t understand his answering murmur.

Chan sighs, looking for a point to talk against them, but he must be more tired than they thought when he deflates again after only a few seconds. “You can’t stop us from going early tomorrow”, he says, tired gaze still fixed on the screen. His food is only half-way eaten – Minho thinks Woojin will remind him, later on, to eat again.

They haven’t been eating quite well in the last few weeks.

It shows in the way Jisung’s normally puffy cheeks are slimming, how Chan keeps raiding Minho’s belt collection because his pants are too wide for him.

Woojin chuckles, a tiny bit sad. “No, we can’t, love. But we can keep you here for today and make sure you actually get some proper rest and enough nutrients to feel better again. You need to be able to function to get some proper work done.”

Chan only sighs as an answer, his messy blond hair covering his eyes as he closes them, exhaustion letting him tuck his head under Woojin’s chin.

Silence rings through the living room a few moments later.

Woojin watches him sleep, a smile on his lips. He looks up to meet Hyunjin’s and Minho’s gaze. “Help me bring those idiots to bed? After that, you two can go to sleep too. You’ve also been up and working since eight in the morning. Don’t worry, I’ll clean up the living room.”

He doesn’t live with them, but sometimes they wish he would. He brings calmness and order into their chaotic household, holds them together when they can’t hold each other anymore and they all see why Chan is so infatuated with him.

To be honest, all of them are. Hyunjin and Changbin are the youngest in their small group, looking up to Minho and Chan, but Kim Woojin is the anchor they all need.

Minho nods with a yawn, smiling gratefully before slowly standing up and heaving Changbin on his back. He doesn’t bother trying to wake him up or being gentle – that boy sleeps like a stone once he’s tired enough. _Which definitely is the case right now._

Behind him, he hears Hyunjin doing the same to a weakly protesting Jisung – “I can walk on my own!” “Pfft, you’re two seconds away from face-planting onto the floor. Just let me help you.” – and he snickers quietly at their exchange as he brings Changbin into his room, carefully lowering him onto the bed.

He stands up with a sigh again, watching as Changbin curls tighter in himself, hands grasping the munchlax plushie tightly as soon as Minho hands it to him.

_Cute._

Minho smiles softly as he covers Changbin with a spare blanket from his closet. “Don’t overwork yourself so much, Binnie”, he whispers as he presses a small kiss to his forehead. “You can’t show the world your light if it burns out before it has a chance to be seen.”

He turns off the light as he leaves the room.

 

“Minho-hyung?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been a lot more quiet than usual today. Is everything alright?”

Minho stays silent for a few seconds, cuddling his pillow as he stares at the wall. The street dancer enters his mind again.

Both of them are lying on their respective mattress of the bunk bed, lights off. They should be sleeping. School starts early tomorrow.

“Have you…have you seen any street performer around here lately?”

He can almost hear Hyunjin’s frown, added by shifting in the bed under his own. “No. Only in the city center or where they’re allowed to play. Why? Did you?”

Minho sighs, worrying his lip and wondering if he really should tell Hyunjin. On the other hand, …he wants Hyunjin to know. The boy’s moves had been quite captivating. It had fascinated him. He had a way of moving barely anyone in their dance class has.

The sudden idea of looking for him again the next day with Hyunjin rushes through his mind, although he doubts that he’ll be at the same spot.

Maybe he even got picked up by the police? Was he even allowed to dance where he had been?

Apparently, he’s been silent for too long, because he can hear the ladder of their bunk bed creaking, his mattress dipping to announce Hyunjin as he lays behind Minho, snuggling up against him. “Hyung?”

Minho sighs, keeping his stare at the wall. “There was this…boy when I left the train station to walk to the apartment. He was dancing in front of a café, the one Chan-hyung and Woojin-hyung always claim that is so good and we should try it-“ He breaks off, shaking his head. “Anyway. At first, I thought he maybe was a student, he looked quite young…but he only had a small speaker with him and a hat standing in front of him. Oh, and a backpack and a skateboard. But nothing else.”

He turns, almost too quickly for Hyunjin to realize and he blinks at how close they suddenly are.

Minho’s eyes are wide in excitement. “But you should have seen the way he dances, Jinnie. Like…like…like he was born to do so.” He hesitates. “His movements weren’t perfect, and he sometimes missed the beat, but…I’ve never seen a person dance like this. So…so naturally, as if they became one with the music.”

Hyunjin blinks, a bit taken aback before a soft smile appears on his lips. “But I have. Hyung, that’s literally how you dance.”

Minho stares at him, frowning. He shakes his head. “No, no. That’s different. I’ve had-“ He pauses to think, searching for the right words to say. “-over four years of practice now – very intense practice. You dance differently after that. But it’s something else when you just…move naturally like that.”

Hyunjin stays silent for a few seconds, contemplating his words.

“Do you think he will come to that spot again? Where you saw him today?”, he asks.

Minho thinks, turning on his back to stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I hope so.” A pause. “Or he appears somewhere else around here. He looked…I was asking myself if he had a place to sleep at tonight.”

Hyunjin furrows his brows. “Huh? Why?”

“I don’t want to assume anything, but…” Shrugging, he sighed, helpless. “Maybe I was reading this whole thing wrong and he actually has a place to stay at and food to eat. But he looked so…so down and so exhausted when counting what the people had given him…I doubt he would dance for money if he didn’t urgently need it.”

“Hyung, we’re also asking for donations during our performances.”

“That’s something entirely different. We don’t…need to depend on whether the audience gives us money or not. They know we’re dance students – sure we could use some extra money because tell me a time we haven’t been whining about not having enough money.” He hesitates. “But Chan and Woojin always make sure we have all we need to survive. This boy though…”

A sigh. “He also didn’t talk. Didn’t say a word – at least not while I was watching. Which I found a bit odd for a street performer.”

He turns to face Hyunjin again. “Anyway. Do you want to sleep up here or alone? We need to get up early tomorrow.”

For a few moments, Hyunjin seems to contemplate his words before his arm lands on Minho’s waist and he snuggles closer. “I want cuddles.”

A chuckle vibrates through his chest, he raises his hand to let long fingers play with Hyunjin’s ash-blond hair. “Alright, you big baby. Sleep well.”

Grumbling protests rise from his chest, but soon after, Hyunjin quiets down with a yawn. “Good night, hyung.”

Minho stares at the ceiling, eyelids slowly slipping closed.

He dreams of an orange-haired skinny dancer, hard beats and mellow, calm music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! I'll be forever grateful for any feedback that helps me to get better <3


	3. Placebo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho and Hyunjin save Felix from a disaster.   
> _He doesn't really know why he trusts them...but they're so kind, even though he barely understands what they're saying to him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck a schedule. I planned to post on Sunday each week, but... every five days should be cool too, I guess.
> 
> Special shoutout to [hotelcortez](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez) for leaving such sweet comments (read all of their stories!! Their writing is so damn good it's seriously addictive!) and also to [Honey_Bunie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Bunie/pseuds/Honey_Bunie) for always supporting me so dearly!! Go check out their story [Baby's Breath](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026102?view_full_work=true) \- it's really amazing!!
> 
> Okay, enough advertising, lol. Enjoy the chapter, guys. 
> 
> (Clarification: In the chapters from Hyunjin’s/Minho’s POV, English words are written in cursive. In chapters with Felix’ POV, Korean will be written in cursive.)

A few days pass.

Hyunjin brings up the topic with the mysterious dancer a few more times, but he doesn’t appear in front of the café anymore. At least he’s not there by the time Woojin and Chan declare a free afternoon and bring the whole group to agree with spending the day in the café, laughing and downing more sugary drinks than probably is healthy for them.

That afternoon, Minho is too surprised and glad to see his three friends taking an afternoon off – _willingly_ – to think too much about the orange-haired dancer.

Still, it affects him when it’s the eighth day he passes the café alone and no trace from him. He doesn’t even know why he hopes to see that boy again.

Maybe it had been because of his fascinating moves? Or how skinny he was – or his legs at least, the rest had been hidden under the oversized white sweater.

Is he only worried? Or is it something else? Does he want to help him? Talk to him?

Minho is deep in thoughts as he walks home with Hyunjin, schoolbooks heavy in their bags, but their minds light with stories and jokes Hyunjin is telling him right now. Or…well, Minho’s mind doesn’t feel too light either with the thoughts racing each other inside of it.

He doesn’t talk, instead chooses to chuckle when the situation calls for it or grin at Hyunjin’s way of telling a funny story – almost as good as Jisung always did. His friend doesn’t call him out for not talking, content with letting the words tumble from his mouth and Minho wander in his own thoughts. It’s not the first time the situation has been like this.

The sun is setting, making the fluffy spring clouds glow a fiery orange. It’s cold – the day has been warm, but the air is now cooling down noticeably. Minho shivers a bit as he zips up his black jacket.

Only a few people walk past them on the sidewalk. Occasionally, a car is passing by.

Both stop as they hear music.

They’re walking through a relatively quiet street, so the sound of a cheap speaker isn’t hard to miss. People are crowding around the glass front of a café, some cheering, some holding up phones.

It’s a different location to last time. They need to drive with the subway for a few stations to be able to get home.

Minho frowns. And as soon as he recognizes the beat, hard drums mixed with calm, mellow instrumentals – synthesizer and piano, sometimes a flute –, he takes Hyunjin’s hand and tugs him across the street to the crowd, his heart racing in anticipation.

“Hyung?! What the actual fuck??“ Hyunjin stumbles, barely catching himself again before he faceplants onto the street.

They stop a few meters away from the café. Minho stares.

Yes, it’s him. He stands in the center of the small crowd, his backpack and skateboard leaning against the wall behind him. A new song starts playing and he gets into a starting position.

Hyunjin shakes him, annoyed. “Hyung, what-“

Minho shuts him up with a slap and points towards where the dancer starts his next choreography again.

Hyunjin looks and his eyes widen, the words dying on his lips.

He’s left speechless with the same feelings as Minho a few days prior. It makes him grin a bit, seeing that he’s not the only one affected by a young boy with such grace, beauty, passion.

Minho can’t help but wonder why such a talented dancer is out here, on the street. He looks worn down, different clothes on his body, the orange in his hair not as bright as he remembers it. He wants to see his face, but the black facemask covers it almost entirely, the rest being hidden by the flying strands of his hair.

This time, his dance isn’t as harsh as last time Minho saw him. It’s smooth, adapting to the feel of the calmer song, each movement flowing into the next one like water through a riverbed. It still holds an almost unearthly grace, an energy Minho only has seen a few times in his life until now.

From the corner of his eye, Minho sees Hyunjin eyeing the people. They’re standing a few feet away from the crowd, but he still sees a few girls holding up their phones, filming the dancer. He wonders when it will show up on social media; do they think of him as talented as Minho thinks he is?

Maybe he will go viral?

His thoughts get interrupted as the door to the café they’re standing in front of suddenly bangs open, startling everyone.

An angry man storms out, a white apron around his hips. Probably the owner of the café.

They see him shooing away the people – “There’s nothing to see here! Stop crowding this place or I’ll call the police!” –, before he turns to the dancer, his face twisted in an expression of anger and furious storm. Balled fists are shaking at his sides.

“And you.” The boy stares up at him, the music now stopped and even from their distance Minho can see the fear radiating off him.

“Uh oh”, Hyunjin mutters next to him, watching the scene unfold as the man starts to yell, shouting profanities, insults, threats, not caring about how the boy flinches back in fear, cowering from the angry man, shoulders hunched.

Suddenly, his hand raises as if he wants to hit the boy.

That’s it for Minho.

“Wait here”, he growls, showing his backpack in Hyunjin’s hands, his fists clenching as he walks, almost runs towards the scene.

“Don’t you dare to touch my friend.” Voice dangerously low, he steps in front of the dancer, boring his eyes into those of the shop owner, briefly seeing surprise flicker in them.

But only a second later, they’re back to glowering at him. “I will deal how I please with beggars in front of my café. Move.” He takes another step closer.

Minho doesn’t move an inch, feeling small hands grip the back of his jacket and a small whimper reaches his ears.

Fierce protectiveness surges through him and his eyes are blazing fire as he grits his teeth. “No. You should be glad he put up such a good show.” A smile full of teeth pulls his lips apart. “I bet you never had that many customers in front of your pitiful shop. People won’t come here anymore if they know you’re able to hit an innocent child.”

For a brief moment, he locks eyes with Hyunjin, flickering his gaze to the boy’s backpack, speaker and skateboard before he grins at the shop owner again, a challenging glint in his eyes.

He doesn’t need to see Hyunjin sneaking towards them to know that he understood his message.

The man is furious, his face red with anger. “You punk-! Come here! I’ll show you respect!”

But before his hands can reach them, Minho grabs the boy’s wrist and yanks him away, starting to run at the same time he’s seeing Hyunjin charge past them with the boy’s stuff in his hands. He almost feels bad that he made him carry his backpack too.

Then, he doesn’t because he knows how fast Hyunjin can be.

Shouts of the angry man follow them until they round the next corner, breaking down in a narrow side street, panting from the sprint. High brick walls surround them, almost no light reaches the bottom of the alley.

Minho briefly grins at Hyunjin, laughing as they make eye contact, adrenaline coursing through his veins. His eyes wander to the dancer, leaning against the wall with heaving breaths, making his grin soften into a smile at the sight.

He stands up again, clearing his throat before approaching him. “Hey, you okay? I’m sorry I pulled you away so briskly. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

The boy looks at him, eyes wide before he pulls his facemask down. A small face appears, round cheeks, pouty lips, a button nose and – _are those freckles??_

_Damn, he’s freaking beautiful. Even if he looks so tired and worn-down like this…_

The boy has yet to answer and a helpless look appears in his eyes – dark brown and so full of emotions it’s like they’re trying to hold back a storm – before he groans, letting his head fall back against the wall.

“ _I wish I could understand what you just said but I can’t speak Korean…”_

_Holy shit, his voice is deep._

_Is that English?_

Minho never has been good at English. He looks at Hyunjin, frowning. “What is he saying?”

Hyunjin’s brows are furrowed in concentration. “I think he’s speaking English. Let me…”

He stands up from where he had been resting on the ground and walks towards them, inviting smile on his face.

“ _Hey. Can you…you don’t understand us?_ ”

The boy’s eyes widen even more before he bites his lip, self-conscious. He shakes his head. “ _I’ve only recently…moved here…I can barely speak Korean_.”

Hyunjin nods, playing with the seam of his jacket. “ _It’s okay. Well…We’re sorry for uh…interfering? Like this, but…we couldn’t let you…get hurt.”_ He seems pleased with himself, then straightens himself, bowing briefly. “ _I’m Hyunjin. This is Minho – ah, Minho-hyung._ ”

Minho nods as a brief greeting, smiling. He can see the boy visibly relaxing, a relieved smile playing around his lips. He only understands a few bits of the conversation, but he can tell that Hyunjin seems to be saying the right things.

He leans at the wall next to the boy, crossing his arms and watching them talk.

“Hello.” He bows quickly in return. “ _I’m Felix. Thank you so much for your help…I…I don’t mind that you pulled me away like this…_ I thought he was going to hit me.” A brief shudder racks through his small body.

Minho grits his teeth. “I wouldn’t let him do that.” Hyunjin smiles at him briefly before turning to the bo- Felix again, continuing in English. “ _Where do you live? Hyung and I can walk you back_.”

Felix’ eyes seem to dull a bit suddenly, the still brewing emotions settling until a defeated look takes place and Minho briefly thinks about how he has never seen a person displaying their emotions so openly – especially not a person they’ve met so recently.

He lets his head sink a bit as soon as he understands Hyunjin’s question. “ _You don’t have to, really._ ”

Hyunjin shares a look with Minho. “ _No, we want to. After what just…happened, we don’t let you go alone_.”

Felix sighs. “I don’t…” He looks up, avoiding their wondering gazes. His eyes land on his backpack and he swallows. “I…”

“Hyunjin. He can come with us. The sofa is-“

“Didn’t Chan-hyung say they have a performance tonight? Their rooms are free, they won’t be coming back until tomorrow morning or something. I’m not letting him sleep on the sofa.”

Minho frowns. “I doubt he’ll be comfortable sleeping in the bed of one of our roommates if he doesn’t even know us both.”

With a sigh, Hyunjin turns to Felix again who looks like he wants to run away any moment. His gaze softens, smiling a bit.

Felix looks so scared, yet so hopeful, his eyes big as he stares at Hyunjin. It pulls at Minho’s heartstrings.

“ _Hey. You don’t have to be afraid of us. You can… If you don’t have a place to sleep or you don’t know…where to go, you can sleep at ours._ ”

His eyes widen even more. “ _Really…?_ ”

Hyunjin can’t help but giggle a bit. “ _Of course. We have enough space._ ”

After a few moments, Felix nods eventually, a smile shining, and Minho thinks it rivals the sun. It’s exhausted and a bit strained, but he’s still taken aback of its beauty.

“ _Thank you!_ ” Felix bows deeply to both of them, his bright smile directed at Minho. He continues in Korean. “Thank you for…saving me.”

Minho snickers, his chest feeling warm as he thinks of the right words to say. “ _It’s okay. He was…not right._ ” He doesn’t say more because…how could he explain the fierce sense of protectiveness coming over him as he felt Felix clinging on to his jacket?

He could never let him sleep out in the cold, now that he has talked with him and knows his name.

It’s similar to when he defended Hyunjin all those years ago. Probably he has a soft spot for boys younger than him and sharing the same passion as him.

Hyunjin draws him out of his thoughts as he hands him his backpack. “Time to go home, hyung. We both need a shower…and I guess Felix does too.”

Minho nods. The boys gather up their stuff and start their way back to the apartment, Hyunjin and Felix trailing behind Minho.

He smiles as he hears how their English conversation picks up once again. The words don’t come easy to Hyunjin, but Felix’ giggle and occasional comment – assuring him in his chose of words or adding one when he doesn’t find it – seem to give him more confidence.

And even if Minho only understands pieces of their conversation, he doesn’t mind. He’s glad Hyunjin agreed to take Felix home with them.

An occasional glance behind him shows him the awestruck smile on Hyunjin’s face, the way he stutters sometimes or almost stumbles when Felix giggles once again.

_He’s not the only one under Felix’ spell…thank God._

Minho snickers, returning Hyunjin’s quick gaze with a grin. He’s amazed at how Felix has him wrapped around his finger so quickly – on the other hand, it was the same for Minho himself, so he isn’t really surprised.

He just hopes their roommates are okay with him staying in their apartment. For how long, he doesn’t know. Until he has everything figured out and finds a place to stay on his own?

Maybe. At least for this night. He’s even sure there are some leftovers in the fridge from what they made this afternoon, just in case Felix is hungry too.

_Let’s see._


	4. If

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix meets the rest of the gang. (meaning: Minho's and Hyunjin's three hardworking roommates.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so on time, I'm surprised by myself, woooh. 
> 
> Because I'm nice, I want to bring attention to Hotelcortez' recent story [Walking Contradiction](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18141920?view_full_work=true) \- because I've been following it since Chapter 1 and it's seriously so addicting. Go show some love if you haven't already bc God knows they deserve it!
> 
> Sry for the advertising, lel. Have fun with the chapter, my lovelies! <3

“ _Changbin! Why the hell is there somebody sleeping on our couch??_ ”

Steps coming closer. “ _Stop shouting, hyung.”_ Pause. _“That’s something I’d really like to know too. There was nobody when I came home yesterday_.”

A scoff. “ _If that’s one of Jisung’s boys– HAN JISUNG!_ ”

Running steps. “ _For goodness sake, Chan-hyung, stop the shouting, you’ll wake him up_.” Hissing. This voice sounds familiar. “ _Jisung is still in the shower. And no, he’s not one of his ‘boys’._ ”

“ _So you were responsible for bringing him here?_ ”

“ _Me and Hyunjin. He would have been beaten up if we didn’t do anything._ ”

“ _And what made you think you’re responsible for stepping in?_ ”

“ _A-are you serious now?? I’m not letting a…a near child get beaten up if I can do something about it! He looks even younger than Jisung, I…I can’t walk away from a situation like this!”_

Silence for longer than a few minutes, before a sigh breaks it again. “… _Fine. Why did you bring him here though? Doesn’t he have a place to go?”_

Hesitation. “ _I don’t think so. He looked…almost panicked when we asked him. He also barely understands Korean – only English. Hyunjin did great in talking with him, but…English is your mother tongue. We were hoping…”_ A sigh. “ _I’m sorry, I should have told you about it yesterday. We were hoping he could stay here for a bit…at least until he finds some other place to stay at. And…that you could help him a bit with…getting around and all. And…getting comfortable probably? Please…?”_

More silence, then another sigh, deeper this time. The voice doesn’t sound as angry anymore. _“…okay, fine. I’m sorry I reacted this way…I’m still frustrated about yesterday. They really dragged us down on that stage.”_

_“It’s okay. Let’s…”_

More steps that suddenly stop. _“Oh, he’s awake.”_

**

Felix can’t help the fear surging through him as he hears the shout, the raised, angry voices, pulling him from his slumber. He pulls the blanket over his head, curls up, tries to hide, to make himself as small as possible.

Sounds of tableware breaking, a pained cry and Olivia’s quiet whimpering from where she’s hidden next to him. Her shaking body, pressed against his. The sound of his door opening, heavy steps walking into the room, _no, no, please don’t hit me, please, pleasepleaseplease-_

It takes a few seconds until he realizes nothing of what he thinks is happening actually happens. It’s just in his mind – memories.

His brows furrow in confusion, which only deepens as he feels the fabric of the blanket cocooning him and… _that’s not his blanket._

And…the voices have quieted down now, but Felix can still hear them – and they’re completely unfamiliar. And he doesn’t understand a word they’re saying.

What…

Right. How could he forget…He’s no longer at home.

_Where is he though?_

The thought prompts his sleepy mind to fully wake up, hand slowly lifting a corner of the blanket to look into the room.

A wide, spacious living room, wooden floor hidden under a colorful rug, a big TV, empty, white walls, a dark shelf on the right side of the TV cabinet, filled with…books, he assumes. Or games.

An open door from where the talking voices probably come from.

He blinks, memories of yesterday flitting through his mind.

His aching knees from the way he let himself fall to the asphalt during his dancing. The scratches have probably healed over already. The fear when the shop owner walks straight towards him, shouting things he doesn’t understand but made him cower in fear nonetheless, the boy stepping in front of him with a fiery look in his eyes.

Him running alongside that boy and another one carrying his things. Both of them talking in broken English to him, offering him a place to sleep and something to eat. He declined the food, he didn’t want to eat anything away from them – it seemed they barely even have enough themselves.

So he ignored his aching stomach, drank a big glass of water and laid on the sofa, rolling himself into the blanket they gave him. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, surrounded by warmth and the softness of the blanket.

They saved him. One and a half weeks after running away, he finally sleeps in another place than on the streets, hidden in house entrances or under bridges. He should thank them.

_How did he even survive this long? All on his own?_

He blinks, adjusting his eyes and cowering more under the blanket, watching as two figures appear in the open door, eyes set on him. A flinch makes his body jump as they make eye contact.

The boy on the right looks familiar.

_Minho?_

Yes, he thinks his name was Minho. The one who boldly has stepped in front of him to save him from the café owner’s wrath.

He’s wearing what looks like pajamas – a dark lilac shirt, matching pants, no shoes.

The other boy – man? – seems unfamiliar. Silver-blond, curly hair frames a strong face, features set into a stony expression Felix can even see from his position on the couch and he wants to hide again. He’s dressed in black sweatpants and a wide, grey sweater.

But just as Felix presses himself further into the backrest of the couch, trying to make himself as small as possible, Minho walks further into the room.

His expression softens as he stops in front of the couch, crouching. “Hey”, he says in English. “Did you sleep good?”

Felix can only nod, though he still looks scared as his eyes land on the other young man standing at the door who slowly comes closer too. He sees Minho following his line of sight.

A piece of conversation flits through his mind, Hyunjin telling him about one of their roommates also being from Australia.

He could have someone to talk to.

He would be welcome in their home.

_Do they always shout like this? Is this a normal conversation?_

Felix doesn’t really want to know.

He probably already overstayed his welcome.

Untangling himself from the blanket, he stands up and bows quickly, staggering as a wave of dizziness makes him sway. Luckily, he catches himself quickly again. “I, uh…thank you for letting me stay here, but… _I should go now_.”

He doesn’t have a chance to see Minho’s confused expression because suddenly, the other boy steps forward, expression softened in something more curious.

“No…wait, please.”

Felix’ head snaps up, staring at him with wide eyes.

_He speaks English too??_

The boy smiles, a dimple showing in his cheek. The area under his eyes is dark with exhaustion…or lack of sleep. Felix doesn’t know.

He walks a bit closer, tilting his head while he watches him. “I’m sorry if you’ve heard us before. I uh…I’m Bang Chan, Minho’s roommate.” He extends his hand for Felix to grab.

Felix needs a second before he realizes he’s staring – flustered, he grabs Chan’s hand in a handshake, _totally not freaking out about how big Chan’s hands are compared to his own_. He swallows. “Uh…I’m Felix. Lee Felix.”

Chan nods, smiling. He lets go of his hand after a few seconds. “I recognize your accent. Are you-“ He stops as Minho elbows his side to get his attention. “ _Yes?”_

“ _I’ll go have my shower. Don’t forget you’re on breakfast duty today.”_

Chan blinks before nodding with a sigh. _“Yeah, yeah. Would you take a look if Hyunjin’s already awake? Classes start soon for you.”_

_“Yeah. Don’t tell me what I already know, hyung.”_ Minho leaves the room, chuckling.

Chan watches him go before turning to Felix again. “Sorry. What I wanted to ask…” A curious glint melts his expression into a beautiful smile again. “Are you from Australia?”

Felix blinks, his eyes going wide. “Yeah, I just…moved here about two weeks ago. How-“

“I’ve lived in Sydney until I moved here ten years ago. Man, I thought I’d never hear that accent here in Korea!” _Heck, his giggle is so precious._

Felix can only stare, his thoughts racing.

So Chan is the roommate Hyunjin and Minho had told him about?

Felix is relieved to have met someone who also speaks English – more fluently than Minho and Hyunjin, it seems –, but he’s still too confused to relax again. Is he welcome here? Does he have to leave?

He wants to stay if he’s being honest with himself.

Chan scratches the back of his neck, looking to the door behind him and back at Felix again, smile still on his face. “So, uh…I’m kind of in charge of making breakfast today – and if you want to, you can stay for that. We don’t mind.” His eyes narrow to glittering crescents and Felix stares again.

That smile is freaking beautiful.

He wants to agree, but _they probably need their food for themselves, they barely seemed to-_

“And before you start thinking, yes, we have enough for you too and no, you didn’t overstay your welcome. I…initially thought you were someone else – and I had…I ran into quite a few problems yesterday which is why I’ve been…not in a great mood this morning. Anyway, I’m sorry for shouting again.”

“N-no, it’s okay”, Felix hurries to say.

Chan’s smile gets a bit wider. “Alright, then…would you like to stay for breakfast?”

Felix opens his mouth to decline, but his grumbling stomach beats him to it, making him clutch his torso in embarrassment. It feels – and sounds – like his stomach wants to eat him from the inside out.

Chan lifts an eyebrow, chuckling. “Okay, you definitely stay. This sounds worse than Jisung when he hasn’t eaten for an entire day.” He motions for Felix to follow him as he turns to leave the room. “Has it been that long since you’ve eaten something?”

Hesitantly, Felix follows as they enter a small, but clean kitchen. “Uh…sometime around yesterday morning? I think…” He isn’t quite sure, memories of pain, exhaustion and angry people shooing him away bleeding together and honestly, he doesn’t know how he survived the past week.

He’s also quite sure he lost some more weight. Once again.

Chan turns around to look at him, eyes wide before his expression turns serious. “Alright. You can eat with us – it’s no problem, really.” He opens the fridge, staring into it, before taking out a few items. “I can’t cook as well as Woojin-hyung, but well…actually, I can barely cook. At least I can make some eggs, but I’m still glad he left a few things yesterday that we can eat this morning. We’ll survive.”

Felix slowly sits down on one of the stools at the counter, watching Chan while chewing on his lip.

It’s silent for a few more seconds before Chan speaks up again. “Do you…have a place you’re staying at? Why did Minho and Hyunjin bring you here yesterday?”

Felix looks down on his hands, his cheeks flaming up. “I…uh…” _How much can he tell Chan?_

He seems to feel Felix’ hesitation, turning towards him with a smile while continuing to scramble the eggs in the pan. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He hesitates. “I’d let you stay here for the day, but Changbin, Jisung and me are leaving for the studio soon. Hyunjin and Minho also have dance classes today, so…”

Felix shakes his head, smiling a bit while staring down on his hands. “It’s okay, I’ll find a way. Thank you for…for even letting me stay here and not kicking me out again.”

Chan’s eyes widen. “As if I would do that! I know I sounded quite angry before, but I’d never- not if you don’t have another place to go. Believe me.” He bites his lip, hesitating before turning to the pan again.

“You said you-“

The sound of voices coming closer interrupts him and Felix flinches greatly as the kitchen door bangs open, revealing Hyunjin wrapped around another young boy, engaged in a laughing conversation.

He stares at them with big eyes. _Another roommate?_

Finally, Hyunjin recognizes him, untangling himself from the boy before tumbling towards Felix and hugging him loosely. “ _Felix! You’re awake_!”

He can’t help but smile even though he stiffens at the surprise attack. “ _Hey, Hyunjin. Thanks…_ ” He racks his mind for the right words. “ _for letting me…stay_?”

Hyunjin nods with a  bright smile. “Of course. As if Minho would have let you sleep on the streets after that disaster. _Morning, Chan-hyung_!” He walks over to him, hugging his waist while simultaneously trying to snatch a piece of the sausage Chan is currently cutting.

“ _Morning, Jinnie. Hey, Jisung_ ”, Chan chuckles, swatting his hand away.

Hyunjin pouts, turning to the other boy who watches them in confusion before smiling again. “Felix, this is Jisung, our third roommate. A literal sunshine!”

Felix smiles hesitantly, bowing his head briefly. “ _Hello…I’m Felix_.”

Jisung looks at him and blinks before a beautiful, bright smile lights up his face. “ _Hey!_ ” He walks closer, sleeves of his hoodie wrapped over his fists, making them look like paws. “ _Haven’t seen you here before…Where did Minho pick up such a beauty and why didn’t he tell me?_ ” His pout is cute, but…what did he say?

“ _Yah, Sungie, leave it. He barely can speak Korean and besides, I’ve already claimed him so lay off. And he’s way too cute to be treated like you always treat your prey._ ”

“ _Prey?_ ” Jisung blinks in – absolutely adorable – confusion at that before a giggle breaks out of him, soon turning into a laugh that has him almost doubling over at the force of it. Felix bites his lip to fight back a smile as he studies him, not really realizing when Hyunjin’s arms hug him from behind.

“ _Ah, Jinnie, you’re too cute._ ”

Hyunjin sticks out his tongue at him. “ _That’s Hyung for you!”_

Felix closes his eyes with a frustrated sigh, playing with the sleeves of his hoodie. He wants to understand what is going on.

Now, he regrets not bringing any of his Korean books with him.

_Well, he had thought he would be able to learn more once he met up with Aunt Yunhee…_

Chan meets his gaze as he slowly rises from his thoughts again and smiles. “Don’t worry about what they’re saying. They’re….Jisung’s just…a bit of a flirt.”

Felix nods slowly, continuing to watch Jisung with an absent look in his eyes.

Hyunjin’s voice makes him turn his head again as Jisung walks over to greet Chan.

“Minho and I have to leave for uh…dance later on – you want to come with?”

He looks at Hyunjin with huge eyes. “But I…you have to…” His shoulders deflate. “I’d only be a burden.”

Hyunjin and Chan exchange a glance and after Chan translates what he said, Hyunjin sputters in indignation. “No, you wouldn’t! We’re…the class today is not very…strict – I’m sure you can watch.”

Chan buts in with a few words directed at Hyunjin, before looking at Felix. “You don’t have anywhere to go? Which school you go to?”

Felix hesitates before shaking his head, looking down while the words leave his mouth in a rush, too fast for Jisung and Hyunjin to understand. “IkindofrunawayfromAustralia andnowImonmyown…”

Chan blinks once he deciphers the words, his brows furrowing as he puts the pan with scrambled eggs on the table, together with a few bowls, the sausage, and a few other items. He looks like he wants to answer, but a look at the clock on the wall shuts him up, his expression becoming serious.

“We’re talking later on”, he decides, turning to Jisung. “ _Can you go get Minho and Changbin? I want to know what they think they’re doing for so long. We have work to do._ ”

Jisung nods, leaving the kitchen once again.

Hyunjin sits down next to Felix, taking his hand to play with his fingers. “You have such small hands”, he grins, awe in his voice.

Felix blushes and tries to pull his hand away but Hyunjin only holds it tighter. “No, it’s cute! Also, you…we totally have to dance together. I’ve seen a bit of what you can and it’s…wow.” His smile causes more heat to rise to Felix’ cheeks and he looks away, doesn’t want Hyunjin to see him blushing. He nods, barely having heard what he said.

His grumbling stomach interrupts all further words and he groans, clenching his free hand into his – Hyunjin’s – sweater, because it actually _hurts._ Fuck, okay, maybe it has been more than a day since he last ate something?

Sue him for not being sure. Every day before yesterday seems to blur into each other and leaving him confused as to what actually happened on certain days of the last week.

Both Chan and Hyunjin look shocked at the noise, but before they can say something, the kitchen door opens again and Jisung comes in, followed by two other boys – Minho and…Felix guesses this is Changbin.

He shivers as a gaze from dark, cold eyes lands on him and he doesn’t realize the relieved smile spreading over Minho’s features as he walks over to gently hug Felix. At first, he flinches a bit but can’t help the way he relaxes in his embrace.

_They barely know him for a day. Why are they so touchy with him?_

He’s happy they allowed him to shower yesterday. He wouldn’t feel comfortable letting them hug him otherwise. But now that they do, he happily soaks up every friendly touch he can get because he doesn’t know how long this will last and he doesn’t know when the next time will be someone hugs him like this if they suddenly decide to kick him out again.

Minho’s hair is fluffed up from a shower, a soapy, fresh smell wafting around him and it makes Felix relax even more, leaning his head against Minho’s neck while he watches the others talking. A sigh leaves his lips as Minho’s arms tighten a bit around him.

His eyes land on Changbin who watches him with an emotionless expression.

Minho senses the way he turns his head and turns towards Changbin too. “ _Changbin, that’s Felix. We found him yesterday and didn’t want to let him sleep on the streets, so we offered him a place here_.”

Changbin nods slowly, observing the way Minho still clings to Felix. The corner of his mouth lifts in the slightest imitation of a smile. “ _You’ve only known him for a day and you already hang all over him like this? You have it bad, hyung._ ” He snickers before sitting down next to Chan.

Minho shrugs, letting go of Felix and sitting down too between Jisung and Changbin. Felix misses the warmth of his arms already and tries his best not to pout.

“ _Think what you want to think, Binnie._ ”

Chan chuckles as he sees Felix’ unsure expression and sits down on his other side. “That’s Changbin. Don’t be intimidated by him. He looks mean but he’s a softie once you get to know him.”

Felix nods hesitantly, watching all of them start to eat. He hesitates to take something for himself, but after his stomach grumbles loudly once again, Hyunjin sighs, starts to fill up his plate and give it to Felix. “Eat up, you need it.”

He nods with a blush. “Thank you.”

For a few minutes, there is silence at the table, only filled with the sounds of six boys eating hungrily.

“By the way…” Chan swallows his bite, looking at Felix with a genuine curiosity in his eyes. “How old are you, Felix?”

“I’m eighteen.” He puts down his chopsticks – he can’t eat too much either way without feeling sick – before playing with the hems of the sweater he’s wearing – Hyunjin’s sweater which is much too big for him – and watching the other’s reactions.

Jisung perks up, a smile on his lips. “Oh, I’m eighteen too! When is your birthday?” He shouldn’t be shocked that Jisung is also able to speak English, but he kind of is so it takes him a few seconds to answer.

“Uh…September 15.”

A gasp. “No way!” Jisung’s grin almost splits his face in two. “Mine is September 14!”

Felix blinks, before he too gasps a bit, a hesitant smile parting his lips. “How cool! We’re basically twins!”

“Oh yeah! _And I’m not the youngest in this group anymore! Yes_!” His cheering shouldn’t sound so happy as it does to Felix.

“ _It’s one day, Sungie. You’re one day older than him.”_

_“Still a hyung! Chan-hyung, can he stay with us? Please?”_

Chan blinks, surprised at the question before he studies Felix’ face, noticing the confusion there. He smiles before answering Jisung. “ _I’ll think about it today. We’ll talk in the evening once Woojin-hyung comes over and we’re all together again. Alright?_ ” Everyone agrees.

Felix looks at him with furrowed brows. “I definitely have to learn more Korean…”, he mumbles to himself, but Chan still hears it.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there. We only talked about how you’re the youngest in our group now because Jisung is a day older than you.” It makes Felix smile hesitantly.

_Doesn’t that kind of imply that they see him as part of their group now? Like…a friend?_

He watches their conversation break apart a few seconds later as Changbin catches sight of the clock and quickly stands up to put his dishes away, motioning for Chan and Jisung to do the same. “ _Work waits._ ”

Chan throws an apologetic glance at Felix as they hurry to finish up everything. “We have to leave…Studio work. Hyunjin and Minho will take you to their dancing studio today though – we’ll see you in the evening!” He looks at Minho briefly, eyes serious. “ _If anything happens, if any of you need us…call me. I’ll make sure I notice it._ ”

Minho nods in answer.

And out of the kitchen they go, rapidly corresponding in Korean and Felix is too occupied to be jealous of how quickly Chan can change between the two languages to register what he said.

The entrance door has already fallen closed as he realizes that Chan has initially allowed him to stay longer for the day.

He blinks, his hands shaking a bit. _Is this real?_

_How did he get so lucky to find such…such nice guys?_

Hyunjin gets him out of his mind again. “Let’s go too! We have classes to go to!”

And so, they too finish up their breakfast, putting their dishes into the sink and Felix waits for Minho and Hyunjin to get their bags with their dance clothes.

They smile at him, chatting with each other and occasionally, Hyunjin translates what Minho has said so Felix can also have a chance of participating in the conversation.

He’s glad they’re this considerate towards him even though Minho barely speaks English and Hyunjin also has his difficulties – it makes him even keener on learning to speak Korean. He wants to talk with them more without them having to hesitate after every third word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment if you liked it! <3


	5. Broken Compass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When going through the messages on his phone, Felix discovers something.
> 
> It doesn't end pretty.
> 
> At least Chan is there when he breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait anymore. This chapter won't be due until tomorrow, but I just finished correcting it and I want you all to read it and tell me what you think!
> 
> Warnings for: mentions of abusive past, panic attacks.

Felix sits on Hyunjin’s bed, hair damp from a shower, clad in his bright colored sweater and black track pants.

He’s alone. Minho and Hyunjin are in the living room, watching a movie.

Chan’s boyfriend Kim Woojin has made a brief appearance, long enough to greet Felix with a smile and to introduce himself. He has planned to wait with the two dancers, but a phone call pulled the smile from his face and made him say goodbye again even faster than he arrived.

Felix has watched the exchange from a bit afar, giving a small wave to show Woojin he was there but not coming closer. He doesn’t know how to behave around him, even though he seems friendly.

So, Minho and Hyunjin are watching the movie on their own, waiting for their three other friends to come back. Even though that most probably won’t happen until around midnight.

It’s nine now.

The trio has spent their day in the studio, going over choreographies, showing Felix what they’re capable of, clapping and whooping as it’s his turn to show off his skills even though Felix doesn’t understand why they’re so enthusiastic about his freestyling abilities. Sure, he’s had dance classes until he was like…sixteen and still danced a lot after that, but…He still has so much to learn until he can even _think_ about dancing on Minho’s level.

A frown furrows his brows as he now stares at his phone. He hasn’t had internet for almost a week – he’s honestly surprised the battery lasted long enough to get him through a few choreographies on the streets. Well, most of them – it shut off after the disaster Hyunjin and Minho saved him before.

_Not easy to comprehend that this happened only a bit over 24 hours before._

Connected to the house’s Wi-Fi, the phone hasn’t stopped lighting up every few seconds for the past ten minutes – all his notifications probably now catching up on him.

_31 missed calls, 17 new voicemail messages, 207 new messages._

He’s tired…he doesn’t want to read the messages…he doesn’t even want to dial his voicemail to listen to what everybody probably left him. Not only his sister Rachel, but also his mother, his friends, hell, he even recognizes one of the phone numbers as the one of his former dance teacher…

_Where did she even get his number from?_

Felix sighs and unlocks the phone as it finally stops lighting up with messages.

_Might as well do this…better now than never._

He starts with the messages of his friends. Or…the few friends he really had at his high school. The texts are varying…starting with:

‘hey mate you missed class today again’

‘r u sick??’

‘derek n I will come over later on. Ya need to catch up on hw’

Until eventually…

‘just heard it. Can’t believe you really ran away’

‘wtf do you think you’re doing? youre three months away from graduating – why tf Lix…just why??’

‘couldn’t take that shit here anymore, huh? not that I’m surprised’

‘coward’

A sting makes his heart hurt at the sight of his once best friend Jake calling him a coward.

Maybe he deserves it…

He sure has a point. Felix _did_ run away to avoid having to deal with his family anymore. He _did_ run away to avoid having to deal with a future he didn’t want to live in. He deserves to be called a coward.

He swallows, trying to ignore his feelings and further sifting through his texts. His teacher, a few of his former dance classmates, …Rachel.

She probably sent him the most texts…asking of his whereabouts, what happened, pleading him to answer her.

He gulps with a lump in his throat and goes to look through his voicemails, his heart clenching in fear of what he might find.

The first few messages are from his friends, at the beginning still worried as if he simply just disappeared, then increasingly disappointed as they seem to find out that he ran away and left them behind.

Rachel’s voicemail messages are a mixture of desperation, anger, and resignation. Tears are burning in his eyes by the time he’s done listening to them, silently dripping into his lap.

The last one is one from his mother – or at least he thinks it’s her. It’s the number of their house telephone.

Sucking in a shuddering breath, he lifts the phone up to his ear.

It’s her, indeed.

His fingers go numb at the sound of her emotionless voice.

_“Felix…I never thought I would have to say this to you. You…you’ve been a good son. You listened to us, you even tried your best to make us proud – why did you talk against your father? Why didn’t you listen…why did you let all that go to waste? Why did you try your best to defend these…dance classes? That stupid hobby of yours? …  It doesn’t matter anymore. I know you want to run away to Yunhee. I know you’re in Seoul right now. I think by now you’ve realized that she moved. And I hope…I hope you enjoy your life on the streets. I hope it shows you what you left behind. Don’t come back anymore. You’re not our son anymore. …  If your father hears about that…let’s say I’m glad Olivia’s in a school camp right now. She’s turning ten in a few weeks. … I guess the phase where he spared her is over by then. … Goodbye, Yon- Felix.”_

Felix’ eyes are wide by the time the voice of his mother stops talking. The blood frozen in his veins, thoughts running in his head at breakneck speed. He doesn’t even feel the burn of more tears in his eyes. Two words eventually break out of the mess of jumbled sentences and screams.

_No, please…_

Frantically, he searches for Rachel’s name in his contacts, pressing the call-button and waiting anxiously.

But the only thing he hears is a robotic voice telling him his balance is too low to make a call to an Australian number.

He pales. No, no, no, _he has to talk to her…_

Fuck.

Letting his hand with the phone fall back in his lap again, he tries to think, tries his hardest to not freak out, to just stay calm.

_Minho and Hyunjin._

His eyes go wide, and he almost slaps himself for forgetting the two in the living room. _Maybe they can help him?_

Quickly, he looks up a few words he might need to ask them.

With a deep breath, he dries the tears on his face and walks out of the room, towards the open door of the living room.

He’s hesitant to approach them, seeing how comfortable Hyunjin looks where he’s curled up on the sofa, his head in Minho’s lap and both of them munching on some popcorn, snickering when a particularly funny scene of the movie occurs.

“Hyungs?”, he quietly speaks up from where he’s standing, seeing their eyes flicker towards him.

Hyunjin rises from his lying position, the blanket slipping from his shoulders. It’s too dark for Felix to properly read his expression. “What’s up, Felix? Everything okay?”

He takes a deep breath, walks closer while playing with the sleeves of his sweater. “ _Can I…call somebody?”_

Minho and Hyunjin exchange a glance, frowning before Hyunjin speaks again. “Who do you need to call? Your phone doesn’t work anymore?”

Felix shakes his head, clasping his hands together in a try of hiding their shaking. “Y-yes, but…” _Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…_

“ _Take him outside. I’ll call Chan_.” Minho’s voice breaks him out of his stupor, and he watches Hyunjin standing up and walking towards him, hands gently resting on his shoulders before he leads him outside. Felix feels numb as he just lets himself get steered away.

They stand in the hallway and Felix looks up at Hyunjin, eyes wide and breathing more ragged than just a few seconds before.

Hyunjin frowns now that he can see Felix’ face in the light. “Did you cry? What happened?” A gentle hand comes up to carefully push back the strands of his hair.

Squeezing his eyes closed, Felix tries to keep the feelings at bay. His breathing getting faster the more thoughts are running through his head – the fear his mother’s voicemail raised in him, the need to talk with Rachel, the ice-cold terror his father may lay a hand on Olivia and blame him for what hurt he may cause her…

He clamps a hand in front of his mouth to stop the broken sob that wants to claw its way out of his throat. His wide eyes stare ahead, they see the collar of Hyunjin’s oversized sweater, wide and showing off a bit of the white top he wears underneath.

But the print on the fabric blurs in front of Felix’ eyes, he doesn’t hear Hyunjin calling out to him, doesn’t feel how he steers him against the wall, giving him something to lean on as pictures crash down on him, a cry of Olivia’s scared voice filling his mind and he sobs again, tears trailing down his cheeks. He slides down the wall, brings his knees against his body and hugs them.

His mind gets louder, words screaming at him with voices that seem like a distorted and twisted version of his childhood.

_‘You left her alone. You alone are responsible for what will happen to her now.’_

_‘Why did you even try? Why did you have to be so selfish? Oh look at you, the grand Lee Felix just wants to follow his own dream, not even thinking about how this may affect other people, how angry your friends are about you, how sad your sisters may be, how angry, how disappointed in you-‘_

_‘Don’t get us started on your parents. You know your father will beat you black and blue if he ever sees you again. You selfish piece of shit.’_

He sobs, hands clawing at his hair, his whole body shaking, his breath fluttering and irregular like a scared bird. His heart pounds in his chest, way too loud for anyone to hear.

_No, no, no, no, shut up!!_ _Please, she has to be okay, please let her be okay, please, I don’t want to be the cause he hurts her, please, please, pleasepleaseplease_

Felix doesn’t even know who he pleads to.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but suddenly, there’s another voice filtering through the noise in his mind – wait, three other voices. He can’t decipher what they’re saying…But there’s a hand on his shoulder and worried words sifting through the fog and he actually understands a bit of what is said. It makes his head snap up from its bowed position.

Chan kneels at his side, face worried, hair ruffled, eye bags prominent under his eyes.

Wait.

Felix blinks, confusion momentarily pushing back the panic in his mind.

_How…wasn't he…still…away?_

_How much time has passed already?_

Chan seems to read Felix’ thoughts because he smiles a bit. “Minho called me. We then decided to all come home. It’s quite late now anyway.” His smile disappears again, he scoots a bit closer before reaching out slowly and carefully loosening Felix’ hands from his hair.

Felix almost flinches away at the contact and at how close they are, but he catches himself just in time. Shame-filled, he looks away.

“Felix…what happened? Why are you crying?” Chan’s voice is so soft, so worried, so caring.

It makes his heart ache.

“I…” He closes his eyes, clenching his fingers into his track pants. “I…need to make a call…to my sister.” He swallows, staring at his hands. “I…need to make sure of something.”

Chan furrows his brows. “Why? What happened?”

Looking up at him, Felix pleads. His eyes are glistening with tears. “I-I’ll tell you later, but please…I should have already called her…It may be too late now even…” His breathing quickens again at the thought.

_Oh no, please let it not be too late, please not…_

“Hey…Felix, shh. Everything’s okay, I’m here.” Chan’s hands on his knees help him to ground himself again, help him to not get lost in the muddy depths of desperation again and he takes a deep, shuttering breath.

“Please…”, he whispers.

Chan looks up briefly, seemingly to contemplate something before he nods with a sigh and stands up. “I have Skype. You can call her with my phone.” He pulls Felix up, gently laying his hands on his shoulders and leading him to his room.

 

Both boys are sitting on Chan’s bed, Felix pressed against the wall. Knees tightly drawn to his chest, he watches as Chan gives him his phone, unlocked to display a keypad. “Do you want me to stay?”, he asks, worried eyes locked on Felix’ face.

He can only nod. “Please.”

Chan nods too, getting into a more comfortable position with an exhausted sigh. He takes one of his pillows and cuddles it to his chest, settling to watch Felix.

Felix closes his eyes to collect his thoughts before he dials Rachel’s number, his heart racing as he holds the phone to his ears.

It clicks.

_“Hello…?”_

“Rachel…” His eyes close and his body momentarily relaxes a bit. Fuck, it sounds so good to hear her voice again.

“ _Felix?? Oh my god, is that you?? Wait, wait, I’ll have to go to another room...”_ He hears rustling at the other end, she talks to someone in a hushed voice before a door clicks.

A fearful thought fills his mind

“Please tell me you’re not at home”, he manages out with a choked voice.

_“Wha- No, I’m in Newcastle, with Marc. I haven’t been visiting since you disappeared. Where are you, Felix?? And why are you calling from an unknown number? Gosh, what even happened to you? I’m… Fuck, you can’t imagine how happy I am to hear your voice…Please tell me you’re okay…”_ A choked-up sob vibrates through the phone and Felix has to clamp his hand in front of his mouth to keep himself from sobbing too.

Feelings rush through his heart, too fast to really get a grip on them and he struggles to stay above the waves.

“Ray, don’t cry or I’ll cry too…” He swallows, playing with the hem of his sweater while staring in his lap. He tries to ignore Chan’s dark eyes watching him from the side.

_“How can I not?? You’ve been missing for two weeks already! Mum said something of…Aunt Yunhee…are you…are you in South Korea?”_

Felix nods even though he knows she can’t see him. “Yes…I…I…things happened, and I couldn’t take it anymore…I took the next flight and…I wanted to move to her, I found her address in Mum’s room, but she moved, and I’ve been…living on the streets for the past-“

_“You live on the streets???”_

“Ray, let me talk! Yeah, I did…but a few nice guys allowed me to stay at their apartment for a bit and one of them let me use his phone so that’s where I’m calling from- But I’m not calling because of that.” He shakes his head. There are so many things he wants to tell her, so many things they can talk about – but he calls because of something else. Something more pressing.

He exhales shakily. “I’ve…I went through my texts and voicemails today a-and Mum also left something…It’s from a few days after I arrived here…And…Ray, I’m scared.” Tears are dripping in his lap as he recalls his mother’s harsh words.

Silence for a few seconds. Rachel seems almost scared to speak her next words. _“What did she say…?”_

A warm, big hand comes to lie on his back, gently moving in wide, slow circles and it gives Felix the courage to go on. “She…she said she will tell Dad that I ran away…and that Olivia has to bear the consequences…” He sobs. “She’s only almost ten!! They always loved her more than they ever seemed to love me so I figured she would be alright…I thought…I thought h-he wouldn’t dare to harm her…But…but now that she’s turning ten in a few weeks…Mum said ‘the phase where he spared her will be over by then’. And…and…it’s my fault she has to…if he…”

He has to stop as sobs rattle his body, curling up in himself as he tries to fight the aching pain in his heart.

Like from far away, he hears Rachel’s voice through the line. _“Lix…Lixie, hey, shhh…Calm down. It’s not your fault and it will never be.”_ She stops, seems to think for a few seconds. _“Maybe…maybe your disappearance finally brought out the true colors of this family…I’ve had…Mum seems to have changed. I’ve had quite a lot more fights with her over the phone when I still cared to call. And…I think Dad’s off even worse. You’re scared for ‘Livy, right?”_

“Yes…I don’t want her to be hurting because of me…Is there nothing you can do…?”

Silence for a few more seconds. Rachel sighs. “ _If I’m being honest, I’ve already thought about getting her out of there…Maybe I can do something so that she can live with me and Marc.”_

“That would be…You would really do that…?”

She snorts. _“Lix, she’s my baby sister too. Of course I worry about her.”_ A pause. _“I’ve only seen her once when she went home from school, she looked so much smaller and also…more scared than the last time I saw her…? Ah, anyway. I’ll be taking a look on what has happened at home and…do my best to somehow get her out of there. I promise.”_

“Thank you, Ray”, he whispers, relief making his whole body sag back against the wall and he’s glad he’s sitting.

_“Nothing to thank me for, baby brother. I won’t be telling Mum or Dad that you called, but…please, please tell me you’re safe right now. That you have a place to stay at.”_

He swallows, eyes closed. “I am, yes. I…I am at a safe place right now.”

_“…okay. Oh, I’m so happy you’re okay…please, call me as soon as you manage to set up your own Skype account. Then we can talk for longer.”_

“Yeah…will do. And…Ray?”

_“Yes?”_

“Thank you for doing this…thank you for not being angry with me that I ran away. I feel so guilty for leaving Livy behind like this, but I…couldn't take it anymore…”

_“Felix, hey. It’s okay. You have nothing to be guilty for. I’ll do my best to get her out of this house, so she’ll be out of danger – but until we talk again, don’t think about that anymore. I’ll take care of it. You continue living your life, maybe you even get to fulfill your dream over there in Korea. Maybe…maybe you even get to become a dancer. I know it’s what you’ve always wanted in life. Concentrate on your own worries, your own dream, not on the life here. Don’t concentrate on what you left behind.”_

“I-I’ll try my best.”

_“That’s what I want to hear.”_ He can almost hear the smile in her voice. “ _Goodbye, Felix. Love you.”_

“Love you too”, he whispers before the line goes dead.

For a few seconds, he only stares at the phone, his thoughts so far away that he barely sees Chan gently taking the device out of his hand.

“Do you want to talk?”

Felix flinches at his voice, turns to look at him with big eyes.

Chan meets his look with a kind smile on his face. His head leans against the wall, his legs crossed over each other, his chin propped up on the big pillow he’s still cuddling. His eyes are half closed but still meet Felix’ own with all the attention he can give.

Felix gulps. “You…basically heard everything that happened that made me end up here.” He looks away.

“Well…not everything. It sounds like your life was pretty much…not okay back in Sydney and it had to be pretty bad for you to decide to…to go on a 11-hour flight only to get away from there. With only a backpack and a skateboard.”

He clenches his fists. And then, it just breaks out of him.

“I’ve always had the dream of becoming a dancer, of dancing in front of people and them cheering for me. It fascinated me since I was very young. Dancing was the only…the classes allowed me to stay away from home for longer where I wouldn’t have to hear my parents arguing, wouldn’t have to run into…into Dad reeking of alcohol and…and threatening to hurt me, insult me whenever he caught sight of me in this state.”

Felix breaks off, squeezing his eyes shut. “For some time after Dad lost his job, Mum still paid for the classes without Dad knowing and I thought she…she would have something left for my dreams, she would help me to reach them…but Dad found out. He beat her to pulp and forced me to watch, said I…I had failed him. That…that it was my fault he hurt her like this.”

He breaks off again, swallowing and taking a deep breath. It hurts to tell everything, but at the same time, he wants Chan to know. _He deserves to know._

“I would never be anything more than what he said I would be. I-I’ve tried…I’ve tried doing what they wanted me to, but everything led back to dancing. I couldn’t make myself do the things they wanted me to. And…I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t let him make fun of my dreams like that. One evening, I talked back, screamed at him, and he beat me blue and black. I told myself I would run away the same night and never come back again.” His heart clenches in his chest.

Chan’s face contorts in horror and sympathy. “But…how did you end up on the streets here?”

Felix swallows. “I…had planned to go to my aunt, Mum’s sister. She’s always been kind to me and my sisters whenever she visited and…She lives here in Seoul and I thought I had her address, but it turned out it was the wrong one. Her…her old address. And…I’ve been born here in Busan, but I never learned the language…we moved pretty shortly after I was born. I had no money left to stay anywhere or even buy myself anything and…yeah. That’s why I’ve been performing…or well, trying to perform to get some money with me and to survive somehow.” He swallows, staring at his hands.

Chan is silent for a few moments before rustling sounds next to Felix and a gentle arm places itself around his shoulders.

He flinches briefly before deflating with a small sigh, letting his head sink against Chan’s shoulder. The warmth of skin seeps through the layer of his sweater and his comforting scent calms Felix down even more.

_Oh, would it hurt if he has to leave this behind again one day._

“Felix…thank you for telling me this.” Chan’s voice is a bit hoarse.

“Huh? Why do you thank me?”

“Because I can imagine that it has taken you quite some courage to gather up.”

Felix chuckles weakly. “I feel more like everything’s been crushing down on me recently and…it was bound to fall out of my mouth someday.”

“Still.” He hesitates, looking away while biting his lip. “I want to make you an offer.”

Felix sits up again, looking at him perplexed. “An offer?”

Chan nods, a gentle smile narrowing his eyes a bit. “Yes. You can stay here at our apartment and live with us – I can also give you support if you want to learn some more Korean. I’m sure the others are also willing to do that. Until you’ve settled here a bit more. Maybe even longer.”

He blinks.

Wait…what has Chan said right now?

_He can stay here?_

“Y-you mean I can continue living here?”

A nod.

“For longer than a few wee-…months?”

Another nod, together with a chuckle.

“And you all would help me learn Korean?”

A third nod.

Felix blinks again, not really believing what he hears. Or sees. “How on earth…I never have luck like this.”

“Well, I guess today’s the first day of your lucky streak.” With another bright smile, Chan opens his arms invitingly and Felix falls forward against his chest, hugging him tightly with a happy squeal.

“Welcome to our home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? :* <3<3<3


	6. Double Knot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of Felix' life with the gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should read over this once more, but I've been lying down with cramps since this morning and I don't really have much motivation - or energy, really - to do anything rn. (*thanks past self for being so fore-seeing and always writing two chapters in advance*)
> 
> As the description says, this chapter mainly consists of a few snippets in the first weeks of Felix living with them. I hope it didn't turn out too boring, lol.  
> Still: Enjoy! <3<3

Weeks pass.

Felix settles into their group easily, like a puzzle piece they never knew was missing. He forms a trio together with Hyunjin and Minho, joining them in their studio for more and more dance performances, with their class or only the three of them. He even gets to know a few of their classmates.

Luckily, their teacher – Ms. Kim Jiyeon - is kind enough to let him participate after she walked into the trio practicing together one evening – or rather, Felix showing off a rather dangerous move from a choreography he taught himself a few years ago. She seemed so impressed that she instantly agreed to their request of letting him dance with them, making them all exchange happy grins.

Felix almost couldn’t believe it. He got one step closer…one step closer to his dream.

*

It’s evening now, the lights are out in almost every room of the dance studio.

Almost.

Faint, deep bass still vibrates through the building’s walls, increasingly louder inside the small practice room with the lights still on. It weaves together with the smooth instrumentals, melodies deep and clear like a never-stopping river.

Felix has no idea what time it is. He thinks it’s late, it has to be since he’s been dancing since Minho and Hyunjin left and he’s sweating again. But it doesn’t make him care enough to stop.

He’s too lost in the song, powerful, energetic movements stabbing through the air, combined with the precise and elegant way he’s bending his body. Biting his lip in concentration, he performs another risky jump, flying through the air before landing on his right foot, yelping as he slips and loses his footing.

With a dull thump, he lands on his side, groaning at the pain vibrating through his hip and his elbow. _That’s gonna be a bruise….damnit._

Breathing hard, he turns on his back, staring at the ceiling, splashed out over the floor like a starfish and listening to the song finishing.

_Maybe it’s enough for today…Hyungs have probably already texted him._

But before he can heave himself up from the floor to pack up, the practice room door opens suddenly.

Felix perks up, surprised.

_Who still comes in now?_

He wouldn’t have thought that there was someone else still in the building….

“Knew you still would be here.” Chan’s voice cuts through the sudden silence left by the end of his playlist and Felix’ eyes go wide as he sees his elder friend walking into the room with a smile.

He has a backpack slung over one shoulder, an open, black jacket over another grey hoodie, his sweatpants baggy around his legs. His hair is an unruly mess of curls, he looks tired.

Felix blinks. “Why…what are you doing here?” His voice probably clearly gives away his surprise. He lifts himself up on his elbows, trying not to wince at the dull throbbing pain in the right one.

“Minho told me you still were at the studio when they left. I should take a look and pick you up when I get home. I’m a bit surprised you’re still here actually…it’s almost midnight.” He walks over to Felix and stretches out a hand, helping him up from the floor and quickly catching him when Felix falls against his chest with a pained groan.

“Hey, everything okay?” Chan’s eyebrows pull into a frown, his hands holding Felix’ shoulders in a steady grip.

“Yeah, …just slipped on the last part. Banged my hip.” Taking a deep breath, Felix tries to put more weight on his right leg, sighing in relief when it doesn’t give out under him. Still hurts though.

Chan sighs but doesn’t comment it anymore, instead lets his hands hover at Felix sides as he steps back again, unsure whether the dancer needs his help or not.

Felix catches his gaze and smiles. “It’s okay, Chan. Nothing I haven’t been through before – it will probably bruise, but that’s okay.” _After all, he’s had enough experiences on how to deal with bruises and…other kinds of injuries._

He walks to pick up his own things quickly, trying to dismiss that thought again.

“If you mean…you should probably take it a bit easier though.” Chan leans against the wall as he watches him, waiting. “What have you been practicing for, anyway?”

Walking over to him, Felix huffs a bit as he turns off all the lights and they leave the room together. “Nothing important…The…the teacher allowed me to participate in their class and I wanted to perfect the steps we learned today. Well, I kind of…knew most of them already, but…it was good to dance with a teacher again. And…I kind of missed dancing in a studio, so I…did some stuff I still know from you know…earlier years. And from what I taught myself.”

Their talk after his call with Rachel comes to his mind again and he looks away briefly.

But Chan only nods slowly, a small smile narrowing his eyes as he reaches out to ruffle Felix’ hair. “I’m glad you like it this much. Just…be a bit more careful next time, yeah?”

Felix laughs, ducking from his hand before they exit the building together.

“I’m always careful, hyung. Don’t worry about me.”

*

Textbooks are spread around him, occupying almost every little space on his bed. Notepad in his lap and chewing on his pencil, Felix knows he should be concentrating on that one Korean lecture he’s currently trying to master, but how can he when there’s so much distraction from outside the room?

He sighs and looks up to the door with a gloomy glare, still knowing that it won’t stop the loud music.

_He has told Hyunjin he wanted to study. Why does he have to play such loud music right now??_

Or at least he guesses it’s Minho’s and Hyunjin’s room.

Jisung, Changbin, and Chan are in the studio again. Today is a Saturday which means no dance classes and so, Minho has gone out for a little shopping trip. Felix thought Hyunjin would have gone with him, but it seems like he has stayed at home as well.

Sighing once again, he gives up and nearly throws the pen on the small table next to his bed, followed by his notepad. He closes all the textbooks and puts them away before stretching out on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

The day he moved into this apartment comes to his mind.

The day that told him he would live here permanently.

 

_Three days had passed since he talked with Rachel and afterward with Chan._

_“I have a surprise for you”, Chan declared with a big grin as they entered the house, having just returned from a walk around the neighborhood._

_With a blink, Felix’ eyes went wide and curious as he pulled off his jacket. “A surprise? What is it?” A hesitant smile spread over his lips, he bounced slightly on his feet. Even though most surprises he had faced so far hadn’t been exactly pleasant, he knew that any kind of surprise coming from Chan had to be something cool._

_An infectious grin on his lips, Chan took a step closer before taking Felix’ hand. “I won’t tell you”, he winked. “But you have to close your eyes, otherwise it won’t be a surprise. Don’t worry”, he added as Felix’ smile dimmed a little. “I’ll guide you. I won’t let you run into anything.” His warm hand squeezed softly._

_That earnest, little promise made Felix close his eyes in almost childish trust and he nodded slowly. “Okay. I trust you.”_

_(It was almost scary to which extent he already trusted Chan.)_

_He didn’t even question why the rest of the group was nowhere to be seen as Chan carefully lead him through the apartment._

_A door opened under a gentle hand. He heard shuffling, someone giggled – Minho?_

_“You can open your eyes now”, Chan whispered, still grinning and coming to stand behind him, hands on his shoulders._

_Felix did as he was told and…_

_…flinched greatly as Jisung immediately flung himself at him with a shout, Hyunjin close behind him. Chan laughed, catching the trio and keeping them all from tumbling to the floor._

_Jisung interrupted him before he was able to ask what was happening. “Now you don’t have to sleep on that uncomfortable couch anymore!”_

_Blinking, Felix furrowed his brows as he tried to glance around Jisung’s head. “Wha-“ Then, he caught sight of the room they were standing in._

_Changbin playing with Gyu where he sat on his bed with a small smile on his face was a dead giveaway._

_But why were there_ two _beds in here? He thought Changbin had a single roo-_

_Oh._

Oh.

_It took a few seconds for it to click and he pulled out of the embrace to stare at Jisung, then at Hyunjin and once again at Jisung, eyes wide and mouth agape. “You did not…” He didn’t even have words._

_Hyunjin’s grin got even brighter. “_ We _did nothing.” His gaze wandered to Chan. “Chan-hyung and Minho-hyung did.”_

_Felix gasped, turning around quickly to face Chan, trying to come up with something to say._

_“Y-you guys got me a bed??”_

_Chan laughed, the sound warming Felix’ shock-iced thoughts. “Yes, we did.” He exchanged a glance with Minho who was sitting on the new bed and his grin softened. “We thought it would make you feel more at home here – now that…you’re officially living here with us.”_

_Any words Felix wanted to say seemed to stuck in his throat, making him open and close his mouth around nothing._

_Fuck. They really…they…spent this much money on him?_

_His arms were around Chan’s neck before he knew what he was doing, feeling him stumble before hugging back with just as much force and another chuckle._

_“Thank you, thank you, thank you”, Felix whispered breathlessly, the warm feelings in his chest so strong he wanted to cry._

_“I’m happy you like it, Lixie.” The nickname, spoken with such gentle adoration made Felix freeze up for a moment before he buried his face in Chan’s neck and the tears started to flow._

_“Hey, hey, Fe- oh god, did I do something wrong?” Pulling back, Chan’s warm hands were soon cradling his face, dark brown eyes staring at him worriedly. “Why are you crying?”_

_“Happy tears…I’m just so…overwhelmed and you calling me Lixie was…” He laughed a bit, still leaning into Chan’s touch. “M-my sisters used to call me that, I guess I’m…I wasn’t prepared.”_

_Chan smiled s, even though worry still clouded his bright gaze. “Should I…not do that anymore?”_

_Felix shook his head quickly, a bright, genuine smile breaking out of him that – finally – made relief glitter in Chan’s eyes. “No, it’s okay.”_

_“Well. Don’t forget to thank Minho too, then.”_

_Felix turned around happily and almost ran up to Minho to tackle him onto the bed before engulfing him into a tight embrace.  “Thanks a lot to you too!”_

_Minho grunted at the attack before he chuckled a bit breathlessly, arms coming up to gently squeeze around Felix’ waist. “I’m happy you like it.”_

_A rush of feelings made Felix’ insides tickle, he had to bite his lip to suppress the happy giggle that wanted to break out of him._

_He found a home._

Felix closes his eyes, chuckling as he recalls the memory. He turns to his side, lost in thoughts as his gaze lands on Changbin’s bed on the other side of the room. The dark blue bedsheets are spread neatly, Gyu propped up against the pillow. Dust is floating through the air, sparkling like tiny specks of glitter.

The dynamic between Changbin and Felix is…strange.

Sure, he had accepted the decision that if Felix would be moving in with them, it’d be in his room. But…until now, he hasn’t tried to get closer to Felix.

_Is it because he barely understands English and I can barely speak Korean?_

Probably.

Even though he’s getting better at understanding what the others are saying when they’re talking in Korean, it’s nowhere near being as fluent as he wants to be. He knows he has to study a lot more to get to that point.

Felix sighs quietly, curling up and playing with the seam of his sweater. Changbin looks so at ease whenever he’s with Jisung and Chan…Felix hopes there will be a day where Changbin behaves like that around him too. He kind of wants to be friends with him. Partially because Changbin seems like a nice friend – if you looked behind his cold exterior – and also because he just…wants that awkward silence to go away whenever they’re left alone in a room.

Reaching for his headphones, he slides them on, plugging them into his phone and searching for a certain playlist. Minho has told him about the music their roommates are producing, about the songs they’ve already put online.

Felix has downloaded them all by now. He likes their group name. _3racha._

So far, he hasn’t told Chan or Jisung that he listens to their music. Maybe he will do that one day. Or they find out before.

The first tunes of ‘Hoodie Season’ play through his ears and he settles in more comfortably, staring at the setting sun outside his window during Changbin’s part.

He likes his voice.

*

“ _I’m in the mood for hot chocolate right now_.”

Jisung’s voice interrupts the calm atmosphere of the living room, vibrating through his chest and pulling Felix from the light slumber he has sunken into. The background noise of the TV fades into his mind again.

“Mmmh”, he grumbles, burying his face deeper in Jisung’s chest. He’s way too comfortable to get up right now. And if he won’t get up, so won’t be Jisung.

Jisung giggles and then, there are soft fingers gently carding through his color-faded hair, making Felix melt into the touch with a small, barely audible sigh. “ _Koala. You’re worse than Chan when he wants to hug us.”_

“’nnnh. _You’re warm, s‘all_.” Felix’ words are a bit slurred together, he looks up at Jisung with sleepy eyes and a pout.

He grins, eyes narrowing adorably. “Okay, okay, I’m not moving.” Reaching for the blanket on the backrest of the couch, he carefully pulls it over the two of them. A big yawn almost tears itself from his throat.

“ _You gotta sleep too, Sungie_ ”, Felix mumbles, ear pressed over Jisung’s heart and already halfway to dreamland again. “ _You work too much_.”

“ _If it’s a passion, it’s not really what I would call work, Lix”,_ Jisung answers, his tone sunken into the same tired whisper as Felix’.

Felix grumbles in disagreement, shifting a bit where he lies on top of Jisung and looking up with furrowed brows as he forces his mind to wake up again. “ _Sometimes, you guys spend over nine hours in the studio. Or even more. That’s a lot even though it’s your passion.”_

He reaches out to gently touch the dark circles under his eyes, making Jisung blink at him in surprise. _“Let’s…just take a nap together, huh? We both could need it.”_

Jisung hesitates. It makes a small chuckle fall from Felix’ lips as they make eye-contact. “ _I’m not letting you go either way, so just stay here with me.”_

A defeated groan, before his arms tighten around him again. “ _Well, if I don’t have a choice either way…”_

With a satisfied sigh, Felix’ head sinks to Jisung’s chest again.

It takes maybe ten minutes until both of them are fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts! I'm a bit unsure about this chapter, I have to admit...


	7. Matryoshka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance, bonding moments. Everything seems to be going well as Felix gets allowed to perform at the busking events of Minho's and Hyunjin's dance studio.
> 
> But of course, things have to go wrong...once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to spoil too much, but be careful reading the last part of the chapter - after Felix' second bonding moment with Changbin. I mostly like to describe scenes with violence (as small as it may be) quite detailed which may trigger some people, soooo...beware.
> 
> Still hope you enjoy, my guys. I got impatient once again, I know I normally would have posted this chapter only tomorrow, but since I want to know what you guys think...yeaaaahh.  
> <3<3<3   
> please don't kill me, bwhaha.
> 
> (side note: I've changed again to write English in cursive from now on since Felix is learning Korean more rapidly and he mostly speaks Korean now.)

_Weeks later._

The music stops. Silence vibrates through the practice room, only broken up by the heavy panting of the three young dancers, their image slightly blurred in the fogged-up mirrors.

After holding the end pose for maybe a few seconds, Felix lets himself fall to his back, sprawling out his limbs and trying to drag a deep breath into his lungs. His limbs are aching, muscles sore of the high strain he just put them through.

“You okay?” From the corner of his eyes, he sees Minho watching him, grinning despite his own heavy breathing.

Felix nods, laughing. “Just exhausted.” He heaves himself upwards again, crossing his legs as he lets his gaze wander from Minho to Hyunjin who is the only one still standing, carefully stretching his limbs.

“And you guys really came up with that choreography all by yourself?”

Hyunjin huffs before looking his way and showing a little shy smile while he bends his body halfway to the right. “Well, we had a bit help of teacher-nim, but other than that…yeah, we worked that out all by ourselves.”

“That’s so cool!” Felix beams. “Do you do that all the time? Like…coming up with new choreographies for a song?”

He doesn’t miss the glance Hyunjin shoots in Minho’s direction. “Not really all the time, mostly for our busking events where our class is performing, sometimes together with one or two more dance groups. Those are…times we’re required to come up with some new choreography ideas.”

“Also, Felix, since you’re basically already a member of this class…”, Minho continues, scooting a bit closer to him while pushing his sweaty hair back. “I’m sure teacher-nim would allow you to participate in the next performance.”

Felix blinks, straightening up as his eyes go wide and he gapes at Minho. “You want me to…to dance with you and your class??”

Hyunjin giggles, coming to sit down next to them. “I mean, why not? You already proved that you have the dedication and the needed skills, and you managed to dance the steps almost perfectly after we showed it to you like…twice? I’m sorry, but teacher-nim would be dumb if she didn’t let us form a team with you.”

Felix stares at both of them, his thoughts racing.

_They want him to dance with them together. On the streets._

_Performing, with a professional set-up, booming music and lots of other dance students._

_And an audience._

“But…but does this just…work like that? I mean…Wouldn’t I have to be a student at your university to be able to like…participate at those events?”

Minho shakes his head, sighing. “The studio works together with our university, yes, but you don’t have to be a student there to be able to dance here. Teacher-nim already accepted you in the class so it won’t be a problem. I’m sure of that.”

“It won’t?”

“I may…have already asked her if you could join me and Hyunjin and we do our next performance as a trio. And she said yes.” A smug grin plays around Minho’s lips.

Felix blinks, at a loss of words for a few seconds before a wide grin splits his mouth and he bounces a bit where he sits. “So I’m really gonna perform…on the streets? With a team?”

Hyunjin laughs. “Seems like you will, indeed.”

With a happy squeal, Felix lets himself fall on his back again, the smile bright on his face. He can’t believe his luck.

 

The dark night’s air makes him shiver, huddling deeper into his fuzzy sweater. Over the day, it has been warm enough to just leave the jacket at home, but now he wishes he had grabbed one with him.

Grabbing onto the strap of his gym bag, Felix looks around, exhaling quietly before entering the studio building where his friends are probably still working at this hour. He wants to check up on them, maybe take them home as Chan did with him a few weeks prior.

Walking up to the third floor where he knows the studios of his friends are, he stops as he hears a faint bassline thrum through the hallways.

_Indeed, sounds like they’re still up and about. Or…only Chan. He has probably sent Changbin home by now._

He knows Jisung didn’t leave the apartment today due to having fallen sick a few days prior. Which is why Chan banned him from the studio for the next few days. Jisung has obeyed, although with a lot of complaining.

Quietly, Felix presses against the studio door where the melody is coming from and opens it as he finds it unlocked.

He blinks, surprised at what he sees.

Changbin sits on the floor next to the small couch of the room. Legs crossed and hunched in on himself, he scribbles away on his notebook, seemingly totally lost in his thoughts.

Chan is lying on the couch, curled up with a jacket spread out over him. He seems to be sleeping.

_Chan falling asleep? In his studio?_

At the sound of the opening door, Changbin looks up, his movements halting.

“Oh…hey, Felix.” He blinks as if just surfacing from his thoughts.

Quietly, Felix closes the door. “Hey…” He feels awkward, standing at the door in his dancing clothes and with his sports bag over his shoulder.

Fiddling with his fingers, he watches as Changbin stands up and stretches with a groan, walking over to the desk where he left his laptop to press a few keys until the music shuts off.

“What brings you here?” Tired, narrowed eyes lock with his own and he has to suppress the urge to cower.

_Why does he sometimes still feel like that around Changbin?_

“I…I wanted to check up on Chan-hyung. We ended dance-practice pretty late and a few weeks before, he had come to pick me up, so…pay-back, I guess.” A bit helpless, he shrugs. “And…you also left for the studio pretty early today so I guess…yeah.”

Changbin chuckles tiredly as his gaze lands on Chan. “Yeah…well, I guess it’s good you came. You can help me get him home. I can’t carry all our stuff and him as well…I’m quite tired too by now.”

“Uh…okay.” Still fiddling with the cuffs of his sweater, Felix comes closer slowly.

“What makes you so nervous, by the way? You don’t have to be nervous around me, you know.” Changbin also takes a few steps towards him, lips curled up into a small smile.

Felix swallows, looking at him with wide eyes. “I’m not nervous!”

Changbin’s smile widens a bit in amusement. “The way you’re behaving tells me a whole other story.” He takes off his cap to brush his hair back quickly. “But you don’t have to be nervous around me or avoid me. I mean…we share a room after all. By now, you should know that I don’t bite. I know that I’m not around very often, but…” He stops, seems unsure how to continue.

Felix blinks at him in childlike astonishment, not knowing what to say. He’s not used to Changbin talking to him like that.

But the elder shakes his head again, brushing away his thoughts. “Anyway.” Walking over to where Chan is sleeping, he reaches out to gently shake his shoulder.

“Chan. Hyung, wake up.”

 

They make their way home slowly after Changbin has locked up the studio. Chan is clinging to Felix due to still being sleepy and Changbin carries their equipment, smiling at how Chan quietly complains about having to walk when he just woke up.

Felix thinks it’s cute, smiling at how Chan hides his face in his neck every few minutes. He’s kind of glad Chan is clinging to him like that now, because the night is still cold and he’s still only wearing his sweater, but Chan is warm.

Changbin quietly snickers at the display of affection.

Back at their apartment, he takes Chan into his room after rescuing Felix from another hug that has Chan almost falling asleep on his shoulder. With a small laugh, Felix lets him go.

After having showered and changed, he falls into his bed with a groan. Four hours of practice on top with all the new things he has learned today as well as Chan’s overly affectionate side have tired him out.

He’s almost asleep as he hears Changbin come into the room quietly and slip into his own bed.

Silence for a bit, only broken up by quiet sounds as Changbin seems to get ready for sleep himself.

“Felix-ah?”

“Mh?”

Changbin hesitates. “Thank you for getting us today. And…thanks for helping me to get Chan home.”

Felix only smiles a bit bashfully, cuddling more into his pillow with a yawn. “No problem, hyung.”

*

With a groan, Felix lets his head thump onto the table. Words are slurring together in his head, different translations of sentences as well as grammatical rules mixing up until he’s pretty sure he has forgotten every single thing he’s learned so far.

_Why is this so hard??_

It has to be some time in the afternoon; the sunlight beams through the kitchen window, painting bright squares onto the surface of the table which is covered with notepads, pencils, crumpled up pieces of paper and schoolbooks. He’s been trying to study for what…four hours now?

He’s not entirely sure.

The house is empty at least – well, apart from a sleeping Changbin who has been forced to stay at home today on Chan’s orders. Judging by their loud discussion this morning, it was because he overworked himself. And this caused him to fall sick too – Jisung might be one to blame for that, but maybe it was on the whole group for putting themselves through so much stress.

Whoever was to blame for Changbin falling sick now too, the rapper now was fast asleep and Felix didn’t want to disturb his sleep by studying in their room – which is why he moved to the kitchen.

A sound from the door interrupts his self-deprecating thoughts about Korean grammar and he looks up.

“Mhh, hey.” Changbin yawns quietly as he walks into the kitchen, hands coming up to rub at his eyes. He’s only wearing a dark blue, over-sized sweater and some sweatpants, his hair messy from the nap he most likely just woke up from.

“Hey, hyung.” Felix turns his head to the side, watching as Changbin slowly walks to the sink and fills himself a glass of water.

It’s silent for a few seconds as he drinks slowly.

“Yah.” Changbin eventually motions to the books sprawled out around Felix. “How’s it going?”

Felix hesitates, before he deflates with a sigh, his voice edging on a whiny tone. “Bad…I can’t seem to get this right. I just…it doesn’t want to get into my brain.” He shows Changbin the exercises and grammar rules he’s currently trying to power through.

The elder walks closer and takes the sheet of paper to read it through, humming quietly before he sits down next to Felix. “Come on, let me help you.”

*

Two nights with the three of them as a performing trio have already passed. Two different locations, but most of the performances stay the same. The crowd seems to love Felix, cheers loudly for how in sync they are, for the energy Felix brings into the performance.

He even takes part in one of the class choreographies where all twelve members of the dance class are dancing together, moves almost completely in sync with the rest of them. It’s not as easy as with only Hyunjin and Minho, but they manage.

Not only the crowd is amazed by Felix’ skills, most of the other dancers – those of his own class and those of the other group – are too. They compliment him for his energy, for his natural way of moving, for the passion they see in his dance.

Felix floats on cloud nine, the big smile never once leaving his face as he basks in the compliments.

This. This is what he has always dreamed of.

 

Felix’ third night with the street performers comes to an end.

The crowd is dispersing already, it’s probably around ten now. Felix is sitting on a bench under one of the trees a bit away from the others, trying to catch his breath. The air is getting colder which is why he takes his jacket to hang it around his shoulders – a black-white varsity jacket with a small patch of his high-school, a bit too big on him since Rachel accidentally bought the wrong size, but he loves it, nonetheless. It went quite good with his dance outfit, so he brought it with him today

He looks up as one of the other dancers comes up to him.

“Hey!” He smiles, stretching out a hand in greeting and surprising Felix as he pulls him upwards when he takes the offered hand. “You’re Lee Felix, right?”

Felix stumbles a bit as his tired legs are required to work again, but nods with a small smile. “Uh…That’s me, yes.” He thinks he recognizes the boy – a young man? He’s probably older than him – from class practice.

“Cool, I’m Kim Jinwoo! I’ve seen you around in dance class, but I never happened to introduce myself.” His smile makes his dark eyes crinkle a bit under the cap he’s wearing. A black facemask sits under his chin, probably pulled down to be able to talk properly.

_He’s a bit taller than Felix. Probably older too._

Lean stature of a dancer, he still doesn’t wear a jacket which shows the heat of the performance hasn’t left him yet.

“Nice to meet you, Jinwoo-ssi.” Felix bows briefly, playing with the sleeves of his sweater a bit.

Jinwoo laughs. “Oh, hyung is just fine!”

People are talking all around them, their voices fading into a quiet hum as everyone gets ready to pack up their equipment and leave.

Felix talks with Jinwoo for a bit more before a few others join in the conversation, looking him up and down and quietly complementing him on his performance.

He may be seeing things, but why does that girl’s smile dull so much when she looks at him? Or why do that one boy’s eyes get such a calculating sheen as he watches Felix talk? Or why…does this other girl’s smile look so fake…and forced?

He tries to ignore it. Surely, he’s just paranoid.

Hearing Hyunjin calling out for him, he turns around, away from the conversation.

The other dancer is walking towards him, jacket and backpack in his arms. “You did great today”, he smiles as he’s close enough. “Ready to leave? Minho-hyung wanted to be back home as soon as possible. Woojin-hyung is staying over tonight.” As he looks, Felix sees Minho standing a bit further away from them, talking into his phone.

Felix wants to answer, but Jinwoo interrupts him with an arm around his shoulder. He flinches a bit at the surprising contact. “But we were just having such a great discussion…right? Don’t worry, Hyunjin-ah. I’ll make sure he gets home safely.” A smile plays around his lips.

Hyunjin lifts his eyebrows, eyes going from Jinwoo's face to Felix and back again. “Uh…you sure?” He locks eyes with Felix.

Slowly, he nods as he feels Jinwoo squeezing his shoulder a bit. He even smiles. “It’s okay, you two can leave. I’ll come soon after.”

“Come on, you know me. I have a car; I can take him – it’s no problem. As if I would let anything happen to your precious new team member.” Jinwoo leans a bit closer to Hyunjin while still holding onto Felix, winking.

Hyunjin bites his lip, still not entirely convinced. A sigh leaves him as Minho calls for him, he looks back briefly before looking at Jinwoo again. “Promise me you’ll get him home.”

“Sure, will do. Felix will get home safely and unscathed!”

“See you later then, Felix.” With a small smile, he turns around and walks towards Minho, the two of them leaving the campus after having talked for another few seconds.

 

Felix isn’t going to lie; he has fun talking with the other dancers. If he ignores the weird feeling he gets when some of them are looking at him in that strange way. Sometimes it’s difficult following their conversation because most of them are talking pretty fast and he’s still not as good with speaking Korean as he wants to be, but he gets by. Jinwoo too is actually pretty fun to talk to.

Á bit later, he excuses himself from the discussion and walks back to where he has left his bag, searching a bit to find his phone before standing up again.

He finds a new text from Minho.

**minho-hyung**

text me when youre on your way home. I don’t like leaving you here alone

‘i’m fine, hyung. We should be-‘

A hand claps the phone from his hands before he can finish typing his text.

It clatters worryingly as it makes contact with the asphalt.

He would have been shocked by that and demand to ask what the hell that was for – if it wasn’t for the rough hand that turns him around briskly and shoves him up against a nearby wall.

Felix gasps and barely manages to find his bearings again before he looks up with wide eyes. “Wha-“

There are five people standing in front of him, everyone a part of the conversation circle he had just been part of a few seconds before. Glowering eyes spit angry, cold glares at him.

Jinwoo is nowhere in sight.

_What is happening here…?_

“Finally we catch you alone”, a boy snarls. He kicks Felix’ right shin, grinning triumphantly as the leg gives out under him and he tumbles to his knees with a pained gasp. “Has been quite difficult to show you where you belong with those two mother hens always fluttering around you.”

_Does he mean Minho- and Hyunjin-hyung…?_

_‘Where you belong’… what is he talking about?_

With furrowed brows, Felix heaves himself back up into a standing position again, looking at them with wide, blinking eyes – yet the glint of fear in his look is so painfully obvious. “I have…I don’t know what you’re…talking about.”

He recoils with a scream at the sudden punch thrown at his face, making pain explode behind his nose and eyes.

His head smacks against the wall behind him and he whimpers as it sends the world spinning, his surroundings blurring out of focus. He stumbles.

Something wet trickles over his lips.

“’ course you don’t know, you little bitch.” Wait, that’s a female voice.

“I’m surprised you’re even understanding us this well.”

Trying to focus his sight again, he sees long, brown hair, a graceful face twisted in disgust, small hands clenched into fists at her side. She’s the girl who looked at him so strangely during their conversation.

The girl scoffs, watches as another boy steps up and brings Felix crumbling to the ground with another punch at his jaw. “You don’t deserve to dance here. Just go back to whatever freaking country you came from – pathetic scum.”

A second girl steps forward, her foot coming down on where his phone is laying a few feet away from him, ignoring Felix’ wide-eyed, terrified plea and crushing it effectively.

No…no, not his phone…

The group collectively laughs at the sob he lets out. One of the boys steps forward again and kicks the remains of his phone far, far away before Felix can crawl forward to reach it. Even from his position on the ground, Felix can see the evil glint of his smile. He lets out a howl as the boy steps on his hand, the bones weirdly crunching against each other. “Crawling on the ground like the fucking worm you are. As if you would need a phone. You don’t even have someone to text – be glad we freed you from it.”

Felix attempts to stand up again, he wants to speak up, defend himself, but two hard kicks against his knee and side making him crumbling down again with a scream.

Pain radiates through his body, clouds his thoughts and throws him four months back to Australia.

“ _Please…please don’t…_ ”, he weakly pleads, interrupted with heaving sobs and cries of pain, but the dancers don’t listen.

He lifts his arms, trying to protect his head as the kicks start reigning down on him, flashbacks assault his memory and he doesn’t hear what they’re saying anymore.

It doesn’t matter anyway; he already got the message they wanted to convey.

_You are not wanted here._

_Pathetic._

_Who do you think you are for wanting to dance here?_

It doesn’t stop the kicks from coming, though.

He isn’t even able to scream anymore at the new pain added from each blow, not even as something in his chest makes a horrifying snapping sound at a particularly hard blow.

At this point, he’s just sobbing quietly, whimpering for them to stop, to leave him be, even though it doesn’t do anything.

After a few minutes, they suddenly stop. Whispered talking to each other, before it’s suddenly silent.

He heaves on whimpering breaths for a few seconds, before he dares to peak out from between his arms – and through blurred sight, he sees one of the girls still standing there, just staring at him. Her cold stare from almost black eyes makes him flinch, but he isn’t able to look away as she crouches next to him, forcefully pulling his head up by his hair and looking into his wide, pain- and tear-filled eyes.

She scoffs. “Pathetic. You call yourself a dancer? You have the grace of a fucking snail. Do us all a favor and don’t come here again – you know yourself that you don’t deserve to be here. Even more so not as a part of a team with Hyunjin-ssi and Minho-ssi.” She lets his head fall back to the ground again before standing up, wiping her hand on her pants with a disgusted expression.

“We should have made sure you’re not able to embarrass them – and us – like that anymore. You’re lucky we have to leave now. Consider this a warning, carrot-head.” With that, she walks to the benches nearby, picking up a bag and something from the floor Felix doesn’t recognize before she leaves with wide strides.

_She’s right…she has to be._

For a few minutes, Felix just stays laying on the cold ground, holding his breath with tears running down his cheeks, making sure there’s no one around anymore.

With a pain-filled whimper, he eventually manages to stand up, even though every centimeter of his body seems to hurt. He sways but manages to catch himself on the wall behind him before he falls again.

Breathing hurts, moving hurts, _everything hurts,_ but he can’t stay here.

Stumbling to where he thinks he left his bag; his eyes widen as he sees nothing there anymore.

Whipping his head around, he tries to search for his bag even though the movement makes, even more, pain pound through his brain and he has to sit down before his stomach empties itself on the ground.

_Fuck…_

His eyes close in pain as he recalls the girl so casually picking up a bag and something else – his varsity jacket. She took it with her.

_Not his jacket, please…not that one…_

That was the last present he had gotten from Rachel, her present for his 18th birthday…and these people took it so casually…just like they destroyed his phone…

He whimpers, leaning his back against the tree and trying to will his racing thoughts as well as the boiling panic down as well as dimming the pain in his limbs and body enough to be able to think about what to do next.

Felix knows he has no possibility of telling his hyungs to come to get him – he has to try to find a way home on his own.

Even if…even if the distance to their apartment is far too much to be manageable by foot…at least not in a reasonable time.

But he ignores that thought for now. He has to get away from here.

So he stands up, swaying again and trying to will the world to stop spinning around him and ignoring the various aches in his body from all the placed they kicked him.

Biting his lip, he tries to suppress another whimper as his right foot comes down in a weird way and pain shots through his ankle.

_No. He can do this, he can manage this._

_He has dealt with injuries like this before. He can do it now._

So he starts walking, limping away from the location of today’s performing event and into the night towards where he thinks he remembers the way towards their apartment. Even though he knows he won’t make it very far in this condition.

It has to be much later by now, maybe even after midnight because the streets are silent. He only encounters a few people, but quickly hides in little alleys or the shadows of doorways before they come too close, so nobody sees his injuries and stops to question him.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed like that – an hour? Two?

Something in between that, probably.

What he knows is that he now is three steps away from fainting, there’s almost nothing he can do to ignore the pain in his ribcage, his head, his ankle, and his arms anymore.

Not to mention the constant dizziness and nausea swapping through him in steadily higher raising waves. As well as the coldness which makes goosebumps erupt on his whole body due to him still only being in a t-shirt, his teeth chattering loudly without him being able to stop it.

Leaning against another building wall, he squeezes his eyes together and sucks a deep, rattling breath into his chest, almost doubling over with a cry at the resulting pain.

The world is blurring at the edges as his eyes are fluttering open again, he hears voices from afar.

Wait.

Voices?

Voices mean people.

He can’t let them-

But before he can make a move to find a place to hide, his sight clears up again – and his heart stops the moment Chan looks his way.

Time seems to slow down.

Changbin is standing next to him in the entrance of the building, a cigarette between his lips – but it falls to the floor as he too catches sight of Felix leaning against the building wall so heavily.

A relieved smile stretches Felix’ bruised up lips. “Hyungs…”, he whispers, barely audible.

He doesn’t have to walk anymore, his hyungs found him.

He still sees their widened eyes, sees them running towards him, but relieving black drapes over his eyes, making him crumble to the floor before they can reach and catch him.

“FELIX!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos? Comments? *blinks innocently*
> 
>  
> 
> Also: I am in DIRE need of a beta reader. I know to some of you my writing might seem flawless and wonderful or whatever, but to me, it doesn't and I keep thinking that I'm missing something when I'm editing.  
> So.  
> If there's someone on here reading this story and you've found mistakes/things that don't make sense which I might have overlooked in the editing process (and mistakes I still make bc English still is only my second language), COMMENT PLEASE. Constructive criticism only, please! <3


	8. Peer Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He should probably be more worried. He just can’t find it in himself to stress. Stress means pain and from that, he has felt enough until now. Strange, cotton-like clouds are floating around in his head and he can hear voices he knows or that at least seem mostly familiar…so he’s probably safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO DEEPLY VERY SORRY FOR THE DELAY!!!! I'm so sorry, I hope you all can forgive me...*bows deeply*  
> Well, the pace of this semester has picked up a lot during the last few weeks and eh...yeah...I had to take sum more care for a few of my assignments and also applications for my year abroad and my internship semester. Urgh.
> 
> AALSO: I've found a beta reader!! Thanks a hecking lot, Bri, for going over this chapter and telling me where I went wrong and where I went right - the biggest thanks!  
> I hope you can still enjoy it, my lovelies and leave me some kudos and comments - I would really appreciate that!!  
> <3<3<3<3
> 
> (side note: it's been two days now since I had the pleasure of seeing Stray Kids live (if only for a few songs) and I'm...I still have to grasp it omg. I'll definitely get myself a VIP ticket if they come to my country again - I desperately want to meet them.)  
> (Sry for the little life side note, haha.)

 “…-im inside! We have to hurry!”

“You can go with the others … There’s not enough space.”

“Only one. … Hurry!”

“…drive behind?”

“….Jisung, Minho and …jin! I’ll … the ambulance.”

As he shifts in and out of consciousness, words drift through his muddled senses. The voices seem to be familiar, but he’s struggling to understand who they belong to... and what they’re saying.

_What’s going on…?_

Felix tries to look around, tries to see what is happening... but his eyelids are too heavy. He’s only able to flutter them open for a few blurry seconds before they fail him again.

He’s moving… something vibrates beneath him. The ground he’s laying on? Whatever it is, it feels too soft to still be the asphalt he broke down on.

Is he being moved somewhere else…? Who’s holding him?

He should probably be more worried. He just can’t find it in himself to stress. Stress means pain and from that, he has felt enough until now. Strange, cotton-like clouds are floating around in his head and he can hear voices he knows or that at least seem mostly familiar…so he’s probably safe.

Right?

His left hand feels warm. It’s not as numb as the rest of his body. It takes him a few minutes to realize that it’s because someone is gently squeezing it. He hears another familiar voice, choked with tears.

“ _Hang in there, Felix. I-it’s going to be okay. We’ll…you’ll be okay again in no time.”_

It’s English. He can tell… he can understand. But before he can even attempt to see who it is, his mind is overwhelmed by blissful darkness once more.

 

_“I don’t care why you did it! All that matters is that you’ve wasted too much of MY hard-earned money on him! The money that should’ve been used for us!” Felix shuddered at the horrendous sound of something hard against flesh. Against his mother’s flesh. He cowered in his hiding place as her scream echoed throughout the house. “Behind my back, you still continue to support that goddamn failure. How can you?!”  Breaking, shattering tableware and another sobbing scream; she stumbled and fell to the floor. “You traitorous whore!”_

_Blood slowly seeped through his mother’s blond hair, so much blood. She sobbed quietly, curling up and trying to protect herself against her husband’s rage, but she said nothing against what he threw at her._

_Felix felt like throwing up._

_On the tips of his toes, he tried to sneak away from the living room, away from what he was witnessing. His whole body was shaking, horror numbing his mind._

_He watched as his father grabbed the baseball bat leaning against the armchair behind him, breathing heavily and red-faced with anger._

_Painful, icy horror made Felix freeze. He couldn’t move, couldn’t turn away... could only watch the gruesome scene unfold, watched his father beat his wife until she didn’t move anymore, until the blood pooling around her stained the cream-colored carpet in a steadily growing red spot._

_He stumbled back, wanted to run away, but as soon as he moved away from the door, gave away his hiding place, his father looked up._

_“Yongbok.” Felix shuddered at the pure evil that was glittering in the eyes of the monster he once called father._

_He couldn’t remember a time when his father’s eyes had ever been this black. Like…like he didn’t have a single small piece of a soul left inside of him._

_Like he came straight out of hell to torment Felix’ life._

_Carelessly stepping over his dead wife, the monster grinned horrifically, swinging) the bat as he approached._

_“Let’s end this here.” His deep growling voice seemed to echo through the whole room, through Felix’ mind, through his trembling body. Fear made his heart spike up once again, made his breathing rattle in his chest. He stumbled as he tried to take another step back, away, away, just away._

_Why couldn’t he run away?_

_“You know…you should have never been born. You’re nothing more than a nuisance to this family… to this world.”_

_He charged forward suddenly, swinging the bat, intending to smash Felix’ skull in with it-_

_But something pulled Felix back into the darkness, the single moment before the bat collided with his head. He was falling, spinning, couldn’t tell what was up and what was down – until the world suddenly aligned itself again and Felix slammed into what seemed to be an invisible floor._

_A light appeared in the distance, barely a spark – but that spark was just enough to light up the darkness around him until he could at least see the silhouette of his hands again._

_Light in the darkness always means hope…right? The thought made him struggle to his feet again._

_He had to reach this light…no matter how small or how far away it seemed to be._

_With adrenaline and fear rushing through his veins, he started moving, trying to run, trying to get towards the light, but his efforts didn’t seem to be working – the light didn’t come closer._

_Instead, a shadow appeared in front of Felix, covering up the tiny spark._

_The shadow was bigger than him, flowing around in an undefinable shape and the only way that it could be recognized was because it was even darker than the blackness already surrounding him._

_Felix stopped, gasping for air._

_That shadow… meant nothing good._

_Panting, he spun around, trying to run into another direction, trying to get away._

_What was this thing? Why was it out to get him?_

_The sudden, chilling fear in his stomach made him stumble and almost lose his footing._

_“There’s no getting away. Stop running away.” A voice suddenly spoke up, distorted but almost sounding like someone he had heard before. Figures suddenly appeared around him, getting closer until they caged him in._

_“You don’t belong here.” He counted five before their faces shifted into ones he remembered all too well. One of the girls spat on the ground in front of his feet, her voice high and disgusted. “You don’t deserve to be in a dance team with Minho-ssi and Hyunjin-ssi.” He shut his eyes, tears welling up before he could stop them._

_“Just go back to whatever fucking country you came from!”_

_“We should have finished the job when we had the opportunity and silenced you once and for all.”_

_He tried to cover his ears, but the voices only grew louder._

_“Who would even like a selfish person like you? On top of that, you can’t even dance properly?! You don’t have a fucking place on this team! Why are you even here?”_

_Each sentence made another spark of fear and confusion light in his heart, each remark cutting deeper and deeper into his flesh._

_He couldn’t stop his breathing from picking up again as he stumbled back. He wanted to plead for them to stop saying such cruel things, but his voice didn’t obey him. It was gone._

_Why was this happening to him?_

_Suddenly, one of the shadowy figures lurched forward and struck Felix with a hard punch across his jaw, whipping his head back and making him crumble to the floor with a scream as the sharp memory of pain ghosted through his brain._

_Before he could even comprehend what had happened, they started shouting out insults and obscenities at him again. He had wanted, so badly, to forget everything they had said but now had no choice but to remember their cruel words._

_He tried to curl up, to disappear from their harsh words – but before he could do more than wrap his arms around himself, the ground opened up beneath him and he plunged again into the darkness._

_And he was falling, falling, falling inside the black._

_Nobody could hear him screaming._

_Faces appeared around him; faces he knew. Floating alongside him, slower than he was falling. Appearing and disappearing again._

_Chan. Jisung. Changbin. Hyunjin._

_Minho._

_Something like a window opened in the black tunnel Felix was falling through, giving away the view to what looked like Minho’s and Hyunjin’s room. They sat on the bottom bed together, Hyunjin reading a book._

_“You think Felix will get out today?”, he asked. He seemed so… nonchalant. Minho didn’t even look up from where he was painting his nails._

_“Nah. Won’t happen anytime soon, if I had to guess.” He sighed angrily and carefully fixed a nail. “Well, he got himself into that all by himself. We don’t need someone like that on our team.”_

_Hyunjin nodded, putting the book down with a sigh. “I guess he won’t take part in the next performance then.”_

_“No.”_

_Felix whimpered, closing his eyes. Minho’s words hurt…hurt badly and even more so because he knew he was probably right._

_The window closed after a few seconds and floated away, another one opening in the tunnel of darkness he was falling through after a moment, showing him a new, but achingly familiar, scene. Chan and Jisung, laying on the couch together and cuddling. It sent a spear of pain through Felix’ heart; he missed them._

_Jisung frowned a little as he lifted his head a bit. “You know what I just thought about?”_

_“Mh?”_

_“We…I feel like there’s someone missing here. We should be…the apartment feels so…empty recently.”_

_Chan chuckled, pulling him closer while gently untangling his messy black hair. “Daydreamer. Who could possibly be missing? Are the four of us not good enough for you?”_

_Wait. Black? Didn’t Jisung have blond hair?_

_“Yes- No, you are! I mean-” Shaking his head a bit, Jisung continued after a few seconds. “I…I mean I feel like there should be someone else living with us, it…it doesn’t…I miss…” He deflated suddenly, sinking back onto Chan’s chest. “I don’t know why I said that, forget it.”_

_Chan smiled gently, carding his hand through Jisung’s hair. “You’re just lonely, Sungie. I bet you just miss being in a relationship. You’ll find someone new soon, I promise.” The scene-window closed again and floated away, leaving Felix with a horrible empty feeling in his chest._

_They… they didn’t remember him? Not even a little?_

_Was his time with them that insignificant?_

_“You know…we can’t afford to let you live here anymore. You have to move out.” Felix jumped as Changbin’s face appeared suddenly in the darkness, expression neutral. His dark eyes bored into Felix’ own, almost black and as cold as the night. It was frightening to watch – it was exactly the cold Changbin Felix thought he would be when he first saw him. “We’ve had to deal with enough of you now. Don’t you think it’s time for you to leave?”_

_And as if his words alone weren’t enough to scare him into submission, Changbin’s disgusted and rapidly darkening expression was finishing the job, causing a terrible burning feeling to pierce his chest and spread through his limbs as he tried to reach out to Changbin and began to plead._

_“No, no, please let me stay! I…I don’t have anywhere else to go… please!”_

_“You don’t deserve a place here!” Changbin’s furious shout followed him as he continued to fall through the suffocating darkness, uncaring in the face of his agonized scream._

 

*

_ Fifteen hours later _

The door to the hospital room opens slowly, carefully, so it doesn’t make more sound than necessary. It reveals Jisung and Changbin, quietly sneaking into the room before Changbin closes the door again and follows Jisung to the already occupied bed standing in the middle of the room.

Another, smaller bed is positioned as close as possible next to it; a nervous Minho sits on it with his legs crossed, fingers fiddling absently with the fabric of his pants as Hyunjin watches him from his place on the other side of the occupied bed. The subdued conversation between the pair stops, both boys looking up to face the newcomers.

Hyunjin watches as Changbin approaches his side and rests a hand on his shoulder. He’s curled up on a chair next to the bed; his eyes are red and swollen, adorned with heavy bags from the tears he must have cried.

“Hey,” he softly whispers, leaning into Changbin’s touch as the elder’s hand lifts to gently card through his messy hair.

“Hey,” Changbin answers, just as quietly, afraid to disturb the fragile calmness of the room. He looks up to see that Minho has pulled Jisung into his lap, face hidden in the other’s shoulder.

He swallows, worried. It’s been a long time since the last time he’s seen Minho this…agitated.

A glance towards the bed he’s been avoiding answers his questions and exacerbates his fears. He tries to smoothen his expression, not wanting the others to see the emotions churning uncomfortably within his chest.

Instead, he speaks up with a voice as steady as he can make it. “How did it go? What did the doctors say?”

“He seems to be doing better…given the circumstances. He woke up once…an hour after the operation, but he didn’t seem to recognize his surroundings,” Minho answers after a tense moment, with a rough, if slightly muffled voice.

Hyunjin nods, clearing his throat. “He’s had a panic attack, ripped off one of his IV’s and…the doctors tried to calm him down, but it didn’t work and they…they had to sedate him again...” His shaking voice cracks at the end and Changbin soothingly rubs his neck to calm him down a bit even though his own blood turns cold at those words.

Minho nods but doesn’t lift his head to show them his face. A muffled sound echoes through the room and by the way Jisung turns in his lap to hug him even tighter, Changbin can tell he’s close to tears again.

He can’t manage that many emotions at once, he just can’t.

With a sigh, he lets himself sink to the floor in front of Hyunjin’s chair, taking his hand between his own and holding it carefully.  

He can’t see Minho and Jisung anymore, but he can’t think about that right now. For a few seconds, there’s silence in the room.

Minho’s hoarse voice breaks it again, ice cold and burning with hate at the same time. “I’ll kill them.”

“Right behind you, hyung”, Changbin immediately mumbles only for himself to hear, gently caressing Hyunjin’s fingers.

Hyunjin curls up further on his chair. “I should have never let him stay with Jinwoo…I thought…I thought it was okay…I…I thought we could…” A sob cuts him off and Changbin immediately extends his other hand to the dancer’s shaking leg and gently squeezes his ankle.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Jinnie. You couldn’t have seen it coming”, he whispers. Hyunjin looks at him with tears in his eyes, his lips quivering around silent sobs. A second later, he’s in Changbin’s lap, clinging to him like a koala and sobbing his heart out. Changbin blinks, a bit taken aback by the sudden attack, but he hugs him back tightly with only a few seconds of delay, hiding his face in Hyunjin’s hair.

After a few minutes, Changbin shuffles Hyunjin in his arms to make the transition from the floor to a chair, succeeding with minimal struggle. He continues to hold him gently, soothing his cries and trying to give him the comfort he so desperately needs.

More silence in the room.

“Do you know who did this?” Jisung’s voice is even more fragile than Hyunjin’s had been before. His cheek leans on Minho’s head, the two cuddled as close together as they hadn’t been since…probably since that time a few years ago where they rescued Hyunjin. Changbin knows that Jisung hasn’t left Minho’s side since he came home to tell them they found Felix.

“I…I think I know.” Minho briefly looks up, locking eyes with Changbin who swallows at seeing the dangerous glint in his gaze, almost shrouded by the immense pain – before his eyes wander to a sleeping Felix, laying on the hospital bed as still like a doll.

Too still.

This isn’t Felix. He has never been this still in the entire time that they’ve known the younger boy.

It doesn’t…it feels wrong to see him this immobile, fixed to a hospital bed.

Minho’s hand clenches to a fist, balling up the fabric of Jisung’s soft hoodie between his fingers. “It has to be someone from the dance class. And Jinwoo was certainly somehow involved with it. I saw him talking to Felix when Hyunjin came to get him.” He snorts. “And I am… _was_ friends with that sick bastard. I can’t believe it.” His voice sinks into a whisper again and he presses his face into Jisung’s shoulder, who wordlessly raises a hand to massage Minho’s neck carefully.

Changbin shakes his head slowly. “You’re not the one to blame about this, Minho-hyung. Neither you nor Hyunjin. It’s…scary to think about, yes. But hyung… Let’s not… make assumptions too quickly. I called the police when Chan went with the ambulance to get Felix here. Hyunjin…has already told them what he knows. They said they couldn’t do much until Felix wakes up and they could talk with him.”

He frowns, looking at Felix’ face; bandages around his head and a big adhesive plaster at his jaw, the bruise around his left eye fading slowly.

Changbin will never forget the deep horror, the unadulterated fear that ran through him when he and Chan found Felix outside their building, just in a shirt and trackpants, shivering in the cold, limping and covered in bruises, blood trickling from his nose. The way he collapsed, seconds before they could reach him…

He was able to push his feelings aside as he went to gather up the rest of their group and drive back to the hospital, but as soon as he arrived with Minho, Hyunjin, and Jisung about half an hour later, they came back in full force. He saw Chan in the waiting room – sunken into one of the cheap plastic chairs and violently biting his lip. He looked barely a step away from breaking down – which eventually did happen. Clinging to Changbin as both he and Minho held him close, he sobbed quietly as he told them the news.

Three broken ribs, blunt abdominal trauma with internal bleeding that required an immediate operation, complicated fracture of the right ankle, two broken metacarpal bones in his left hand, concussion because of stump impact and hypothermia.

Changbin wanted to throw up.

Apparently, Felix had still walked in this state, has gone from the venue they had been performing towards 3RACHA’s studio – yes, it wasn’t far away, maybe a walk of half an hour if you were fast.

But considering the horrendous state Felix had been in…It must have taken him over an hour, maybe even two just to reach their building.

And he has been walking alone, just with the light clothing he was  wearing after their performance.

_How has he even made it this far?_

Coming back to himself, Changbin tightens his grip around Hyunjin’s waist, clinging onto him just as much as Minho still clings to Jisung. He wants to sob, to cry, but chooses to hide his face in Hyunjin’s hair instead, dragging in a deep, shuddering breath.

“Don’t say you don’t want to avenge him too, Changbin,” Minho responds with a cold voice.

Changbin blinks, trying to remember what he has said for Minho to answer like this. “Of course I want to. But…you don’t really know if the guys from your dance class are really to blame. I’m not defending them, but…Let’s wait until Felix is well enough again to tell us what happened.”

He looks up and locks eyes with Minho again. “Whoever did this to him will get their punishment, believe me.”

“And you’ll both get your chance to beat those assholes up,” Jisung chimes in, face unusually serious with his eyes resting on Felix’ still form. His voice gets quieter. “No one hurts my brother.”

“ _Our_ brother, Sungie,” Minho reprimands him softly, but he still nods.

 

Minho is alone by the time the door opens again. Changbin has taken Hyunjin and Jisung home – partly because the nurse came about half an hour earlier, informing them that only one of them could stay overnight, the rest will have to come again during visiting hours tomorrow. And partly because Hyunjin and Jisung are on the brink of falling asleep again.  

Even if it’s not even that late… the sun is just setting outside the window. It looks beautiful…but he can’t bring himself to look at it for long though.

Somehow, he isn’t able to think of anything as even remotely beautiful if he’s sitting next to the hospital bed of his unconscious friend.

It doesn’t matter that he’s tired too. He can’t leave Felix.

Burning eyes fixed on Felix’ still form, knees drawn tightly to his chest and thoughts churning loudly in his head, he doesn’t look up as Chan enters the room, followed by Woojin.

“Hey, Minho.” His greeting is quiet, gentle, making the younger finally look up and lock eyes with him.

Something in Minho’s gaze must tell him everything his questioning eyes want to know because he walks over to the bed, makes him stand up and pulls him to his chest into a warm, all-encompassing hug. His special, Chan-exclusive-hug.

Minho stiffens with a surprised sound before melting into Chan’s arms. He closes his eyes, slowly raising his own arms to hug Chan’s middle and hide his face at his shoulder. Too many feelings he can’t really name start to crowd together right in the middle of his chest, making him release a choked-up sob into Chan’s sweater.

He…he needs comfort right now.

Both of them probably do.

Woojin steps forward after a few seconds and hugs them both. The warmth of his arms makes Minho swallow thickly, pressing closer to Chan.

After a few seconds, they step away from each other again, Chan quickly rubbing at his own eyes to wipe away a few tears. He swallows. “How… is he doing?”

Minho hesitates. “He didn’t wake up… but he seemed to have had nightmares a lot. He moved on the bed, but didn’t open his eyes… I think… he’s at least not unconscious anymore.”

Chan nods slowly, walking towards Felix’ bed and sitting on the chair next to it with a quiet sigh.

Woojin watches him before he turns to Minho. “You need sleep, Minho-ah. You stayed here the previous night during his operation, and I doubt you’ve slept much until now.” His voice is quiet, gentle, caring. Soft.

Minho doesn’t want soft right now… it just may make him start crying again. He swallows, looking away. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Woojin sighs, pulling another chair next to Chan and making Minho sit down on one of them before crouching down in front of them.

“Everything is going to be okay, guys”, he gently reminds them, taking both of their hands and pressing a kiss to Chan’s. “I…I know I wasn’t there to see what has happened, but… Chan and I talked to the doctors before we came here. He’s going to wake up soon.” He takes a deep breath and Minho thinks he’s probably more shaken than he lets them see.

_It’s Felix they’re talking about after all. He has managed to get so damn close to them all in the span of only a few months…as close as a brother._

“The culprits will get what they deserve. Be sure of that.” Woojin’s normally kind, dark eyes bore into Minho’s and watch him for a bit with a stern seriousness Minho hasn’t seen very often on the elder. “And Minho…I know you. I know you want to make them pay – but you will leave them to the police. You won’t do anything you regret afterward. Understand me?”

Minho snorts, looking away. “Can’t promise that. I want their heads for what they’ve done to Felix.”

“Minho!” Even Chan seems to be shocked by that. They all know Minho is protective of their younger friends, but…that he would go this far…

Minho laughs, short and without humor. “Relax, I won’t do anything.”

“I sure hope so,” Chan mumbles. He exchanges a glance with Woojin, communicating through a single glance before the elder nods with a sigh and stands up again.

“I’ll go get us some coffee.” With that, he leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him. Chan stands up and carefully sits at Felix’ bedside, gently smoothing strands of his orange hair – Jisung has helped him re-dye it recently – off his forehead and swallowing at all the bruises and bandages around his head. Minho watches him silently.

“ _Come back to us, Lixie… to me,”_ Chan whispers softly, a stray tear dropping onto his sweater. He turns to Minho again after a few seconds, but the younger can’t bear to look at him right now.

He looks away, hands clenching into fists.

“Minho.” A pause. “Tell me what went down at the performance. When…why did you two…why did we find him alone? I was worried something could have happened to you two too since…since…” He shakes his head, sighs. “Studio work. Anyway.”

Minho swallows. “Hyunjin talked to Felix, went to get him…I saw him standing with Jinwoo, that guy we sometimes create our choreographies with. It looked like they were in a good-natured conversation and making friends and… so… Hyunjin and I… left without him.”

Thoughts threaten to overwhelm him again and he leans forward to bury his face in his hands, realizing he could have stopped all of this. “I should have never left… if we would have stayed, this wouldn’t have happened… I’m so sorry-” He breaks off as he feels tears rise to his eyes.

“Minho, neither of you could have known this would happen.” Chan’s voice is gentle. “It’s okay. Felix is out of danger now… he’ll be okay.”

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t trust his voice to be stable enough. Anger and hurt are swirling around inside of him – anger at himself for agreeing to leave without Felix, cold burning anger at the bullies that hospitalized him and hurt… for once again being reminded that they almost lost Felix.

A sigh sounds through the silence before the bed rustles and quiet steps approach Minho. He peeks out from between his fingers. Chan smiles softly as he crouches in front of him, hands gently rubbing over his thighs in calming, wide circles.

“I don’t blame you. Just know this. None of us do – and believe me…” His smile disappears as he looks back to their unconscious friend on the bed and a determined look takes over his face. “As soon as Felix is able to tell us who beat him up… you best believe there’s no getting away for them. I’ll find them”

“But… you just said-“

“I know. I partly agree with Woojin on that too, but truth is that I know I won’t be able to sleep calmly again until I know that they’ve gotten what they deserve. And what they deserve is the same fate they gave our brother. I know Changbin is with me on that. So…” He extends a hand for Minho to take as he looks back at him, a dark glint in his eyes. “We’ll make them pay.”

With tired red eyes, determination and something that feels achingly similar to fear, Minho nods and grips Chan’s hand, holding on to it like it’s the lifeline that keeps him afloat in the see of his confusing emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big hugs to all! Tell me what you think, pretty pleeease <3


	9. Dragon Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix wakes up.  
> Everything's gonna be alright...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I seem to have fallen completely out of my schedule. I hate myself, oof.  
> And idk if i'll be able to upload next week since i'll be in Island for a study trip - but i'll try to update as soon as possible. I even have the most of next chapter already written since it was once part of chapter 9 but i had to split it since otherwise it would be tooo much.  
> But i hope y'all still enjoy this one here and leave me sum kudos n comments! <3

The sun is gentle as it rises in the morning, slowly brightening up the inside of the hospital room and making Chan sigh as he looks up from his phone.

He’s been awake since…well, a few hours probably. He doesn’t even really know if he really fell asleep during the night. It could be possible, but it could have only been for one or two hours before dreams about finding Felix’ dead body and the screams from his friends ripped him from his sleep again.

With a small groan, Chan turns on his back, rubbing his burning eyes a bit before he stares at the white ceiling of the hospital room.

The silence bugs him, rubs him wrong. He’s not used to the silence anymore.

He turns again and stares at Felix, lying still on his back, his hands gripping the fabric of the blanket spread over him.

_He’s probably gonna wake up soon._

With a gulp, Chan rises from the small bed he has spent the night on and steps next to Felix’ bed, carefully sitting on the space left on the mattress and smoothing Felix’ hair out of his forehead. He doesn’t miss how the other’s brows furrow at the contact.

“ _It’s gonna be okay, Felix_ ,” he mumbles quietly, pulling his hand back again. “ _We’re here for you…We’re always gonna be.”_ It feels right to talk in his mother language right now…it brings him closer to Felix. If that’s possible.

He gets ready to get up again, ready to get to his own bed to wait for some time longer – as Felix’ eyes flutter open.

Chan freezes, the thoughts in his mind screeching to a halt.

Deep, amber eyes, fuzzy with tiredness and the effect of the painkillers stare up at him for a few seconds before he has a chance to comprehend that Felix is awake.

_Felix is awake._

_Felix is awake._

_Felix is awake._

“Hyung…?” The younger’s deep voice is raspy, clouded with vulnerability and confusion.

It finally makes Chan able to move again.

“ _Oh my gosh, Felix…_ ”, he chokes out as he leans down slightly to take Felix’ non-bandaged hand into his own, kissing it briefly, a breathless laugh on his lips. “ _I’m so glad you’re finally awake_.” The relief he feels almost makes tears rise to his eyes again.

Fuck, he thought it would take so much longer...

Felix blinks up at him, his hand twitching a bit in Chan’s hold. He looks away from Chan and around the room for a bit, taking in his surroundings with furrowed brows and slowly blinking eyes. “ _Where…how did I…_ ”

“Changbin and I found you”, Chan explains quietly, standing up to instead crouch next to Felix’ head, still holding his small hand in his own. “ _We brought you into the hospital. They had to…had to do an emergency operation, your injuries were…quite serious_.”

Felix’ eyes snap shut again, his hand twitching violently again as if he wants to pull it back against his chest again. His lips press into a tight line as he nods a little bit.

_Memories coming back again?_

Chan watches him, unsure what to say next. He breathes out a sigh before putting on a small smile, his thumb drawing gentle circles on the back of Felix’ hand. “ _But…I’m glad you’re awake again. I…We missed you_.”

He doesn’t know what else to say, the strange tingle of helplessness keeping a hold on his tongue even though he keeps the smile on his face.

Felix peeks an eye open again to look at him and Chan swallows hard at the way it glistens, at the disbelief and the urge to believe Chan, fighting for dominance in his glance.

“ _I…I missed you too.”_  A hesitant smile allows itself to appear on Felix’ lips after a few more seconds, dulled by the painkillers but it still makes something inside of Chan melt into warmth and relief.

He stands up. “Do you think there’s a place for me on that bed of yours?”

Felix blinks, confused because of the sudden change of language and bites his lip. He hesitates for a few more seconds before answering. “I guess…”

He scoots a bit over to make more room for Chan – but doesn’t get far before he stops with a hiss of pain, clutching his chest. “Ahh, _fuck…_ ”

Chan cringes a bit in sympathy. “Be careful with your ribs.”

Felix nods as he seems to have calmed down again, face turned away as Chan carefully lowers himself on the space on the bed next to him, lying down. He bites his lip and his expression makes Chan want to know everything about what has happened the night before yesterday, but he holds himself back.

_Felix just woke up; it won’t be a good idea to ask him about that just now. And…he doesn’t even know if Felix wants to really talk about it._

That doesn’t change the fact that he’d like to see his face. He missed it.

“Hey… _Lixie._ ”

The nickname makes Felix’ head snap around to him, staring at him with wide eyes.

Chan smiles and opens his arms. “If you aren’t hurting too much….how about some cuddling?”

Felix bites his lip, contemplating. Feelings are fighting for dominance in his gaze again before he nods slowly and shuffles back and closer to Chan again until his back is gently pressing against the elder’s chest.

One of Chan’s arms rests under Felix’ head, serving as a pillow for the younger and the other one is gently drawing patterns on his left arm, down to the cast on his hand. He feels goosebumps erupting on Felix’ arm at the feather-light touch.

“How long…was I out?”, Felix asks after a few minutes of silence, voice rough and quiet.

“Almost two days,” Chan answers just as quiet. “The rest of the boys also missed you like crazy. Minho stayed here the night before…they’ll probably arrive here in…” He turns to look at the clock on the wall. “…in the afternoon – or probably only Changbin, Woojin and Minho since Hyunjin and Jisung have to go to school.”

Felix nods before reaching behind himself and grabbing Chan’s left hand, quickly squeezing it with his non-injured one while he simultaneously snuggles his head more against Chan’s bicep. A small sigh shudders his frame and he refuses to show Chan his face. “Chan-hyung…thank you for…for…”

Chan waits patiently, slowly, gently interlacing his fingers with Felix. He can almost hear the violent thoughts raging in his head.

“For being here”, the younger finishes with a whisper. His voice is so quiet, so vulnerable and fragile that it breaks Chan’s heart. It’s so unusual to hear him like this – and it makes him want to punch something (or someone – preferably those buttholes responsible for robbing him of his sunshine) even more.

They’ve managed to throw Felix to how he has been behaving when they all met for the first time - scared, timid, quiet. Chan only hopes...hopes they can bring back the happiness in his gaze.

The thought that all it took was a under an hour to lock away all this sunny behavior again...

He swallows down his feelings and gently squeezes Felix’ hand again. “I’ll always be here for you, Felix. And I’ll always…I’ll always wait for you. I’m not gonna leave you behind. Never.” The sincerity in his voice even surprises himself a bit.

A shuddering breath shakes the small body in his arms and a few seconds later, Chan feels the sleeve of his sweater getting wet with tears.

_Fuck, if that makes him burst into tears already..._

But he doesn’t comment on it, only presses a gentle kiss to Felix’ head and squeezes his hand again.

“T-thank you.” Felix’ whisper is almost inaudible, but Chan still hears it and he has to bit his lip hard to not break into tears himself.

_For you always, aegi._

 

Half of the rest of their group enters the hospital room around afternoon again, after a message from Chan that Felix would be discharged this afternoon and they could come to take him home again.

Felix is cuddled up against Chan again, his eyes half closed. The medicine still wears him down and he seems to be sleeping - but Chan sees him flinching slightly at the sound of the opening door.

Minho and Changbin quietly walk into the room, together with Woojin.

And the way Minho’s knees buckle, the way Changbin has to keep him from falling and his eyes go wide as he sees Felix’ eyes looking at them, a small smile slowly growing on his face…it looks dramatic, but it just makes a tearful smile on Chan’s face appear as the elder dancer rushes to the bed.

_Minho has been the one with probably the biggest soft spot for Felix…he took him in after all._

“Felix…oh my God, Felix…” Minho drops to his knees and reaches out to gently cup Felix’ face in his own. A tear runs down his cheek, but it doesn’t take away from his gorgeous, relieved smile.

Felix hesitantly smiles back even though Chan can feel how his body tenses at Minho’s touch.

He frowns a bit at that. Since when is he not comfortable anymore with one of them touching him?

_Aftermath of what happened?_

_So much what they don’t know._

“Hey Minho-hyung,” he whispers.

“I’m so glad you’re awake again…I missed you so goddamn much.” A breathy laugh slips from his lips and with a last brush over Felix’ cheek and a gentle kiss to his forehead he pulls back again and stands up. He doesn’t seem to see how strained Felix’ smile looks or how he visibly relaxes again.

Changbin steps forward, a gentle smile on his lips. “Glad to see you awake again…can you try to sit up? The nurses had said you could come home with us.”

Chan sees Felix hesitating, biting his lip as the word ‘home’ leaves Changbin’s lips, but he still nods, moves to sit up with a few groans of pain. Chan stands up too, hands hovering close to Felix‘ body if the other needs any kind of help.

But he manages to stand up on his own, gifting Chan with a small smile as he realizes how close the other stands to him. “It’s okay, I can stand on my own.”

Chan nods slowly, a bit surprised at his words before Changbin handles Felix the crutches he’s been carrying under his arms.

Woojin has been quiet until now, offering Felix his gentle smile before coming up to Chan and slotting himself against his back, bringing his arms around his waist. “How did you sleep?”, he asks quietly.

Chan huffs before caressing Woojin’s hands, watching how Minho and Changbin quietly talk with Felix and Changbin goes to help him change into some new clothes. He suddenly feels the weight of the last two days crashing down on him and leans into the hug with a sigh.. “You know me. Bold of you to assume I’ve slept at all.”

Woojin snorts a bit. “Yeah, how could I.” He pauses. “I won’t have time to stay for long today sadly, but it’ll be enough to get you to nap for a bit with me. And I’ll make you some dinner before I leave. How does that sound?” He gently kisses the skin behind Chan’s ear.

The younger sighs, leaning more against Woojin. “Better…now that I know Felix is somewhat safe with us.” A pause. “And dinner from you sounds heavenly.”

“See.” Woojin grins. “I’m sure Felix will be up and well in no time again. The boys will help him with that.”

“I hope so…”

*

After another conversation with the doctor responsible for Felix, the group leaves the hospital with new painkillers, new instructions on how to care for his injuries and with the promise to take it easy and refraining from physical activity – dancing – until his broken bones are healed again.

Felix pouts, but accepts his fate with a defeated sigh.

The ride home is filled with chatter, the guys talking with Felix and updating him with all the funny details and stories from school what has happened while he was out – everybody does their best to not talk about the elephant in the room, about the night where Felix lost his bright smile.

Minho tries his best to join in on the conversation but watching Felix…watching him pretend like Minho wouldn’t be sitting next to him…hurts.

That behavior shouldn’t surprise him that much since he knows – or thinks he knows – what he went through, honestly, but…doesn’t he think he was safe with them? With him? Because by the way he almost flinches away from every touch, by the way he averts eye contact, by his monosyllabic answers one could think he wasn’t feeling that way –  and he downright even refuses to look at Minho, amber eyes averting quickly again when meeting his own.

_Is there something he did wrong?_

He bites his lip as he watches Chan’s hand draw small, reassuring circles on Felix’ uninjured hand, smiling softly whenever Felix gives out whispered, small answers to every question directed at him.

_He’s the only one who’s touch Felix isn’t avoiding..._

Minho sighs, looking away. He can’t help it…he knows Felix most probably has his reasons why he’s avoiding him like this but knowing this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.

He’d have to talk to him later about it…they all want to talk to Felix. Ask him who really did this to him, who was responsible for the insane hurt he had to go through.

Even though he already has someone under suspicion.

A few someones.

But maybe…this has to wait. Asking for confirmation, asking if he’s right has to wait. Maybe the wounds are still too fresh. Maybe…it still pains him too much to talk about it.

So Minho has to contain his anger and wait.

 

It’s almost dinner time when they arrive – which means that Hyunjin and Jisung are at home now as well.

_Well, they probably still went home as early as they could – as if one of them could stay in school while worrying about Felix this much._

Minho snickers a bit as he hears them scrambling for the door, rushing footsteps echoing as the group enters their apartment.

_Yep, they’re definitely home._

“Felix!”

Jisung’s shout makes Felix flinch and he stares at the other two people of their group as they surface in the hallway, his face white.

Oh shit.

None of them has any time to prepare himself as Jisung runs towards them, towards Felix – luckily, Minho catches him almost roughly with his arms around his torso before he can jump-hug Felix.

_Shit…that could have ended badly._

“Motherfucking idiot, don’t you see he’s walking on crutches?!”, he hisses. Adrenaline is pumping through his veins, adrenaline from seeing that brief glimpse of naked, unadulterated panic in Felix eyes at Jisung running at him. He may be angry and frustrated because he doesn’t understand why Felix is ignoring him like this, but Hell would freeze over before he lets him get hurt again.

Even if that means he has to be mean to one of his other friends.

Hyunjin stays behind in the middle of the hallway, his figure frozen in shock. Jisung looks up at Minho with wide eyes at his cursing, then at Felix who looks back at him like he’s seen a ghost. Both of the almost-twins are shaking, their eyes linking before Felix’ wide eyes turn to Hyunjin who swallows, taking a few steps closer before freezing again.

The tension in the air is suffocating, Jisung’s voice shaking as it breaks the silence.

“Oh my gosh, Lix, I-I’m so sorry…”

“I…I…”, Felix stutters before looking back at their equally shocked elders. He clamps his hand in front of his mouth to muffle his flying breathing, his crutches cluttering to the ground before he limps away as fast as he can.

“Felix!” Chan reaches out to catch his uninjured wrist, but Felix shakes him off with a sob clawing its way out of his throat, almost stumbling at the imbalance the move causes him. He throws a look back at them and Chan gasps in shock at the terror in his wide and tearful eyes, making him freeze in his track.

“ _Leave me alone!”,_ he almost shouts, causing all of them to flinch harshly at the words. A few seconds later, the door to his and Changbin’s room slams shut.

The resonating sound vibrates through Minho’s bones.

Shocked silence is the only thing he leaves behind.

Chan looks like he may burst out in tears or break down at any second now, as so do Jisung and Hyunjin. Minho himself…doesn’t know how to feel. It’s…too much and not anything at all.

His chest wants to cave in on itself and his head feels numb and too full of racing thoughts..

Catching a glance at a frozen Changbin and the emotions raging on his face send a pang of something he can’t quite name through his chest and he feels like he can properly breathe again.

Eventually, Woojin swallows, walking towards Chan. “I…I’m gonna start with making dinner. If you need us, we’ll be in the kitchen.” He takes Chan’s hand and pulls him with, the younger following willingly and with a last, somewhat lost glance at the rest of them.

Changbin and Minho exchange a glance. All three of their youngest are quite upset now, but they…they don’t know if it would be a good thing to enter Felix’ room right now.

_So…taking care of the other two first?_

After a silent conversation between the both of them, Changbin walks towards Hyunjin and pulls him into a gentle hug, starting to whisper words Minho doesn’t quite catch.

He takes this as his sign to let go of Jisung, only to grab his hand and pull him towards his own room. He hesitates in front of his own door before sighing and turning down the hall to walk towards Jisung’s room.

Chan’s room lies between Felix’ and Jisung’s which means…they are able to talk without hearing Felix crying.

Minho hates himself for that thought, but it’s better like this. At least for now.

Jisung clings to him as soon as they’re both positioned on his bed.

“I’m…I’m so sorry for running, hyung,” he whimpers into Minho’s chest, shaking. “I didn’t…I’d never want to hurt him like that…I was just so…”

“Shhh, I know Sungie,” Minho sighs while he cards his fingers through Jisung’s hair. “I’m sure he knows too. And I…I shouldn’t have talked so harshly. It was just…” He hesitates. “Too much at once. Kind of.”

Silence after Jisung nods meekly. They stay in their position for a few more minutes before Jisung looks up, locking eyes with Minho. “I…I hope he’s ready to talk with us…later on.”

“I hope so too…”

 

Exhaustion and crying for too long eventually makes them fall asleep, tangled with each other like that. Woojin has to gently shake them awake by the time he’s done with dinner.

Minho’s stomach turns at the mere mention of food, even though it must have been six hours or more since he last ate something.

The thoughts in Minho’s head still feel too muddled, too cloudy, but he still follows Jisung and Woojin out of the room down into the kitchen where Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin are already seated. They quietly talk with each other, Changbin holding Hyunjin in his lap.

Chan looks up as they come closer. “Hey…” He dares to smile a little, probably to lighten the somewhat heavy atmosphere in the room. “Did anyone check on Felix?”

Woojin sighs, coming up to sit next to him while Jisung and Minho take their place next to Changbin and Hyunjin. “I did. He hides under his blanket…it looks like he sleeps though. I…haven’t heard any sounds indicating a nightmare.” He bites his lip.

Chan nods, leans forward to lean his head on Woojin’s shoulder. He stays quiet for a while before turning to Minho, casting quick glances at Hyunjin.

“How are you two holding up?”

Hyunjin looks up from his plate and blinks in surprise at being addressed. He shares a glance with Minho before swallowing. “I…guess similar to you?”

“I just want to know why he shied away from me so much during the trip home,” Minho mumbles, chopsticks picking away at his food with no real interest to eat it.

“He probably feels guilty, Minho”, Changbin answers him, biting his lip. “I don’t know what went down last night, but…you two were with him and-“ He cuts himself off, eyes getting unfocused for a few seconds before he shakes his head, sighing and not knowing what else to say.

Woojin sits up a bit straighter at that and places his chopsticks next to his bowl. “That can be, but we can’t be sure of what he thinks until he tells us. And I’m sure he’ll do that eventually.” He looks at each one of them and smiles gently, doing his best to convey the calm feeling of security that makes him say these words with such conviction.

“Don’t worry, guys. Everything will be alright.”

*

Changbin wonders how far Woojin can see into the future to see the day where everything would be alright again because...

Right now, things seem to only be getting worse.

For the next three days, the apartment’s normal sunny and loud atmosphere changes into something silent, suppressing, dark.

It doesn’t sit right with any of the boys.

Felix is missing even though he’s right there with them – his laugh, his sparkly eyes are missing. And it makes all of them realize how much he has lifted their mood during the time he has been living with them and how much they depend on him to raise their spirits again after a particularly gloomy day.

_Pathetic. Dependant. All of them._

But it doesn’t really matter because it’s Felix. It’s okay.

They’re afraid to leave him alone during the day even though he keeps on hiding away – Woojin has to force Hyunjin, Jisung and Minho to leave the house for their classes, he takes time off work to be able to stay with them longer.

He does his best to bring Felix to do the exercises the doctors have prescribed him to for his ribs to get better more quickly. He tries to talk to him…they all do, but Felix shakes his head, bites his lip and stays quiet.

He still refuses to let himself get close to Hyunjin and Minho and Changbin notices the waves and waves of guilt swimming through his eyes whenever he looks at them and thinks nobody notices.

_What exactly made him develop such feelings when looking at his two dancer friends?_


	10. Hoodie Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears are shed, stories are told, confessions and promises are made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay, for not posting for two weeks, aaah.  
> For those who have been waiting for the fluff...this is the fluff, I guess? You tell me.  
> Wishing you much fun with this chapter - I'm sorry if it's a mess with dem many italics...didn't see another way to uh...enhance the different speeches, lel.
> 
> Thanks for still staying with me! <3 love y'all!

Changbin stays home too on the second day. His rap parts on the new mixtape are already recorded so Chan allows him to miss out on this studio session, tells him to call him immediately if he needs something and if something happens that requires the two of them to arrive home immediately.

If he’s honest, Changbin is grateful to be able to stay because he wouldn’t be able to come up with anything useful if he were required to sit in the studio again.

He even doubts that Chan and Jisung will.

This evening, Changbin dares to go back into his and Felix’ shared room again after not having entered it since they brought Felix home from the hospital. He grabs his pillow and lets himself sink to the floor next to Felix’ bed.

The younger is sleeping again, face turned towards Changbin, brows furrowing and small whimpers escaping him in his nightmare. The display of vulnerability, of the fear on his face and the tears in the corners of his eyes...the sheer sight of it makes a horrible ache race through Changbin’s heart.

_What he would give to take these nightmares away from him...suffer through them himself if it means Felix gets to sleep peacefully again..._

With a sigh, Changbin reaches up to smooth his fingers over Felix’ creased forehead.

The touch makes Felix snap his eyes open, a small scream on his lips as he recoils from seeing Changbin’s face so close to him.

Changbin himself flinches at the strong reaction.

For a second, both of them are frozen in their spot, staring at each other with wide eyes.

_This fear in his eyes...will it ever disappear again?_

He doesn’t know.

Eventually, Changbin gets himself together again and smiles shakily, determined to not let Felix see how much his reaction has scared him. “It’s just me, Lix...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...that wasn’t very sensible of me.” He slowly draws his still raised hand back to place it in his lap.

Felix bites his lip, eyes still wide as he nods a bit while moving a bit more away from Changbin, turning to face away from him.

Changbin’s heart breaks and he has to swallow down the hot burn of rejection in his chest.

“Please don’t turn away from me, Felix…”, he whispers, almost desperate.

He scoots closer to the bed, reaching out and carefully smoothing his hand down Felix’ arm. “Lix…you’re…whatever bullshit those…those guys that beat you up…whatever they told you – it’s not true. We’re…we all are waiting for you. You’re our sunshine, our brother, our… I…we all love you.” His voice breaks at the last word and he squeezes his eyes together to avoid the tears from falling. “So, so much.”

Drawing his hand back again, he clutches his pillow to his chest as he watches Felix’ trembling form.

_What if talking to him only...only hurts him more? What if...what if he’s only making it worse with every word he’s saying?_

Changbin almost sobs at the thought.

He just wants to help...

“Please talk to me”, he whispers. “We need you, we...it isn’t the same without you. We’re not the same without you.”

Felix’ only answer is to curl up further in his blanket, even though Changbin can hear the quiet whimpering he’s probably trying to silence.

_He’s crying._

_Probably because of you._

And his heart breaks again. He doesn’t know what to say anymore.

Turning his eyes away, he bites his lip before slowly standing up from the floor, casting a last glance at Felix while tugging at the black strands of his hair. “I’m sorry...I won’t be...I...I’ll leave now.” Deep voice choked with tears, he makes his way to the door, stopping again just before he leaves the room.

“I just want you to know...we love you. We all love you. So deeply...especially Minho and Hyunjin. You might think otherwise, but...they do. Please...please come back to us.”

With that, he quietly leaves the room, in search of a place where he can just curl up and cry.

*

The door closes quietly behind Changbin, but to Felix, he also could have slammed it close in rage and it wouldn’t have made any difference.

More sobs are tearing through his body, the emotional pain adding to the dull, yet somewhat piercing pain in his chest.

_You made him cry._

_He’s crying because of you._

Dragging a deep breath into his chest, he desperately tries to calm down, tries his best to silence the poisoning thoughts in his head, but they won’t shut up completely.

Felix can hear the other boys moving around in the apartment, talking to each other – but through the blanket and his room door, the voices sound muffled and barely audible.

Almost as if they’re not really there.

He stares over to Changbin’s bed, almost choking on the knot in his throat.

Trembles still shake his exhausted body, his throat aching from crying so much.

_Has this been the tipping point now?_

_‘Best bet they’re gonna kick you out soon. Maybe that’s even what they talk about right now? Safe to say that it’s what they should talk about.’_

Felix presses his eyes shut, rubbing at his temple and trying to fight the panic rising at these words.

No, no, they’re not. They won’t kick him out. They…they have to care for him, right…? They wouldn’t have brought him to the hospital and…Chan wouldn’t have waited at his side for him to wake up or to stay so close to him – regardless of what a disgrace he is.

_‘Ohh, a disgrace you are, indeed. Ever thought about the fact that they must have felt guilty for leaving you on the streets? And that’s the only reason why they took you in?  I mean they’re good persons – unlike you are. They’re much too good for you. They can’t let a bad person live with them for much longer.’_

Right…there is a spark of truth in these words.

He swallows and curls himself further up under the blanket, not caring for the dull pain in his chest and his broken limbs.

Someone will come in again at some point of this day...and Felix doesn’t want them to. Doesn’t want them to tell him that his days here are limited, that he has to leave as soon as he’s healed again.

_‘They were limited from the start, sweetie.’_

“I know…,” he whispers, flinching as the door opens and pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

_No, no, don’t come in..._

If he doesn’t deserve to be around Hyunjin and Minho, why would he deserve to be with the rest of his friends?

Changbin has called him ‘brother’, but…he couldn’t have meant that seriously, right? There was no way they were thinking….there was no way he was that precious and important to them.

Right?

The click of the closing door and footsteps slowly coming closer tugs him away from his thoughts, he stiffens as another person sits down on his bed with a deep sigh.

He doesn’t know who it is...but if he had to guess...either Woojin or Chan because that sigh sounded like the person would carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and that...is only the case for both the eldest from their group.

_Stop those nonsense thoughts._

_‘Remember, you’re also the cause they carry such a heavy weight on their shoulders.’_

“Felix...” He’s right, it’s Chan.

That makes him pull the blanket even higher over his head as the anxiety sparks once again.

_What is he about to say?_

A sigh.

“Changbin just came to me...I’m guessing that he was here before me. Maybe I’m overwhelming you by coming to you so soon after he has left your room…. and to be honest, I don’t even know where to start. _I…I don’t even…I want to ask you so many things. Even though I kind of can imagine how painful this must be to you. We all want to know who did this to us…because this can’t stay without punishment.”_  

Felix flinches slightly at the words. Do they really…deserve punishment when it’s…when it has been something he has to have done to anger those people so much?

Why else would they have attacked him so out of the nothing?

_‘Yes, exactly. Definitely has been all on you. Finally, you see it.’_

Chan must have heard the small whimper slipping from his lips because Felix feels him leaning to the side, enough to be hovering over his curled-up body.

“Lixie…?” The nickname, laced with worry and concern makes Felix grip the blanket even tighter, determined to not let Chan see him when he wants to fall apart like this.

_When did he even start using the name only his sisters have reserved for him?_

He doesn’t care that the air under the blanket is stuffy and hot – it’s what he deserves either way.

He’s tempted to ask him to go again, but the words won’t leave his mouth, knotted up and twisted, they clog up his airways and prohibit him from speaking.

_‘Coward.’_

After a few more seconds, Chan sighs and straightens himself again.

“Okay, uh… _you probably don’t want to talk to me – I can understand that. You don’t have to. You can just…”_  He hesitates, rustling is heard as he moves to sit at the foot end of the bed. _“You can just listen to me. I don’t know how much this will help you to open up about…about what exactly happened and who beat you up, but…yeah.”_

He takes a deep breath.

Felix is a bit surprised by his words – he has to admit this much. He has thought Chan just came to announce that he wouldn’t stand Felix making his roommates cry, Felix just using their space, not giving anything back and that it’s enough now.

But...he just wants to talk to him? Just wants him to listen? What is he going to say?

As Chan continues to talk, the words carrying the familiar accent of his home, Felix’ grip on the blanket loosens a bit.

He doesn’t really want to admit how much he’s missed hearing Australian English.

“ _I think I’m gonna tell you…how I became friends with those idiots in our apartment._

 _Changbin, Jisung and I formed 3RACHA maybe…a year ago? We just…met when I’ve been renting that one studio, where we now spend most of our days in. I was there almost every day, just working on music on my own. They still were quite new to that producing stuff and at some point, I went to help them out with their music. We bonded quickly over our similar interests and agreed at some point to…to just work together on a mixtape and release it. It worked quite well. So…3RACHA was born.”_ He stops briefly, maybe running through memories.

_“I met Minho and Woojin maybe around that time at our University. Minho was a grade below us while I had a lot of classes with Woojin…I fell in love with him at…I don’t know the exact time anymore. But I…once I came close with them all, I cared for them like my own siblings. They are my family._

_Minho was quite cold at first actually, didn’t want to get closer to us – out of fear. Fear of us leaving one day probably.”_ He shuffles a bit and Felix stares at his hands before making a decision and slowly pulling the blanket from his head and risking a shy glance at Chan.

He sits with his legs drawn to his chest, arms around his knees. The smile he sends Felix is a blinding one even though he looks deadly exhausted.

_Nothing new for Chan, probably._

“There you are. _Do you…do you want to hear more?”_

Even though he feels guilty for keeping Chan here, keeping him away from his well-deserved rest, Felix nods slowly after a second of thinking. “Please,” he adds quietly.

Chan draws in a deep breath before continuing. “Okay, so… _Minho wasn’t that close to us at first – but that has changed once we found Hyunjin.”_ His smile dims and he looks onto the blanket. _“If we would have come to that bridge a bit too late…”_  He shakes his head quickly.

_“We didn’t know who it was that we had saved that evening – but Minho insisted on taking him home and giving him a place to sleep. He…didn’t want to leave Hyunjin alone. When he was getting better, Minho started to teach him how to dance…and Hyunjin never turned his back on them again.”_

_‘An even bigger reason why you don’t belong to these two! They’re much closer without you - they have history without you!!’’_ The voice in his head, ever-present since he woke up in the hospital room, cackles menacingly. It sounds an awful lot like his mother.

Felix does his best to shove that sentence back where it came from and not let Chan see the trouble on his inside. He even tries to smile as his hands tighten their grip on his blanket again.

Chan looks down on his own hands, smiling a little before looking at Felix again and holding his gaze. “ _I don’t want you to think we took you in out of pity…okay, it maybe was a small part of it, but…Minho and Hyunjin genuinely wanted to help you. We all wanted to. Me especially after that…after that talk with your sister where you told me what has happened in your home…Felix, you’re our baby brother. We’re here for you. No matter what happens – that won’t change. I promise you.”_

Felix blinks, trying to process Chan’s words. He breaks eye contact with Chan to stare back at Changbin’s bed, at his hands and the blanket as the thoughts roll around in his head.

His breathing speeds up a bit.

So…maybe…if they haven’t left Minho when he was afraid of letting them close for that reason…maybe they also won’t leave him? Maybe they...they’ll stay and help him?

‘ _Don’t be so sure of that.’_

Felix ignores that voice before turning to Chan again.

The elder smiles softly before standing up. “I’ll be in my room in case you want to talk to me. Don’t walk without your crutches again – your ankle needs enough rest to get better again.” With that, he leaves the room.

Felix turns on his back, arm thrown over his eyes as he tries to swallow down the lump in his throat.

_They are always so gentle with him, so caring...Does he deserve this?_

He wants…

He needs…

He doesn’t know what he wants. Or needs.

*

It’s around midnight by now, a few hours after his talk with Felix and Chan decides to go to bed early for once. It’s not like the thoughts in his head and his worry for the younger boy will let him sleep much either way, but...a man can try.

He’s lying in his bed, the small lamp next to his bed and his smartphone the only light in the room as he aimlessly scrolls through various kinds of social media, trying to distract himself from the chaos in his head.

_Was it right to tell him how they found Hyunjin? Was it right to tell him this much about Minho? Even though he has talked with Hyunjin about that before...of how much he can tell others...he’s still scared it was too much._

By the way his head snaps up as soon as he hears the door opening, he knows his intention to distract himself didn’t bring him very far.

Light oozes inside from the hallway as a small figure slowly and quietly sneaks into his room and by the way the person is limping, it must be Felix.

_He really came over...does that mean he’s ready to talk?_

“You shouldn’t walk around without your crutches, you know that,” Chan scolds quietly before putting his phone away and standing up, walking over to him.

Felix looks at him with big eyes before looking away with a shaky sigh. “I...didn’t want to make more noise than I already did...the others are probably sleeping already,” he mumbles as Chan helps him walk to the bed and they both sink down on it again, Chan gently pulling Felix against his chest.

He chuckles briefly. “You don’t have to tiptoe around the house that much...but it’s sweet that you care about not waking the others.”

_Even though he doubts that any of them is finding restful sleep these days._

Felix hums and rests his head against Chan’s shoulder. His voice sinks into a whisper. “I’ve worried them enough already…”

“No, no, don’t think about that. Don’t feel guilty because of that.” Soft lips gently press a kiss to orange-bleached hair and for a few minutes, silence fills the room.

Chan realizes the other indeed came here for a reason as he starts fidgeting in his hold, worrying his lips between his teeth and shyly glancing up at him.

“I’m here to listen,” he reassures him gently, tightening the grip on his shoulders for a bit.

Dragging a shuddering breath into his lungs, Felix nods before he starts to speak, his eyes locked on the golden light of Chan’s night lamp.

“I...I’ve been talking with someone...after the performance. Jinwoo. He seemed nice...I even had fun during that conversation with...also a few other dancers, they weren’t from our class.”

Chan watches his face closely, seeing the way his eyes glaze over and squeeze shut every few seconds. With a few reassuring words, he tangles his fingers into his hair.

Felix sighs into the contact and it seems to give him the strength to continue

“Hyunjin...came and said he wanted to get home because...but Jinwoo convinced him to go home with Minho alone...I was...I didn’t want to hold them back, I knew leaving in the middle of a conversation wouldn’t be polite…and I _had_ kind of...fun talking to them.”

_Oh, baby…_

“And…” He pauses again. “I can’t remember their names, but then...a few...they...they destroyed my phone and took all my things and-”, heaving in a gasp, he shudders, “-even Rachel’s jacket…”

And for some reason, these words suddenly make him burst into tears.

Chan blinks in shock and gulps, pulling Felix even closer towards himself and gently rocking them both a bit to try and comfort him. “Shhh, Lixie, it’s okay. We’ll get you back everything they took from you. Don’t worry about that.” Another small kiss to Felix’ head.

The younger whimpers, visibly trying to calm himself down, but not succeeding as everything else suddenly breaks out of him.

“They...they...kicked me so hard...I was on the ground, they called me pathetic and undeserving of being in a...dancing with Minho- and Hyunjin-hyung...they…my dad...” A gasp of pain interrupts him, Chan’s hand gentle on his back.

“Shhh, baby, gentle breaths,” he whispers, trying to not let the boiling anger and shock he feels show on his face. Felix’ hurting ribs are more important now; those harsh sobs wrecking him must be even more painful with his injuries.

After a few more minutes, Felix seems to have calmed down enough to tell him more.

“I thought I never would have left Australia,” he whispers, barely audible. “After that, I couldn’t understand much more of...what they were saying...But maybe...they were right and I never should...never should have come to Korea...maybe it…”, his voice quiets down even more, but Chan still hears his next words and they hit him like a trainwreck.

“Maybe...one of the girls said they should have finished the job...maybe they really should have…”

“Lee Felix, don’t you ever dare to say that again.” The steel in Chan’s voice even surprises him himself and his heart hurts from the way Felix flinches and looks up to him with wide, fearful eyes.

_I’m gonna fucking kill them._

Every single inch of his body itches to violently punch something - or someone - to a bloody pulp, but he has to restrain himself.

Or else, he will be the one Felix is afraid of.

Chan gulps and reaches out with one of his hands, gently cupping Felix’ cheek. “Don’t you...don’t you ever dare to say that again, okay? We need you,” he whispers. “We love you. All six of us absolutely adore you. We...those…” He shakes his head, his voice cracking. “I couldn’t bear it if something more would have happened to you.”

Felix looks away from his burning gaze, his eyes filling with tears again. “Do you...do you really mean that?”

A disbelieving laugh slips from Chan’s lips, a traitorous burn in his own eyes. “ _Of course I do! I...fuck, you’re a brother to me...to us by now, Felix. I already told you that we’re...that I am here for you. Forever. I won’t leave you behind. None of us would be able to take it if…_ ” He shakes his head again.

Felix dares to look at him again.

“How…” He swallows, looking down on Chan’s chest he’s laying on. His voice is so fragile, so vulnerable that it sends a spear of white-hot pain straight through Chan’s heart. “How did I deserve all of this? Why...why?”

“Lixie, you’re the...the sweetest person I know. The gentlest, kindest, most caring, adorable, most talented young man I’ve met.” He pauses. “And I say this being Woojin’s boyfriend.”

Felix chuckles briefly before looking up at him again. “I...you know, I feel like...I’m always only...taking something from you all...I’m not able to give anything back.” Helplessly, he shrugs, biting his lip to stop new tears from coming. “Why should I deserve your friendship...of you all...when I’m only...taking…? Never giving something back?”

_Okay, time to talk some sense into him._

Chan sighs softly, pulling Felix upwards to press a kiss against his forehead. “Felix, if you would know how much you really give us back - you’d be surprised.” He locks eyes with the younger, making sure to share all the fondness and adoration he feels with his gaze.

“This house doesn’t feel the same anymore without you. You give me, Changbin and Jisung so much motivation to continue with 3RACHA, you built us up when we’re once again so down, so exhausted from everything, even if you’ve been spending so much time at the studio with Minho and Hyunjin - and don’t get me started on those two. Minho...Minho _adores_ you. Hyunjin is gushing about your dancing abilities almost every time I ask him to come to the studio. He clings onto you almost every second he gets the chance to. Your smile...ahh, your smile is able to lift even the darkest of our moods. You’ve been giving us so much since you came into our home, Felix - and we’re so happy to provide you with even more because I’m so eternally glad you escaped the nightmare at your home to come here. Please, never worry about how you’re not able to give us anything back - you give us so much more than we could have asked for. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Felix stares at him with wide, shiny eyes before he collapses onto Chan again, arms around his neck hugging him tightly while he sobs into the elder’s shirt, not caring about the pain he surely must feel. “ _Th-thank you,_ Chan-hyung…”

With a tearful smile on his own, Chan hugs him back.

They stay like that for a few minutes before something comes to Chan’s mind again. “Was...was that the reason why you were behaving so distantly towards Minho and Hyunjin? You felt like you didn’t...didn’t deserve their attention and friendship?”

Shyly, Felix nods, face still hidden in Chan’s neck who smiles softly. “I’m...I’m still scared. I hurt them so much…”

“Shhh, we’ll talk to them tomorrow - but for now...let’s sleep. I’ll be watching over you.”

 

By the time the door to Chan’s room opens again, Felix is asleep against his chest and Chan is also halfway to dreamland. It’s been a long day and he needs his rest - but the opening door means someone needs him a bit more right now so he forces his eyes to open again and stare at the door to see who might need his advice this late.

It’s Minho.

_Oh._

Slowly turning over to turn on his night lamp, Chan waits until Minho has closed the door and comes at his bedside, crouching down next to the two of them.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up again…” Dark brown eyes quickly lock with his own in apology before they land on Felix. He sighs, the exhaustion in his face too visible as his expression softens. “But the thought of him doesn’t let me sleep. Did he talk to you?”

Chan nods a bit, biting his lip while gently carding his fingers through Felix’ hair. “He did.” His voice turns to steel as he recalls what those assholes said to Felix. “And you were right.”

“Huh? With what?”

“He mentioned a Jinwoo. And a few guys - and girls - he was talking with. He doesn’t remember their names, but maybe he can give you a description tomorrow.” Deadly determination fills his gaze as he looks at Minho.

“Once we know who we’re up against, Changbin, you and I will make them pay.”

“Before the police get them,” Minho agrees and nods grimly, tightly gripping Chan’s raised hand with his own.

A promise is made over Felix’ sleeping body - a promise to never let anyone hurt their maknae like this ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sum kudos/comments? ^3^


	11. Small Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot can happen in two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just...finished 3/4ths of this chapter in one sitting - which means almost four hours. In which the Google Docs tab crashed exactly three times. My mind crashed two times, but that's okay.  
> Oof...I've wanted to upload already two days before to get back into my schedule, but I'm now realizing it doesn't matter anymore since this technically is the last chapter of this fic. Waaah, I've made it again! (okay, it's not completely the last chapter, but the last chapter will be more of an epilogue thingy with a time jump into the future. It probably also won't be as long as this chapter - but knowing myself, I still end up writing 3k or 4k words bc I can't just write short things. But as long as you guys like it, I won't stop it.)
> 
> A BIG BIG THANKS ALREADY TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT A COMMENT ON HERE!!! I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOU'RE THE REASON THAT KEEPS ME WRITING! <3<3<3<3
> 
> (special shoutout to artsy_lix, hotelcortez, Reading_Queen and Shiro_Darkness for commenting so constantly!! Hope I'll see you all in a future fic again!! <3)

Minho is glad Felix finally talked to somebody...finally told someone what really happened even if that someone wasn’t he himself. It’s probably been easier for Felix to talk with Chan either way...shared mother tongue and all.

It’s morning. They all have a busy day ahead and once again, breakfast is the only time where they can sit together and just talk with each other.

The atmosphere now seems a bit lighter than the last few days - not by much since there are still many things that need to be solved for the warmth to come back to their table, but it’s a beginning.

And Minho can feel the change as he looks around, watching the others while eating one spoonful at a time from his bowl of cereal. He’s still too tired to take part in the hushed conversations - fortunately, the others seem to understand and leave him be.

Noises at the kitchen door cause him to look up again, he blinks as he sees their latest group addition slowly walking into the kitchen.

“Felix”, Changbin breathes, a relieved smile on his face.

With a shy smile, the youngest walks over to the table and sits down on the free chair next to Minho, placing his crutches next to him. “Morning”, he greets them quietly. Tiredness makes his eyes blink slowly and Minho can still see the dried tracks of tears on his cheeks. He hasn’t seen them when he went to Chan the day before; the talking must have taken a huge toll on him if they’re still this visible the morning after.

The quiet, yet enthusiastic greeting of the others pulls Minho from his mind again. Woojin stands up, walks over to Felix to squeeze his shoulder lightly. “I hope you’ve slept somewhat okay.” He smiles gently. “Anything you want to eat? Anything I can bring you?”

“Just cereal, hyung, it’s fine”, Felix answers, meeting Minho’s glance briefly with a cautious smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, there are still some walls up behind them...but again, it’s a beginning. It makes Minho feel warm to know that Felix is smiling at him again.

He blinks shortly and remembers to smile back with a few seconds delay.

_Is everything going to be okay again?_

Soon, the conversations pick up again, but Minho doesn’t listen to them anymore.

He watches Felix instead. Subtly.

Sees how the other puts his spoon down after only a few bites and coughs a bit, catching everyone’s attention. He blushes as everyone looks at him again and shrinks into himself before straightening up again.

“Everything okay, Lix?” Chan’s brows furrow a bit in concern.

“Yes, I just…” He turns to Minho, big amber eyes full of regret. “Minho-hyung, I wanted to say sorry for how I behaved towards you during the last days. And also…” His gaze wanders to Hyunjin and Jisung, a strangled sound leaving his lips at the sight of their wide, questioning eyes. “I-I’m also sorry for what you...for what I’ve put you through and that I...that I pushed you away.”

His eyes meet Changbin’s, he hunches into himself a bit, chewing on his lip. “And I also want to apologize to you, hyung, for pushing you away...I want to apologize to you all.” He looks down on his hands, swallowing.

For a few seconds, he’s silent, like he wants to collect his thoughts.

Minho blinks, opening his mouth to say something. He’s surprised, to say the least.

_Felix shouldn’t have to apologize, really…_

He looks over at Changbin.

The rapper leans forward a bit, his eyes fixated on Felix and his expression a mix between vulnerable and furious and Minho can already guess the storming thoughts raging in his head.

His own are pretty much the same.

“Felix…”

“The...they’ve said…” He shakes his head, tries again. “I wasn’t...fuck.” With a shaky sigh, he burrows his head in his hands.

“Take your time, Lix”, Woojin softly, gently, says.

“I didn’t...still don’t really...I...you’ve done so much for me and I can’t give you back as much as you would deserve. What...I don’t quite know what purpose I serve here. I just... _I don’t deserve being your friend._ ” He sniffs a bit, his last words only a whisper but still they make Chan suck in a sharp breath.

Felix continues before he or an agitated Jisung can jump between his words.

“I know-...Chan has talked to me about this. What I wanted to say...why...I thought...I thought it would be easier if I distance myself and you would send me away once I’m okay again...it would hurt less.” He gets quieter and quieter towards the end, curling up in the chair he’s sitting on.

Minho’s head is swimming.

“What...who made you think we would even think of sending you away, Lixie?”, he quietly asks, leaning towards Felix to put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing slow circles with his thumb.

Felix stiffens under the contact but slowly relaxes again after a few seconds. He looks up, dozens of emotions passing over his face with his lips opening and closing as he locks eyes with Minho before he eventually looks over to Chan, pleading. “Hyung…”

Minho follows his gaze, a bit confused.

Chan furrows his eyebrows, contemplating before he sighs. “The...the dancers who beat him up told him he wouldn’t deserve being in a team with you two.” He looks at Hyunjin, then at Minho who sucks in a sharp breath. “And even...even not being friends with all of us.”

A collective gasp rings around the table and Minho can see Changbin’s hand tightening around the table’s edge.

“That’s so not true”, he whispers, standing up and walking around the table to crouch next to Felix’ chair, taking his small hand into his own as Felix looks at him with teary eyes.

“You deserve everything, Felix”, Changbin continues, the sincerity burning in his gaze. “You...most of the time we’re not even sure if _we deserve you_ being here, but I’m so glad you are and...if you believe those fuckers and think we don’t love you to the moon and back, we’ll be so very glad to prove you wrong.”

Felix stares at him with wide eyes before swallowing. “Th-thank you, hyung.”

“You deserve the world, Lix”, Jisung continues quietly, leaning over the table to put a gentle hand on Felix’ own. “Please remember that. And you sure as hell deserve to spend every minute you can with us - and those two idiots.” He jerks a finger in Minho’s and Hyunjin’s direction.

“Hey!”

“Watch how you talk - I’m your hyung!”

But he isn’t really angry, because the words bring a small laugh out of Felix and it’s something he could kiss Jisung for.

 

Breakfast is over and everyone gets ready to leave the house.

Minho has also left the kitchen and just is about to go back to his room to get his stuff - as the sound of Felix’ crutches and his tentative voice calling out to him softly stops him.

He turns around, blinking a bit confused. “Everything okay, Felix?”

“Yes, I...I just didn’t want to talk about it with the others present - I’m not sure if I would have been able to to...tell them this, but…” He takes a deep breath and walks closer to Minho until he’s able to lean against his chest, letting the crutches clutter to the floor and hug him with a breathy sigh.

“You can tell me everything”, Minho answers quietly and hugs him back gently. “Who do I have to kill?”

“Hyung!” Felix draws back to look at him in shock.

It makes Minho laugh a bit. “Kidding, kidding. Jokes aside, what’s on your mind, Lix?”

Felix stays silent for a few seconds, chewing on his lips with his eyes cast on the floor.

“Do you...do you know the dancers we danced with... that night?”

He nods. “Almost all of them.”

Felix takes a deep breath and looks back up at him, voice trembling a bit but his expression determined. “I need...I can remember their faces a bit, but not their names. Can you help me?”

Minho nods again with a small smile on his face. “Of course, Lixie.”

 

“Chan.” Minho stops the elder once he’s brought Felix back into his room and tucked him under the covers.

“Yes?” Chan turns around, in the middle of shrugging on his jacket. His eyebrows lift at the serious look on Minho’s face. “Did something happen?”

He shakes his head. “No...well, Felix talked to me and told me...I know their names.” Quietly, he lets them slip out into the cool air of the hallway.

_Lee Jiyoung, Yang Seongmin, Hwang Daejung, Han Eunji, Park Minji._

Looking into the hallway quickly, Chan nods as he sees none of the other guys. Still, he steps closer to Minho. “Did you recognize any of them? Do you know these people?”

“Yes.” He quickly looks down on his phone, a dark smile stretching over his mouth. “They all go to our university. I even remember seeing Minji and Seongmin in a few of my classes. If Minji is the one who took Felix’ things with her, it will be easy to…” He hesitates, pursing his lips like in thought. “... _convince_ her to give them back again. Or I will just...get them myself. Even if I have to break in somewhere.”

Chan snorts, an amused smile on his lips. “Don’t do that. We don’t need to get in trouble with the police. But other than that, feel free to do whatever you deem appropriate. Changbin and I will see what we can do - and maybe we can start something against them online.”

Minho snickers. “Speaking of online - I just remembered something. I once overheard a conversation where Seongmin stated that he’s a big fan of 3RACHA. He’s been doing some choreographies to your songs.”

“Really?” Chan’s smile gets dark as he cracks the knuckles of his fingers. “Wonderful. We can work with that.”

 

Minho knows they have to tell the police what they know.

Minho also knows what they did today probably is - was - wrong, but he can’t bring himself to care. Besides, he has made it more than clear to Minji - as well as Seongmin and Jinwoo - what would happen if any of them do something like this again or dare to tell anyone that they’ve been threatened.

But telling the police can wait another day.

Felix can’t muster up the energy to go to the police station today anymore...it probably has been enough of a drain to give Minho the descriptions of the five students.

So, the group huddles together in a movie night at the end of the day, making sure to put the youngest in their middle, cuddling him and coddling him - while minding his still healing injuries - and doing their best to prove him how much they love him.

Minho dares to smile as he gently cards his fingers through Felix’ locks, the younger sitting on his lap, his head tucked under Minho’s chin as he watches the movie with sleepy eyes.

Looking up briefly, Minho’s eyes meet with Chan’s and they both exchange a smile.

Minho doesn’t regret what he has done.

The only thing he has been able to feel was satisfaction, a feeling that lasted until he arrived home again, knuckles bloody, bruises on his jaw and a black eye. He’s glad Felix hasn’t been able to see him like this - he was in his and Changbin’s room and Chan the only one who saw his bruises and went to patch him up, a bit shocked about seeing another one of their group hurt.

After a short explanation, Chan still chided him for being so careless and getting himself hurt, but Minho could see the glint of his eyes as well as the small, satisfied smile he gave Minho after patching him up.

He didn’t tell Minho about what Changbin and he came up with. Minho also didn’t question the bruises on Chan’s hands and knuckles. He already knows where they come from.

They just looked at each other and nodded in silent agreement.

The sound of Felix yawning and his warm breath hitting Minho’s skin brings him back into the present and fondly, he smiles down on their youngest.

“Sleep, Lix. We’ll be here when you wake up”, Jisung whispers from where he’s leaned against Minho’s left shoulder, warm eyes flitting over to smile at his near-twin.

“Mhh”, Felix mumbles and moves his bandaged leg a bit until it drapes over Jisung’s and Changbin’s lap again and cuddles more against Minho’s chest.

“ _G’night_ ”, he sleepily murmurs and not even five minutes have passed until his breathing has evened out against Minho’s neck.

Something squeezes his heart at the sight and it must have shown on his face because Changbin snickers quietly next to him.

“Oh my gosh, hyung, you’re so _whipped._ ”

“Don’t talk like you’re any different, Changbin”, Minho retorts without looking at him.

“Excuse you, who isn’t whipped for him.”

“Truer words haven’t come out of your mouth in a while, Sungie.”

“Hey!”

*

He doesn’t want to.

_He has to face them again._

He has to tell the police what he told Chan…

_But he doesn’t want to...He CAN’T._

_Having to recall the pain and all the words that cut like knives..._

They need to know everything.

Still. That doesn’t make the thought any more bearable and Felix feels himself shaking in panic as they sit in Woojin’s red car on the way to the police station.

He doesn’t really realize it until there’s a hand gently squeezing his own and Chan’s calming voice next to him.

“You got this, Felix. See? We’re all here at your side and we won’t be leaving until you want us to. Minho and I will come with you once they want to ask you about...everything.” Another gentle squeeze. “You got this.”

Felix feels a bit less numb as he looks around the car, meeting eyes with Minho and Woojin in the rearview mirror and Changbin and Chan in the back, next to him and smiling gently.

He almost wishes Hyunjin and Jisung would have been able to come too...but Woojin’s car has only five seats and...if he thinks about it...maybe it’s enough that the elder hyungs are here now.

Shakingly breathing in, he nods slowly. “Yes...thank you, hyung.” He tries to smile.

Changbin reaches over Chan and places his hand above their interlaced fingers. “You got this, Lixie. We believe in you.” Another squeeze, together with a smile. “Our wonderful, brave Felix.”

“‘m not brave…”, he mumbles and looks away, blushing.

“Yes, you are. You’re the bravest, Felix. The bravest kid I know,” Minho announces from the front seat and smiles in the rear mirror for them to see.

And maybe it’s not true and Felix really isn’t that brave, but his hyungs make him want to be brave.

_You can do this. You got this._

 

The room they’re called in is empty except for a table and two chairs.

Felix slowly lets his wheelchair roll towards the table. (The hyungs have insisted on taking the wheelchair with him they got from the hospital so he won’t put too much of a strain on his injured hand by walking on his crutches. Felix hates feeling this helpless, strapped to a wheelchair, but there isn’t much he can do.)

Chan and Changbin sit down on either side of him and it isn’t long until the door opens and a man enters the room. It looks like he’s not completely unfamiliar to Chan because he straightens up with a smile and leans towards Felix to whisper “Officer Hwang. We’ve talked to him a few times during the last days. He’s nice.” Felix nods and they all get up a bit hurriedly to bow in greeting.

Officer Hwang shallowly bows in return. He’s probably around forty, a bit shorter than Chan, sparse dark hair, a pair of slim-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. A blue shirt with the police emblem on it stretching over a wide belly. He carries a clipboard with a few pieces of paper on it, his eyes quickly scanning over the three of them as he closes the door and walks over to the table before sitting down with a small grunt.

“So...Good morning”, he begins as he sets the clipboard on the table and watches them with a smile, eyes kind. “It’s nice to see you again - especially because I have good news to give to you.”

His eyes land on Felix, and his expression softens as he seems to notice the nervousness in his gaze. “Everything will be alright. We’ve caught the culprits - they looked quite beat up when we brought them in. I have a feeling why, but I’m not gonna ask more about that.” A stern gaze lands on first Chan, then Changbin before it returns back to Felix and softens again.  

“There will be no need for you to give testimony since we know the culprits now and already have a statement of one of them..”

He searches briefly through the papers on his clipboard. “A girl named Park Minji arrived at the station yesterday and told us everything. We have no reason to doubt her statement since it mostly corresponds with what Mr. Seo already told us. I just need you to confirm the truth of these statements.”

He flips another paper around. “So...She and another girl named Han Eunji as well as three boys named Lee Jiyoung, Yang Seongmin and Hwang Daejung cornered you after the end of their last dance performance when you were alone. Is that correct?”

Felix nods shakily. “Yes.”

“This encounter resulted in injuries with varying degree of severity - and now, it will take a while until you’re able to continue your dancing classes. Correct?”

Squeezing Chan’s hand under the table, Felix nods again. “Yes.” Until now, he hasn’t thought about the fact how long it will take him to get back into dancing again...and he doesn’t want to start thinking now or else he will break down in front of the officer.

Officer Hwang seems to be satisfied. “Alright.” He finally looks up at Felix again. “Is there anything you want to add? Anything Miss Park may have left out?”

Felix takes a deep breath. “They...they destroyed my phone and also stole my bag and the belongings that I brought with me for the performance night.”

Casting a small glance on the boys next to Felix, Officer Hwang nods and quickly juts down a few notes. “We will see what we can do about that, but I can’t promise you that we’ll get your belongings back.”

A bit defeated, Felix looks down and nods slowly. “I understand.”

Changbin seems to sense his growing uneasiness and his fingers start to rub gentle circles in the skin above the splint on his left wrist.

“So - this will be enough to have all of them give up their university place and for the guys to spend a few weeks behind bars. We will see. At the _very_ least, their families will have to pay up for what these students did.”

Felix doesn’t listen to his words anymore after that.

The world seems fuzzy as the officer asks Chan - as Felix’ legal guardian - to sign a few papers and then, he and Changbin take him outside again where Minho and Woojin are waiting. They’re walking to their car to get back to their home again.

_He should be happy._

It went more than wonderful, didn’t it?

_He didn’t have to recall or retell every single detail of that horrible night._

_If he’s being honest...he’s not even sure if he remembers everything correctly._

Words from Minji, Eunji, and Seongmin mix up in his head, mingling with the voice of his father and uniting in a cacophony of screams telling him how worthless he was...is.

Shaking his head quickly, he tries to get rid of that thought.

It’s over now.

_Isn’t it?_

He has talked to the police officers, he has survived the questions - even if there weren’t that many of them, and he now knows he won’t be seeing those guys ever again. And if he does, his friends will take care of them.

_Then why does he feel so...so drained? Why does he feel like two seconds away from crying?_

He doesn’t really listen to what the others are saying. Understanding anything that isn’t English now becomes difficult anyway and he just wants to curl up against someone or something...and cry until he has no more tears to give.

 

Felix is a bit surprised as he sees the giant nest of blankets in the living room as they arrive home again - dozens of blankets spread on the floor, covered with even more pillows and more plushies than Felix has ever seen flying around in their apartment.

The couches are pushed to the sides to make more room and Jisung is seen in the middle of the nest, spreading out more blankets on top of some of the pillows. The sight slowly lets his urge to cry subside again, but he’s still exhausted. He just wants to flop down on that sea of blankets and pillows and sleep for three eternities.

“What’s the occasion?”, Woojin asks with a hint of amusement as they all stop in the door frame to the living room.

Startled, Jisung whips around to stare at them with big eyes before a smile breaks out on his face. “Hyungs! You’re back!”

He stands up after rearranging his current blanket once again. “Well, Hyunjin and I thought we could have a sleepover in here, in the living room again...not just like the movie night we did yesterday but like...all of us sleeping in here in a pile because…” His gaze lands on Felix and how he clings to Chan and he smiles gently, his face expressing nothing but gentle fondness. “I...I guess we need it.”

Chan looks down on Felix too, making him blush as the elder lets out a small chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, Sungie. Where’s Hyunjin, though?”

“Showering! And I’m almost finished, you guys can get ready for sleep already. I’m also going to make some snacks!”

“Wow, you decide to do all the work for once? What a first.” Changbin’s voice is teasing, bringing out a laugh from the other guys. Even Felix can’t resist and smiles a bit.

 

The sun is setting outside their windows, her golden light illuminating the sight of seven boys laying in a giant cuddle pile on all the blankets and pillows, quietly talking to each other. Quiet, relaxing music dribbles from one of the speakers next to the TV, accentuating the calm atmosphere.

“Will you two be taking part in the next street performance of your university, Minho?”, Woojin asks eventually, his head leaning on Chan’s chest while simultaneously cradling Jisung against his own.

Minho hums from where he lies with Felix, Changbin cuddled against his back. “Felix is out of order so we’re one man down, but...we as students have to participate even if our team isn’t complete, so...I guess, yeah. We’ll do choreography as a team of two.”

He meets Felix’ eyes who lies in Hyunjin’s arms and smiles gently at the slightly scared expression in his eyes. “Don’t even think about that this means you won’t be a part of our team anymore, Lix”, he whispers.

Felix blushes. _Is Minho able to read his mind?_

Certainly not. But that’s kind of what he’s been thinking.

“You’re gonna visit the performance as part of the audience - yes, we want you to”, Hyunjin continues with a smile. “We’ve talked to teacher-nim and you’ll be able to watch the performances from the sidelines until you’re okay to dance again - there’s not a single problem with that. You won’t be getting any disadvantages or anything, don’t worry. We’re just...since we also have to finish assignments and all, we’re gonna continue as a two-piece team until you’re allowed to dance again and you’re able to do all the choreographies with us..”

Felix nods slowly.

_They won’t leave him behind. It’s only until his legs and arms are working well enough again to be able to dance again._

“Can we also come?”, Jisung pipes up, his head lifting until Minho and he can exchange a glance.

Hyunjin lifts a surprised eyebrow. “Don’t you three have studio work to do?”

“Actually…” Chan hums a bit, playing with Woojin’s hair. “We’re as good as done. I’ll be able to upload the mixtape soon. So, if we’re allowed to, we’ll come with you guys.” He smiles. “Been a bit too long since I’ve seen you at your performances anyway.”

Felix shifts a bit as he feels Hyunjin’s arms tightening around him.

Minho can’t really hide the smile in his voice. “Of course you’re allowed to. We’d be extremely happy if you came.”

“Then it’s settled.” Chan’s words make Jisung fall to Woojin’s chest again with an excited yelp, drawing out an almost pained gasp from the elder.

For a few minutes, silence drapes over the group, only broken up by the faint music weaving its way through the air.

“I’m curious to see what you’re gonna come up with”, Felix whispers, fingers playing with the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt.

_He smells nice._

“I’m curious to see if you like it”, Hyunjin retorts with a smile before starting to draw circles on the back of Felix’ shirt. “It’s not much until now. The next performance event is still quite some time away and we probably don’t have to add that many new elements to what we already have.”

“Besides…” Minho’s hand comes up to gently scratch through Felix’ hair, making him sigh at the attention. “You’ll probably still help us develop the whole thing - we need someone who watches if we’re in sync, who tells us how the choreography fits together and by now, I trust you with that more than teacher-nim.”

Felix’ eyes go wide and he turns his head a bit to stare at Minho. “W-what?”

“Don’t look at me so shocked.” Minho chuckles. “It’s just that you seem to always exactly know what kinds of elements are missing in the dance and what makes it look more put together and all of that. You just…” He shrugs. “You know, you just fit with us, Felix.”

_You just fit with us._

_You just fit with us._

“King of sap”, Changbin suddenly remarks from behind Minho and it makes all of them chuckle as Minho hits his leg with an indignant huff.

More silence for another few minutes where Felix can hear the thoughts race each other around in his head.

“Ahh, I knew there was something we’ve forgotten.”

Huh?

Felix looks up in confusion to see Chan struggling to get to his feet, carefully stepping over Minho and Changbin to leave the cuddle pile. “Where’re you going?”, he asks.

Chan sends a soft smile in his direction. “Just forgot to get something - be right back!”

With that, he quickly leaves the room.

Even more confused, Felix looks at the others, but he doesn’t find the same emotion in any of their faces. Fondness, tiredness, yeah, but no confusion.

_Do they know about something he doesn’t? What’s happening here?_

Luckily, it doesn’t take long for Chan to come back again, hands holding something behind his back.

He enters the pile again, but stops to crouch in front of Hyunjin and Felix, patiently waiting until both of the younger boys are sitting, Hyunjin still attached to Felix’ back like an overgrown koala.

 _“I have a present for you.”_ With those gentle words, he shows what he’s been hiding behind his back and-

It takes a few seconds for Felix to recognize the clothing item in Chan’s hands.

But once he does, his eyes go wide like saucers and he gasps, small hands shakingly lifting to grasp the varsity jacket. “You got it back…”, he whispers.

“Minho also got your bag. With everything still inside. We will give it to you tomorrow - but for now, there’s something else we all wanted to give to you.” Chan looks around and meets the eyes of everyone in the cuddle pile before reaching in his pocket again.

Felix watches him cautiously while cuddling Rachel’s jacket against his chest. “You didn’t have to…”

“But we wanted to, Lixie”, Hyunjin assures him gently, carding his fingers through faded orange locks.

Chan takes a deep breath, he looks kind of nervous. “Your phone was irreparably broken once it was found - so...we kind of got you a new one.”

And with that, Chan pulls out a small box from his pocket and hands it to Felix.

_They got him a new phone...what???_

With suddenly violently shaking hands, the younger takes it and opens it slowly - and at the sight of the new phone, he has to suppress a sob.

It almost looks like his old one - only in...new.

_How much money did they spend on this…?_

He decides that he doesn’t really want to know.

On one hand, he’s immensely happy about the present because it means he gets to talk with Rachel again and he can text with his hyungs if they’re not around - on the other hand, he feels like it’s too much, he can’t really accept a present this big.

_They’ve already spent enough money on him!_

“This...I can’t-”

“Bullshit, you can - just accept it, Lix”, Jisung interrupts him before he even gets a chance to voice that thought. “We’ve all wanted to gift you a new phone since Chan told us your old one got destroyed by those bastards-”

“Language, Sungie.”

“-and now we did it.” He raises from his place on Woojin and crawls over to let himself fall next to Minho and Felix. His arms come up around Felix’ waist and he snuggles himself against his stomach. “We love you, Pixie. Just accept it.”

“Pixie?”, Minho echoes in amusement.

Jisung grumbles. “No explanation, I just feel like it’s fitting.”

Felix has to giggle through his tears and he looks down on Jisung’s fluffy blond hair to ruffle it gently. “I like that nickname. Thank you, Sungie.”

Jisung’s eyes are shining happily as he looks up at him and as Felix averts his gaze to look to the other boys, he realizes that all of them are smiling at him - with so much fondness, so much love and acceptance in their eyes that he has to swallow.

“I...I guess I’ll have no other choice than to accept the new phone, huh,” he chuckles wetly.

Hyunjin presses a small kiss against his head. “Exactly.”

Felix giggles and leans back against his chest. “Thank you...thank you, guys. For being here for me, for not casting me away, _for even taking me in in the first place_ and...for all you’ve done for me. Seriously.”

Tears are flowing again, but this time, they’re happy tears and they correspond with the happy exclamations of his roommates and the way he’s suddenly squashed between Chan, Minho, Jisung, and Minho and drawn into cuddles - they’re kind of hurting his ribs, but he doesn’t care.

“You’re our Pixie and we love you!” Hyunjin’s happy voice is loud and almost next to his ear, but he doesn’t care.

A feeling blooms in his stomach, gentle at first before it spreads over all of his limbs, filling them with comforting, healing, tingling warmth. He feels a laugh building in his lungs, bursting out as Minho kisses his cheek and he just feels so happy being here with them he could burst.

Maybe the future won’t be as dark and as long as he thinks it would be.

Whatever happens...He’s going to manage it if his six friends stay by his side.

_So this is what family feels like...He’s relieved he found it now._


	12. For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep on walking, keep on running because the dream you're chasing is just around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS BABY NOW IS FINISHED WAAAAH.  
> I am: proud of myself for finishing yet another story. My second one on Archive. Yaay.  
> I've only edited this once, so I apologize if it's still trash...But I can't wait to have this out in the opening. Hope y'all like this epilogue.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who commented on this fic, everyone who made my day with their kudos and comments - I love you all so much, thanks for your support!!
> 
> A lil endnote will be at the end of the chapter. <3

**_“Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you’re going next!”_ **

**_-Mandy Hale_ **

 

Six months later

“Two, three - and turn!”

Sharp commands are echoing through the dance studio, mixing with the squeaking sound of Felix’ trainers and the familiar beats of ‘Runner’s High‘ booming through the stereo.

Miss Kim’s eyes watch him closely through the mirror as she once again directs him through the choreography. “Left, right, jump - and land.” Satisfied, she nods as Felix stops in the ending position, panting heavily.

“Good. There's still place for minor improvements, but nothing we can’t fix over the next few weeks.” She claps slowly before walking over to the stereo and turning it off. They’re the only ones left in the studio, the too empty room with the much too high ceilings making the sudden silence ring in Felix’ ears.

“That’s it for today - you did good, Felix.”

Felix straightens up again and nods with a bow and a small, giddy smile on his face. It isn’t often that his teacher compliments him. “Thank you, teacher-nim...would it be okay if I stay for a bit longer? I wanted to go over the other choreography I created for my performance with Minho and Hyunjin.”

Miss Kim lifts an eyebrow, something like concern appearing in her gaze. “Are you sure? We’ve been here for almost three hours after the normal class ended, Felix - you deserve your rest.”

She walks a bit closer to him, tugging her black, short hair back into a ponytail and pointedly looking at his sweat-soaked clothes. “You will have enough time to go through the choreography again tomorrow - if you want to, I can help you with any difficulties. But for today, it should be enough.” Her voice gets a bit softer towards the end and Felix hangs his head, biting his lip.

Felix deflates a bit but eventually sighs in defeat. “...okay.” He bows quickly. “Thank you for your time again, teacher-nim.”

She nods with a smile. “Rest up, Felix. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

A big yawn tears itself from Felix’ lips as he enters the apartment about half an hour later, the urge to just collapse somewhere and sleep the rest of the day away too strong to resist.

_What time is it now anyway? Wouldn’t it be…’ sleep through the last hours of the day and all night until tomorrow'?_

He doesn’t know. Or well, he’s not sure.

But the sun has been going down already on his way home...so it must be around eight or nine now. He’s just glad it’s warm enough for him to only wear his large sweater over his shorts and tank top.

_Oh right, he feels disgusting - a shower would be amazing right now._

So he toes off his shoes, letting his gym bag fall next to them and groggily walks towards Changbin’s and his own room to grab some new clothes.

Vaguely, he registers sounds, noises and laughs coming from the kitchen and it must mean that the others having dinner right now, but he won’t - _can’t_ \- join them without having showered first.

Entering the room, he stops briefly as he sees Changbin sitting against the headrest of his bed, notebook in his lap and headphones over his ears. He looks neck-deep in concentration, his pen quickly scribbling away at the pages. It must be a rare burst of inspiration so Felix decides to not disturb his creative flow and quickly searches for some fresh clothes before he leaves the room again.

Tiptoeing towards the bathroom, he wonders how he thought he could go through another run-through of the choreography he created with Minho’s help...every limb feels like it’s burning, his muscles screaming at him for putting them through so much effort once again. How did he even manage the walk home?

But Felix is just glad he’s able to go as hard as this again, to dance as much as he wants to - he missed it enough over his healing period.

All his injuries have healed up well, it has taken quite some time, but now he feels as good as before the incident.

_No._

That night has changed something inside of him - he will never be the same as before.

 

Dressed in his favorite pink and fluffy jumpsuit, the hood with the floppy ears drawn over his still damp, white blond hair, he eventually trudges back into the kitchen, blinking sleepily at the six boys sitting around the table.

After a second, his tired and fuzzy brain deems Minho as the comfiest and the closest person to cuddle so he walks over to him and simply collapses in his lap, curling himself up and tucking his face against Minho’s neck.

The older, as well as the rest of them, stop for a second, surprised by Felix’ sudden appearance and his actions - before a collective coo echoes through the kitchen and Minho’s arms come up to pull him closer against his chest.

Despite the blush creeping in his cheeks, Felix cuddles more into him and sighs in content, head leaned against his shoulder. “Hey, hyungs”, he mumbles.

“Our Pixie decided to join us!”

“Awwww, so cute~”

“I love it when you’re this cuddly and clingy.”

“Oh my gosh, you look so soft right now”, Chan coos and leans over to press a gentle kiss to Felix’ head.

The younger looks up to meet his gaze with pink cheeks and a shy smile before he looks around the table and sees all of them gently smiling back at him.

He probably won’t ever get used to the adoration in their gazes when they’re staring at him.

“Why did teacher-nim still keep you in the studio for this long?”, Hyunjin asks eventually while continuing to eat his ramen. “You look dead on your feet - and lectures start early tomorrow.”

“Ugh.” A whiny groan slips past his lips and he hides his face again, pulling his knees up to further curl into Minho. “Don’t remind me...and she did it because I wanted to stay and let her show me the new choreography again...wasn’t sure if I had it down cor-...” He yawns, cutting himself off. “-correctly.”

Minho shakes his head with a huff above him. “Perfectionist. Barely healed and back at living in the dance studio again.”

“Don’t talk like you’re any better, hyung,” Hyunjin grins.

“You all are freaking perfectionists when it comes to dancing - and that is what makes you so good at it.” Woojin’s voice keeps Minho from replying something. He fills a bowl with some more ramen and hands it over to him and Felix with a smile. “Eat up, Lix, you haven’t been eating anything since this afternoon.”

With a small grumble, Felix sits up again and grabs the bowl and the chopsticks, slowly eating away. Half-heartedly, he listens to what Chan and Jisung are telling about their days, smiling softly when Jisung whines about his project deadlines.

“You shouldn’t have a problem to keep up with deadlines - after all, you manage those of Changbin and I pretty well,” Chan grins teasingly and leans back in his chair.

“But you’re a bit more...more chill than my profs.” Jisung sighs. “Three new songs by the end of the semester…”

“You’re gonna make it, Sungie, don’t worry.” Minho throws a small kiss through the air and smiles at him.

Jisung gratefully beams at him before shifting his gaze towards the door as Changbin appears in the kitchen.

Felix smiles at him, but that smile quickly falls as he sees the deep frown on his face, the far-away look in his eyes that doesn’t even seem to recognize him. He looks much more disheveled than when Felix shortly came into their room to get some clothes.

_What happened?_

“Binnie?” The others must have seen it too, judging by the worried tone in Chan’s voice.

“Stuck”, Changbin only mumbles as he walks over to the fridge and opens it to grab a can of something out of it. He turns again and blinks, bleary eyes wandering over all of them before settling on Jisung. “There’s this one part I can’t figure out...It...it doesn’t work.” He shakes his head, pulling at his hair in frustration.

Quickly, Jisung stands up and walks over to him. “Hey, hey, everything’s alright.” Carefully, he loosens Changbin’s finger from his hair and takes his hand into his own. “We can work this out.” With a look towards Chan, he walks out of the kitchen, pulling Changbin behind him.

“Don’t work for too long, you have school tomorrow, Sung!”, Chan calls behind them.

Felix bites his lip as he watches, the ramen bowl forgotten between his hands. Minho nudges him softly as he realizes how deep he got lost in thought again. “You still need to eat something, Lixie - you lost quite some energy today.”

With a sigh, Felix complies and eats the rest of the bowl, his thoughts wandering away to Changbin.

_Maybe they can cuddle tonight and Felix can take his mind away from the lyrics he’s so stuck on?_

He hopes it at least.

He also has to admit he misses cuddling with Changbin...has been a while.

 

It’s almost midnight by the time Felix finally walks back to his room, teeth brushed and ready to fall asleep at any second now.

But Changbin is still awake, the lamp on his night table glowing warmly as he once again stares at his notebook, pencil hovering over the paper, but not moving.

The headphones are missing this time.

Felix bites his lip while walking over to his bed. “Changbin-hyung?”, he asks softly.

“Mh?” He doesn’t even look up.

Carefully, he climbs onto Changbin’s bed and scoots up to him, laying his hands on his knees.

That brings him to look up eventually - and to flinch as he realizes how close they are. “What is it, Lix?”, he asks tiredly.

“Can we…” He pauses, looking down into Changbin’s notebook. “Do you...wanna sleep with...in my bed tonight? With me?” His cheeks feel hot.

_Why is this so hard to get out? It isn’t like he hasn’t asked Changbin for cuddles over the last few months._

Changbin blinks, processing Felix’ words before tilting his head. “You want cuddles?”

Shyly, Felix nods, trying to entice him with the biggest puppy eyes he can muster.

It seems to work because Changbin looks down on his notebook, bites his lip before looking at Felix again - down and up at him again.

“Pleeeease, hyung...we both need to sleep and I...just wanted to cuddle with you…”

“I need to finish…” He groans as Felix rests his head on Changbin’s pulled up knees and purses his lip pleadingly. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop for today.”

Cheering quietly, Felix watches as Changbin puts the notebook away and rises. “Be right back”, he mumbles before slipping out of the room.

With a yawn, Felix stands up to crawl into his own bed again and wait for Changbin to return.

Jisung must have been able to help him at least a bit - or he’s more tired than he lets Felix see because normally, it would have taken a bit more to get Changbin away from his notebook when he’s so set on finishing a song.

Getting a bit more lost in his thoughts, he almost misses it when Changbin enters the room again and walks towards Felix’ bed to slip under the covers with a sigh.

Content, Felix scoots closer to him, tucking himself against his chest and looking up to meet Changbin’s warm, brown eyes.

In the dark, they almost seem black.

“You worry too much about everything”, he whispers before tangling his short fingers into Changbin’s sleeping shirt. “Your lyrics are amazing...and you don’t have to keep working through even more nights to...to produce even better songs.”

Changbin huffs sleepily, a smile grazing his lips. He reaches up to move a few strands of white-bleached hair out of Felix’ forehead, making him lean into the touch slightly.

“Maybe you’re right,” he whispers back, his other arm hooking around Felix’ shoulders and pulling him even closer against his chest.  “But you’re not one to tell me this if you stayed in the studio for hours after Minho and Hyunjin came back - you’re an amazing dancer, Lix, but don’t destroy yourself for it.”

Felix laughs softly, but nods. “I won’t...don’t worry.”

“Good.” Pulling Felix’ head to rest under his chin, the two of them finally settling to sleep.

 

Felix’ world changes the next day at lunch break.

Hyunjin, Jisung, Minho and he have just met up and are now on their way outside to meet up with Changbin, Chan, and Woojin for lunch  - as the speakers in the hallway crack a bit and the announcement starts.

“I would please ask Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix and Lee Minho to come into Dean Park’s office.”

With wide eyes, the four friends stop and stare at each other.

“Did you guys break something?”, Jisung wonders with furrowed brows.

“N-not that we know of…” Hyunjin trails off, uncertainty in his gaze as he looks over to the other two guys. This is the first time something like this has happened since Felix started to study here...and by the looks of his friends, they haven’t experienced an announcement like this either until now.

Felix worries his lip nervously - what could have been the cause of their Dean calling them into his office?

The last time she did it was about…

_NO._

He shakes his head quickly.

“Let’s...let’s just see what she wants”, he decides, tightening the grip on the strap of his bag.

Jisung nods. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

They quickly bid their goodbyes before the three of them walk towards Dean Park Jimin’s office, nervous anticipation in their steps.

_What could have happened?_

 

“Good morning”, Dean Park smiles as they walk inside slowly, shyly. “Sit down for a second, please.” She mentions to a few chairs in front of her desk and only now, Felix realizes that she’s not alone - their dance teacher, as well as two other men, are standing behind her.

Miss Kim smiles at them brightly. “Hello, boys.”

They bow before the three of them before sitting down.

Felix’ thoughts are racing while he holds on tightly to his backpack.

The first man is tall and his skin a warm golden, the casual street clothing revealing a toned and lean dancer body. His dark hair is short and almost completely hidden under a snapback. He can’t be older than thirty and the way he warmly smiles at the boys makes them relax a bit more.

Felix furrows his brows. He knows this man...why does he seem so familiar?

The other man looks a bit more...stiff and official in his dark suit and the headset at his ear as well as the way he’s holding himself with his hands crossed behind his back. He’s probably around fifty, already balding and showing quite a serious expression. Still, he makes an effort to smile a bit at the three boys.

Dean Park continues, her hands crossed on the desk in front of her. “I’m sorry if I’ve scared you with that announcement - you didn’t do anything, do not worry.”

Felix deflates with a relieved sigh and he can see that Minho and Hyunjin are feeling the same.

At least one less thing they have to worry about.

“And before you ask why I called you here, I would like to introduce these two men to you.” She looks over at the serious man with the suit. “Yang Taeyong - First Judge of the selection committee at the IDO Street Dance World Championship.”

She motions to the other man. “Lee Daewoon - Lead dancer in the team ‘Rising Stars’ which won gold in the discipline of Hip Hop and Street Dance last year.”

Felix’ eyes widen and he looks over at Minho and Hyunjin quickly, the awe and recognition mirrored in their gaze.

That’s why he knows him! He has watched quite a few of the performances of his team on the internet!

Dean Park’s voice gets him out of his mind again. “Mr. Yang, if you please.”

Mr. Yang nods and steps forward a bit. “We’ve seen your performance at the last performance night of this university - and all of us were pretty impressed.” A small smile pulls his thin lips apart.

“And now, I am very pleased to inform you that your university has selected your team to compete in this year’s IDO Street Dance World Championship.”

 

 

Chan, Woojin, Jisung, and Changbin are sitting on their usual place under the tree in the park, as usual not very difficult to find.

And seeing that Chan sits alone, next to Woojin with his legs crossed under him, makes Felix quicken his steps even more until he’s running towards the group, throwing his backpack into Changbin’s general direction before throwing himself at Chan with an excited “Chan-hyung!!”

Both of them tumble to the ground, Chan letting out a surprised - and pained - yelp at Felix’ attack, but still hugging him close.

Vaguely, Felix hears Hyunjin and Minho laugh as they come closer too and start rambling, but everything still reaches his brain like through a muddled haze of cotton candy.

“Ouuch, Felix, what-”, Chan coughs briefly and watches curiously as Felix continues to cling to him, switching to English. “ _What brought this on, Lixie?”_

Felix sucks in a deep shuddering breath and looks up, but instead of Chan’s, his eyes meet Minho’s - and the emotion, the happiness and the glittering of tears and the way he laughs breathlessly as he sees Felix looking at him...it makes a sob build up in his chest, together with an almost hysterical laugh.

_This can’t be true._

_This...can’t be-_

But the letter from Dean Park, currently held by Hyunjin, tells a whole other story - a story Felix isn’t able to tell right now so when Chan nudges him again, he motions to Hyunjin and the paper he’s holding because there are tears obscuring his vision now and _oh, everything’s so blurry suddenly_ and oh, _who is sobbing like this?_

“Hey, hey, Pixie, shhh, don’t cry.” Gentle fingers in his hair, combing the strands away from his forehead and Felix pushes into the touch a bit. “Shh. Everything’s alright, don’t cry..”

Sucking in a breath, Felix blinks rapidly to will the tears away and holds on to Chan as he pulls both of them into an upright position again.

He looks over at Hyunjin and Minho - they finally seem to have calmed down enough to tell their friends the reason for one: Felix’ tears, two: Hyunjin’s infectious happiness and three: Minho’s breathless and happy laugh.

“We got chosen-”

“-as a team to...we’re going to the IDO World Street Dance Championship!!”, Hyunjin finishes and shows them the letter before he falls back into the grass with a big grin on his face and both arms outstretched

Minho laughs at him then grins at the rest of their friends. “Exactly.” Then, he lets out a squeal. “I can’t believe it!”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!” Jisung throws himself forward to tackle Minho to the ground and they both land on Hyunjin who complains loudly and groans again as Changbin throws himself on top of them. But not even three seconds later, they all laugh together.

They’re probably much too loud here in this park, but who of them really cares. They’re much too happy.

Looking up at Chan, Felix can see every emotion passing through his wide eyes before they narrow again in a smile and something warm ignites in his chest as his gaze wanders away from their friends and settles on him again.

Chan lifts a hand to caress his cheek gently, Woojin’s face suddenly appearing on his shoulder, his arms around his boyfriend’s waist.

“ _We’ve made it, Chris_ ”, Felix mumbles breathlessly, a smile appearing on his lips, getting wider the more seconds pass and eventually resulting in a happy squeal as he throws his arms around Chan’s neck again.

Chan huffs, the force making him fall back into Woojin’s embrace before he laughs, hugging Felix close. “Yes, you’ve made it - and I’m so damn proud of you. I’m so damn proud of you. Of you all.” His voice dips into a whisper and he draws back to smile his Chan-smile - dimples full on display, eyes narrowed into adorable glittering crescents and his whole face beaming like the sun.

Felix can’t help but giggle and smile back as Chan lifts a hand to take one of Felix’ own and lace their fingers together. His smile softens a bit and the warmth, fondness and...love in his gaze squeezes Felix’ heart together almost painfully.

“I’m so proud of you especially, Pixie. You’ve come so far since Minho and Hyunjin found you on that street - you...you’ve…” He shakes his head and leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Felix’ forehead. “We’re so freaking proud of you...and we’re so happy you’re living with us for over seven months now.”

Chin hooked over Chan’s shoulder, Woojin nods with a smile. “My favorite dongsaeng”, he sing-songs before reaching up and ruffling through Felix’ hair, making him pout. “You’ve grown so much over the last months - watching you now makes me feel like a proud dad.”

Felix giggles at the look Chan gives his boyfriend. “Does that make me the mom then?”

“We can still both be the dads of this group, Channie”, Woojin smiles and kisses him gently.

Chan smiles before looking back at Felix. “And you as our kids? Sweet. I like that.”

With a laugh, Felix falls back against his chest again, the happiness in his heart almost too much to bear.

He made it.

Finally, his dream of becoming a dancer on the big, grand stage is coming closer and closer again with gigantic steps, he has six extremely supportive friends at his side…

_The future - and the Championship - can come._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand that's a wrap! That was Let's Dance the Night Away! Thanks again to everyone who read and commented and gave me kudos and a will to live, ahh.  
> Much love to y'all. <3<3
> 
> Waah, don't go yet!!  
> I'm gonna allow myself to do some shameless self-promotion on here and recommend you my next Stray Kids FF which I will continue working on now that I have LDTNA finished: [When The Night Rises](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19071448/chapters/45304828) \- a story which revolves mainly around Bang Chan, but will probably have some POV changes like this one did. I plan to include nearly everyone in Skz, but also some Original Characters.  
> I would love to see some of you on there!


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